An Honest Cover Letter

Any one of you that have been in the throes of a job interview will probably have had to fabricate quite a few white lies in your time. "Why did you apply for this job?" The answer is most likely money. "Why do you think you'd be good for this job?" Well, you're an extra pair of hands? And do you really need to see my GCSE results to determine whether or not I can stack a shelf or scribble the phrase "X4 Diet Cokes" on a paper pad?

In the surreal working world, we are told that fibs and fake smiles are necessary in order to succeed. But then again, that depends entirely on what you consider to be success. There is nothing that boils my blood more, than when I think back to being verbally abused by customers as I was performing manual labour as a 16-year-old girl on minimum wage. I had to do it all with a smile, because my delightful bosses who sat in their offices and pretended to work needed to tick a box or meet a target. What did I do it all for?

Now, as many of us rapidly approach graduation, we are faced with these prospects once more, as we scroll through and apply for countless jobs we don't really want. But, what if I could tell them the truth? If I could do such a "radical" thing, if I could be so honest, this is what I would say:

To Whom It May Concern,

Hello, my name is Olivia Owens and I am a writer. You may now be asking yourself, what does that have to do with the role as admin assistant, or checkout operative, or waitress that our company was advertising?

You see, the Google definition of a "cover letter" is; "a letter of introduction." That is my name and that is truly who I am. If you were to ask me "Is this your dream job?" I would answer with an unequivocal "No." If you were to ask me if this was something I was looking to do permanently, I would say "Definitely not." Does anyone dream of that? If they do, that’s nice I suppose. Your dream job is readily available to you.

This is not my dream, but that is not to say I won’t work hard for you. See…what is most important for me is not the place, not the mundane task at hand, but the people with whom I will spend the majority of my day. If you treat me right, I will work harder than any employee you’ve ever come across in your however many weeks, months or years in this role.

Why? Because I know this probably isn’t your dream either. So, whatever I can do to make the grind that little bit easier for either of us, why shouldn’t I do that? Maybe one day you will return that favour?

If you’ve gotten this far you’re probably thinking, "That’s all well and good, but this little stunt won’t fly in the real world." Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? I'm a writer. I’m not trying to make it in the real world. I never was. The "real world" isn’t where my heart lies.

There’s that old saying: "If you find a job you like, you’ll never work a day in your life." But I’m not stupid, I know to get there, to reach the peak, there is always a climb. This is just part of my climb. A jagged and crumbling rock I can’t really avoid. If that isn’t the answer you were looking for, then I’m sorry.

You asked for me to introduce myself. This is me. If you don’t want me, that’s okay… This wasn’t my dream anyway. But, I hope one day and with all my heart, that you will live yours.

Thank you for considering me for this role, thank you for listening.