Satire
The Grocery Store Conspiracy: When Bananas Plot Against You
The Day My Groceries Turned Against Me Have you ever had a routine trip to the grocery store turn into a full-blown existential crisis? I have. It all started on a perfectly normal Tuesday when I reached for a loaf of bread, only to hear it whisper, "Are you sure about that?" What followed was an odyssey involving telepathic produce, a cashier with a PhD in conspiracy theories, and a rogue shopping cart determined to alter my destiny.
By Alain SUPPINI11 months ago in Humor
Kitsch, Bang, Aliens
The first astronaut with an OnlyFans account landed on Mars today, making history for the sex worker community. "I'm just so proud," said Payload Specialist Patricia Penrose, better known by her online persona Patty Payload. "I couldn't have done this without my fans. Speaking of which, make sure to subscribe to my channel for all my lewdest Mars content!"
By Tyler Clark (he/they)11 months ago in Humor
When Integers Attack. Honorable Mention in Absurdist Awakening Challenge. Top Story - March 2025.
The dreaded SAT starts promptly at 8:30 am in the morning. Too damn early if you ask me. Getting a good score is the only way of getting a scholarship into a decent college (unless you get a B-list actress to pay someone to take the test for you). Ninety of us are packed in like herrings, nine neat rows, entering demographic information in case universities want to contact us directly. Lots of codes and crap to enter: student ID, school, room number, blood type, next of kin, my car’s VIN.
By Barb Dukeman11 months ago in Humor
Way to go, Zoh!. Content Warning.
Leaning her forehead against the cold, shiny windowpane, Zohra gazed longingly at the neighbor’s yard. Her favorite willow tree stood there, free. She sighed audibly. There was a moment—a pause—during which her grandfather stopped typing on his typewriter, and she sighed again, this time turning to him with the saddest face she could muster. Her lips quivered at the corners, her eyes downcast.
By Monica Theresa11 months ago in Humor
It wasn't until I crapped my pants that I knew I was allergic to seafood.
It had been 4 years, 2 months and 6 days since I had gone on a date. Not because I went through a bad breakup and was wallowing in self-pity, but because I’d been so focused on my career that I had time for little else. I had moved my way up to project manager at a large marketing firm. I had an office filled with inspirational quotes, a fern in the corner that was half dead due to severe dehydration and a goldfish, Frank. Frank and I had been together for about 5 years. Even though there were occasions where a considerable amount of time had passed between feedings and water changes, Frank, the trooper, pulled through. Everything in my life seemed to be working out great and just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, I met Ramona.
By Christoph Wetty11 months ago in Humor
Free Fiona the Sheep!. Top Story - March 2025.
A row has broken out over plans to rehome Britain’s loneliest sheep. The ewe, now named Fiona, was rescued after being stranded for more than two years at the foot of cliffs in the Scottish Highlands. But an animal rights group says plans to rehome her to Dalscone Farm near Dumfries would make her a “spectacle.” Fiona is now in hiding after activists turned up at Dalscone Farm— BBC News, 5th November 2023.
By Brendan Donaghy11 months ago in Humor
RAINING CATS & DOGS
5.30am on a cold Winter’s morning, chores for the day to be completed. Flo sighed the moment she opened her bedroom curtains. The rain poured and Bailey, her old, fluffy Sheep dog had to be walked. Once dressed, flinging on any old sweater, she grabbed him, as he bounded for joy, even at his age, this dog still acted like a puppy. Who had this much energy at 5.30am on a Monday morning anyway?
By Elizabeth Butler11 months ago in Humor
