Sarcasm
Belts With Holes Are Dead
In one possible dystopian future the fall of man was brought about not by a nuclear holocaust or alien invasion, nor by a biological agent unleashing a zombie plague or a global economic collapse, but rather by an event so mundane, so random, so seemingly inconsequential that not even the wisest of men could have predicted it. This is the world of belts with holes are dead. A world ended when the last belt with holes suddenly disappeared from our planet earth. A hellish nightmarescape where the ability to keep one’s pants up even if they are too large is no longer an option for most. The rich seclude themselves in future belt enclaves where they live in relative luxury and wear whatever size pants within +/- two sizes they desire while the poor live in squalor, suffering from constant pants droppage or doing anything they can to just get by. The lowest of these, the so called “below the knee cutters” are the worst off by far. Their misery was so great that they actually took scissors to every pair of pants they owned and cut them off below the knees. Sick I know, do not read on if you are faint of heart. The only hope left are the so called Pioneers of Future Belts. Will they arrive in time to save our once beautiful planet and usher in a utopian paradise where everyone, regardless of means, can choose to wear whatever pants they want, no matter the waist size or inseam length? These stories represent the collected works of just some of the people who lived through those dark times. Pray their future does not become our own.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humor
Grimace Shake's Meme Magic
Once upon a time in the bustling realm of the internet, there existed a humble character named Grimace Shake. With its goofy grin and wobbly demeanor, Grimace Shake was a beloved meme that had tickled the funny bones of netizens worldwide. But little did anyone know that this innocent joke was about to embark on a magical journey that would transform it into an internet phenomenon.
By Adewale Ojaleye3 years ago in Humor
Six Random Things We Believe As Kids That Are Untrue As Adults
I have decided that I am very irritated. Both with younger myself and with the (former) adults in my life. I say former because I am now, at least physically speaking, an adult myself. But seriously younger me, what the hell? You believed some very basic truths that you were either outright told or at the very least strongly hinted at. Such simple facts like "You can do whatever you want when you grow up", or "You can buy anything when you get a job of your own". Or a timeless classic "You can do anything you set your mind to". That one especially is such a "fuck you" to impressionable kids. We are set up for disappointment from the very beginning! Let's cover some of these untruths in a new kind of Random Pieces, shall we?
By CASEY FARTHING3 years ago in Humor
Moonlit Serenades: The Song of an Unlikely Crusader
Every time the moon is full, I find myself howling. It's not something I choose to do. Trust me, howling like a deranged werewolf at two in the morning from your cramped studio apartment isn't the best way to endear yourself to the neighbors. I've gotten enough noise complaints to start a bonfire. But what could I do? After all, it's not like there's a self-help book for nocturnal howlers like me.
By Evan Brown3 years ago in Humor
The Memes Enigma: Unraveling Their Comical Powers and Unexpected Consequences. Content Warning.
Introduction: In a world where laughter reigns supreme, memes have emerged as the digital jesters of our time. These whimsical nuggets of humor possess an extraordinary ability to bring joy and mirth to our lives.
By Zakria Mirza3 years ago in Humor
The Password Paradox
A Tale of Forgetfulness, Redemption, and Unexpected Discoveries In a world where technology ruled and passwords safeguarded digital kingdoms, there lived a character named Emily. She was an adventurous soul, always seeking new experiences and challenges. However, there was one challenge she consistently faced – forgetting her passwords.
By kulandaivel3 years ago in Humor
We all have the most
We all have the most important person in our lives, and that person is our mother. Is mom, let us come to this beautiful world; Our mothers raised us; Mother taught us the truth that we should love our mother, honor our mother. My mother has a pair of big eyes, listen to a straight nose on the shelf with a pair of glasses, and a black bright hair. My mother takes care of me everywhere in my life. Always afraid that I do not have enough to eat, wear warm, sleep well, but they save the simple use of food. My mother not only cares about me in life, but also in study. I remember one time, I was walking home with more than 70 points of the paper, and I felt that my world was dark, because I had never taken such a low score before. Back home, I did not say hello to my mother. Mom saw me dejected and said, "What's wrong?" Why are you slouching? Did you do badly on your exam? After listening to my mother's words, I could not bear it any longer and jumped on my mother and cried. Mother helped me wipe away tears, said: Take the test paper to mom, OK? I nodded, took out the paper and handed it to my mother, my mother looked carefully and said: I think these questions you are too careless will be wrong, the next time more careful. You know what? In fact, failure is not terrible, terrible is not able to stand up from failure. There is no use crying, as Laxnes said: tears cannot wash away pain. More gas! I'm sure you'll do well in the next exam. After listening to my mother's words, I thought: Yes! The road of life can not be smooth sailing, there will always be such difficulties, setbacks. After I have to go through a lot of ups and downs, now by this small difficulty to beat down how? So I cheer up again. A mother's love is great. Mother's love is like a spring breeze, gently, gently brushed my heart. It is because of my mother's love that I can thrive. Who said inch grass heart, reported three chunhui. In the future, I will do my best to honor my mother and repay my mother.The coach runs on the vast Weishui plain. The sky is unusually dark, and a gust of cool wind blows into the slightly crowded car from time to time, adding a cool touch to the hot and cheerful atmosphere of tourism. In the car, I looked at the looming river and the "modern" Ba Bridge in the distance, and my thoughts drifted back to the five thousand years of history of the Ba River. Willow with smoke Ba bank spring, climbing for pedestrians every year." The area of Ba Shui used to be the only way to enter and exit the ancient capital, the traffic of Tong and Yao, and the only way to travel east and west. Naturally, the Ba Bridge above it has also become a place for literati and relatives and friends to say goodbye, where people break off willow branches and confide in each other. Suddenly, the car stopped on the side of the road, I walked out of the car with the people. All of a sudden, a cool breeze blowing, so that I understand, to, this is once the faraway place Ba water. Walking slowly on the hard frozen soil of the river, facing the waves of rustling winter wind, looking at the desolate expanse of the plain, my heart not only rose waves of sadness like cold wind. Where is the Ba Bridge that has soaked through the tears of travelers and bathed in the vicissitudes of history? Looking at the river, several majestic Bridges immediately and stubbornly squeezed into the eye, but the Bridges here are modern products, the ancient simple Ba Bridge and hidden where? Then I realized that the ancient bridge was actually no longer there. I looked around, trying to find some trace of its existence, but all I saw was a desolate plain. Suddenly I was filled with emotion in my heart, I seemed to see that is immersed in the river of time in the Ba Bridge, looking at the distant flow, with a lot of simple things disappeared in the distance. My heart can not help but rise the feeling of farewell, just like the ancient farewell on the ancient Ba Bridge. People always say that "development changes fast", but has anyone noticed what changes in the rapid change? Not only the old debris, even those representing the long culture, the long history of things are gradually lost with the development of the Ba Bridge, is it possible for us to let a culture and relics that have not disappeared continue to walk on the road of the Ba Bridge?
By BRANDON GAGNARD3 years ago in Humor
