Silence for the Soul

I was sitting , the position of the stars starting conversation with the Universe. I was expressing my vexation, asking why. So many questions with so few answers, just constellations and glittering stars. How could something so far away seem so close? How can the answers be right here, yet nowhere at all? That’s when the Universe spoke.

It asked me:

“Chile, why must you continuously punish yourself to get the things you want?”

It took a while to form a response to this. The slow but impending rotation of the planet didn’t stop time from walking ahead of me, into the rainforest. Craning my neck to view these metal clouds that rain down on me, I sang my sorrows into the abyss of the skies. I harmonized my hymns with the whir of my rampant emotions. In the snare of my sobs, symbols of my tears, strings of my heart, I found fragments of an answer.

Emotional volatility. The things I want seem to come at the price of my soul. I must suffer to reap the rewards, pain is the price to pay for pleasure. Growing hurts, and I can’t interfere with the inevitable. Your stars burst into flames along their transcendence. If I am kin to the galaxies above, what makes me an exception to this eruption? Exposure to stimulus resembling my birth, the creation of my own world results in the fierce proclamation of my conjurations. Punishment is synonymous to discipline. Saturn's rings never cease to rotate, reminding me that what goes around comes around. I figured this was my withdrawal from my karmic bank, punishment. I was taught that you must wait for what you want, and that sometimes your wants aren’t attainable unless you work. Continuous punishment reminds the child that they are not in control, so I must remain in receptiveness to the emotional volatility that rattles my core in a volcanic manner.

I asked:

“Why must you insinuate my pricelessness yet put my desires on a tab?”

The Universe responded to me with endearing words. I wondered whether the messages of the Creator had ever been so clear. There I laid on the floor of the rainforest surrendered to the shade of the trees, the sounds of the animals and responsiveness of the breeze. I closed my eyes receptive to what the Universe had to say to me

“You make assumptions that the tab is yours to take care of, delaying your demands. Whether or not there is currency in your karmic bank, it is not your fee to finance. Your desires are immeasurable, sweet girl. You worry your heart too much with lessons that Saturn didn’t deal to you. For your eyes may have bore witness but darling, the things you wish for are but a tiny fraction of the things you deserve. You must learn to control your volatility, child. Your riptides are becoming dangerous and the Moon won’t always be there to save you. Until you master your own current, you’ll never foresee your fortune. You’ll be dragged into depths unfathomable, uncharted, lost at sea. These metal clouds are mere glimpses into your own soul, so let the rain trickle down your face and wash away your tears for clarity isn’t to be found in chaos. Time will seem to move backwards, and the tide will return you to shore, rest assured your lessons have been learned. Your wounds are self inflicted, dear. Heal slowly, intently. Look to me for your answers, look into your heart for resurgence. Your wants and needs are one and the same, at no cost or a need for pain. Rest your weary legs, for you’ve gone too far away from Self. Return home my child, listen to me. You no longer need to endure hardship to prove your merit. This world was created as yours, so take it. I’ve turned your volatility into stability. You are loved, never forget. Let go, I’ve got you.”

- indiya tyshai