humor
Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?
My Career as a Lesser Child Prodigy
When I was a little kid, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have said, " a flying teddy bear." That was just because people told me I could be whatever I wanted to be, and I took them at their word. When I found out later they really didn't mean I could be WHATEVER I wanted to be, I toned my expectations down a little and said "a writer." I don't know who or what put this idea into my head, for all the good it's done me I probably should have stuck with the goal of being a flying teddy bear. Once you're out of school you don't get to make up for part of your missing work with a stunning essay. You can't pay your rent in Iambic Pentameter.
By Helen Stuart5 years ago in Journal
Introducing the Hive
All my life I wanted bees. As a child my eyes would scan the countryside on road trips, seeking out those colorful and seemingly abandoned boxes at the edges of fields. I wondered about the people in the strange white suits, the suits that made them look like astronauts and they almost seemed to float as well, in a puff of smoke and a swarm of bees around their heads. I dreamed of having my own apiary. I’d paint flowers on the sides and they’d live in the tall grass at the end of a long, foot-worn path.
By Jaine Semon5 years ago in Journal
Ice and Ibuprofen
It was dark here, before they lit the fire. On the only place to stand on this horrible little hill, it showed us that the porcelain of the floor very much matched, much to our surprise, the walls, the ceiling and our whole little world. Our faces shown back at us, eyes big like saucepans and wretched little mouths, smiling in the dim glow. Everywhere, all around us but where our shadows fell, the crowd of us, laughing.
By David Deluca5 years ago in Journal
Memories From My First Job
There once was a time when I worked a less, how shall I say, rewarding job. Like many people, my first venture into the workforce was at a local grocery store. I was sixteen, a sophomore in high school, and looking for money. So, I turned to the "we hire everyone" mentality of the local store. They signed me on as a bag boy — wait, I'm sorry — front service personnel. I'm sure the fancy title was intended to raise the morale among our measly ranks in exchange for paying minimum wage. Fancy title or not, I was now part of the working world.
By Justin Cox5 years ago in Journal
To Pinpoint a Punchline
Abigail was walking down Seventh Avenue in New York City when something tripped her step, making her spill her artisanal latte. It was a little black book on the sidewalk. What’s this?, thought Abigail. She opened the book and in thumbing through the pages, she realized that it was a comedy notebook. No name was assigned to the book, but the inside cover of the book the owner had scribbled a note that promised a reward of $20,000 to return the book. Holy Moly!, Abigail thought to herself, Returning this book could pay for a lifetime of free lattes! The only problem was, there was no name or number listed in the book.
By Caroline Cooke5 years ago in Journal
The Clown Downtown
Donnie was riding the train into work as he usually does. He didn’t want to look up at the grey skies or check his notifications. His mind was on the unfinished work from last week and he had a fairly sore head from his weekend just past. Upon arriving at his station to change trains with only a few minutes to spare, he grabbed himself a coffee. His home-made instant coffee from his breakfast at home was not even close to returning him to a corporate cog again on this Monday morning.
By Andrew Brennan5 years ago in Journal
How the Stars Aligned
"Come in, Mr. Brooks, and have a seat. Thanks for coming in. We have interviewed many candidates for the position, but none have been the right fit. As you can imagine, this is a fiercely competitive industry, and we are at the top of our game. Did you bring your resume?"
By Darryl Brooks5 years ago in Journal
A Fickle Fortune
Something’s not right. Why is there a camera crew here? I slow my approach and narrow my eyes. A quick scan of the area reveals that everything else seems to be in place. The cashiers are scanning and bagging items like they do day in, day out. There’s a soda can pyramid advertising discount cola next to a complex, ten-foot toilet paper structure that, while impressive, makes me wonder how anyone could grab a pack without causing the entire tower to collapse, Jenga-style.
By Guy Sigley5 years ago in Journal
