humor
Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?
How I Lose Wealth In 4 Steps
I’m not hungry for money. but I am actually hungry. Compared to several years ago, when I had more money, I still have the same life, but less food. I wake up, drink my instant coffee, roll a fat splif and then start smoking until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Then, I put on my shorts and t-shirt and start drinking.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Journal
Siri and the Pear Tree
Back when I was living with my family, going to a miserable job, and self loathing everyday, a pretty little kitten found her way to our door and refused to leave. We had three different entrances to our home and she went to every door meowing until she got our attention. Well me being a big softie for babies, kittens, puppies, and anything adorable couldn't resist the little pleading meows and finally took the little kitten in. I immediately named her Osiris. I don't know why the name Osiris fit her so well or came to me, but I honestly believe it was one of the beginnings of my spiritual journey and enlightenment (that's a whole other topic for another day). While her name was Osiris, my sister and I called her Siri. She was very playful, super goofy, and loved cuddling. She was beautiful daughter kitty and we were very close. Siri had her own room, a very big room too. She loved playing under the door and enjoyed that she had her own privacy. She loved taking naps in high spaces, so we made sure she kept a bed anywhere with a shelf in her room. Siri managed to get into a lot of trouble but she would give us a good laugh at the same time. She seemed very comfortable around us and we enjoyed having her. Now, one thing my family could do very well was move, and since I can remember my family has always had a new house, or place every 3 months to 2 years, depending. So while I was very used to moving, Siri was not, but I couldn't leave her in our old neighborhood. We relocated to a new more spacious home with a big back yard and a peaceful neighborhood. Siri didn't take long to get used to the new house or neighborhood, and being the sassy cat she was she immediately went out for exploration. Siri quickly made friends with the other neighborhood cats and loved staying out late at night. Unlike the other neighborhood cats, Siri was very unique. She could be anywhere but when I called her name she knew that meant she needed to come home. She would hop the fence and run inside up to her perch and meow to me about her day. Yes, Siri was very adventurous and she loved being out in her natural habitat, but also loved being home. One day I'd had a very long 12 hours at work and I wanted to go home and see best friend. I pull into the driveway, I call her name and she doesn't show up. I called her few more times, my sister called her still no Siri. I was beginning to panic and worry. I was too afraid to drive around looking for her because I didn't want to see her run over in the middle of the street. Just as my sister and I were about to go inside we heard a very soft "meow." Of course we're looking around wondering where its coming from but seeing nothing, but the meows were so close. Instinctively I look up and there is Miss Siri on the roof of the house nipping at the branches of the tree in front of the house. I'm calling for her to get down and she turns and leaves. She returns with a squirrel in her mouth and drops in front of us as a present. I kindly thank her an give her pets and hugs just relieved she was okay. Siri got pregnant soon after and had six big beautiful kittens we couldn't keep as we were in transition to another home once again. Siri soon got pregnant again with another set of kittens and I'm under the impression that someone found her on one of her explorations because she didn't come home after that. After Siri left we noticed that the tree in front of the house that Siri used to nip at had fruit that had fallen. Since I'd never actually paid attention to the tree accept for when Siri nipped at it, it surprised me when I saw a bunch of pears at the base of the tree. Thinking back to the squirrels we used to find around the house as gifts, it made a lot of since now why she stayed close to the tree in the front yard. Looking around at the pears I noticed some had chunks bitten out of them and some where still intact. For the ones that were still good, I took them inside washed and ate them. I think of Siri often because she was my little baby kitten and I knew she didn't coincidently show up at my front door. Siri and I needed each other in that period of life and she was my best friend. I miss her dearly and hope that the family that she's with now makes her very happy. Before we left that house, I went to tree and carved in "Siri's Pear Tree." I hope they find it and hope it keeps the squirrels away.
By Tanedra Turner4 years ago in Journal
How I Find the Will to Believe in My Creative Self Even Though I am Trapped in this Hell-scape We Call Reality.
I just went to Kathryn Milewski's Vocal page and.....damn. Kathryn Milewski is incredibly talented. She's won many challenges, and for good reason: her prose is honest, relatable, and vocal enough - if you will - to earn its place on this platform. I subscribed right away.
By Emily Aslin4 years ago in Journal
Renaissance Festival War Stories Aug 21/22, 2021
Aug 21/22, 2021 It's been 692 days since closing cannon in 2019. I am so excited. It's Christmas morning. I have collected 125 four-leafed clovers this spring and summer. I have around 70-80 or so left to give away as fest favors. It was my husband's idea to do so. I wasn't sure how to determine how or who would receive them.
By Tinka Boudit She/Her4 years ago in Journal
The air is good today
I love it when the wind is cool, and when the sun shines, but not too harshly. I walk into the kitchen and smell the air and it has a certain scent which I cannot describe, but just know that it gives me goosebumps, it fills me with a softness, as gentle as a woman's touch. If comforts me and loves me, it doesn’t make love to me, but it just loves me.
By Kamil Jan Bazan4 years ago in Journal
The anti-social, social group
The recruitment In 2019, while on a visit to the city I grew up in, I ran into a former grade school classmate whom I had not seen in many years. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, phone contacts and promises to keep in touch, he informed me that our former high school classmates had a WhatsApp group. Considering I left this school after middle school, this information did not excite me. As we were about to part ways and return to our individual existences, he quickly produced his cell phone and informed me he had added me to the group; this still did not excite me.
By Dwayne Adderley MBA5 years ago in Journal
Why I Will Never Make Any Money Writing
Yep, I suck at writing If you are anything like me (trust me, you are not), then you suck at writing. That said, just because you suck at something doesn’t mean you can’t make shit tons of cash by doing it. Look at this very website. There are a few truly great writers who regularly contribute, some pretty darn good ones, a few more OK ones, a shit ton of average or below average ones, and the remaining who probably make up just over 51% of the writing population here, the terrible, horrible, downright craptastic ones. Oh, and then there’s me. I will leave it to the reader to decide where I fit in on that sliding scale of trainwreckage, but that is really beside the point. The point is that there are a boatload of writers in that 51% who are making gobs and gobs of cash by writing. Yep, you read that correctly, you don’t have to be one of the greats, or average, or any good at all, to fulfill your dreams of endless bags of cocaine and supermodel blowjobs by the gross, through writing. Female dreams and your own dreams may differ slightly from mine of course.
By Everyday Junglist5 years ago in Journal
