Being a Woman in a Man's World

If you've read some of my stuff you will know I am a huge champion of woman supporting women. We waste so much time competing with each other when we'd all be better off if we celebrated each other, and our wins big and small. It goes without saying that I have women in my life who make things better and my loyalty to them remains strong as I want them to always be the best them they can be.

This however is a bit of a flip on that. I think sometimes I get so focused on on supporting the women around me that I forget my world is also filled with good men.

I work in what is considered a male dominated industry, it can be an intense and high stress environment. One in which we don't necessarily manage the psychosocial aspects of our staff's wellbeing very well. We are in a period of chronic staff shortage and are losing good staff hand over fist for reasons I cannot go into. Added to this we have an upper level management team so unable to read the room that they think a bunch of useless trinkets and empty words will improve the morale and bond staff together.

Anyway into the steaming pile of dung that this last week turned into, I watched as many cracks appeared. We will pull together, we always do. We somehow manage to survive, some of the amazing women I work with even manage to thrive in a man's world.

Here's the thing, even though there are times we feel alone, feel as though a penis gives you an advantage (and it does sometimes) feel like maybe we should stop trying because it never seems to get us anywhere, even then, I think we need to take a moment to remember we don't do this alone.

I want to take this moment to thank the men I work with. Our job has pay parity - men and women get paid the same. The higher ranks are open to women not just men. Which means we start from a level playing field in some ways.

I really want to focus on the men I work with right now. They regularly accept and respect the achievements of the women they work with. They routinely express disgust and annoyance with other men (usually) who don't respect a woman's experience or rank. They address those deficiencies with professionalism and respect. And before you get on a high horse and say "I don't need to be defended by a man", I ask you to think of it not as needing rescuing, but being shown support and respect. We all want to be respected and when the men I work with show me they have my back as an equal, it makes me feel good.

I get that there are points of disjunction where men and women do things and process things differently, and sometimes it causes tension or issues. But you know what? These men will listen and admit perhaps something could've or should've been dealt with differently.

I've seen a female coworker's demeanour lift when the man she worked with threw out an off the cuff compliment. It was nothing big to him - or didn't seem to be - more it was simply a supportive statement of fact. I could tell that she didn't hear that stuff very often, and it made a difference to her.

It was a small thing and it meant a lot.

It is no secret to anyone that I have more than a few rough edges but these men never make me feel lesser, never make me feel as though my opinion doesn't matter - in fact quite the opposite.

Sure there are hiccoughs - it's not a problem free workplace, but for the most part the problems lie elsewhere.

So to the men who show me everyday than my quirkiness isn't a problem. To the men who have enabled me to know what it feels like to truly be part of a team. I want to say thank you, because sometimes in the chaos of things we all forget the value of simple gestures of decency and support.

Being a women in a male dominated industry isn't without its challenges but sometimes people on the outside need to know the problem isn't always the men we work with. And we as women need to remember that while we may not need rescuing, it is nice to work comfortably alongside someone who treats you as an equal.