Parody
đ BREAKING: Watermelons Declared Endangered â America Spirals Into Melon Meltdown. AI-Generated.
It started with a fungus. It ended with an entire country in full fruit-based hysteria. This is the story of what happens when you take away summerâs juiciest iconâand people lose their rind.
By Travis Johnson6 months ago in Humor
Why Crocs Are the Official Footwear of the Apocalypse
INTRO: THE END IS NIGH⊠AND ITâS COMFY When the four horsemen ride into town, you can bet they wonât be rocking Yeezys. When Wi-Fi dies, Starbucks becomes a post-apocalyptic war zone, and Amazon Prime falls like the Roman Empire, one shoe will rise from the ashes like a rubber Phoenix: Crocs.
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
How Government Spending Works⊠Without Numbers
Welcome to the magical land of government spending, where math is a myth, accountability is an endangered species, and the national debt is just a number we chant before sacrificing logic to the gods of lobbying. If you've ever wondered how your tax dollars are used, abused, or lost behind a vending machine at the Pentagon, then this guide is for you!
By The Pompous Post6 months ago in Humor
Mars Rover Finds...Itself. Top Story - July 2025.
From the Associated Press (July 2025): Recent reports from NASA have shown that one of the rovers used to navigate and study the terrain of the Red Planet has suddenly discovered its own inner balance and peace of mind.
By Kendall Defoe 7 months ago in Humor
Manifesting a Better Life Using Only Expired Condiments and Positive Vibes
đ Welcome, seeker of shelf-stable enlightenment. Youâve tried it all: Vision boards. Journaling. Screaming into a crystal shaped like Gwyneth Paltrow. And yet⊠your life remains one existential pothole away from a full spiritual blowout. Well, what if I told you that the answer to your dreams isnât in a self-help book or a TikTok tarot card? Itâs in your fridge... In the door... Behind the pickles. Lurking with mysterious crust around the capâŠ
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
The Legend of Don Conrado Pt.3
As Don Conrado suspected, the premonition of Vador returned. And with matching fervor, he shook off all thoughts of insubordination for the greater cause and benefit of the Empire. With an air of undeniable conviction, he stepped forward (as one would from the dock of a spaceship), ready to instantly subdue â or even to sphagettify â a slick and cunning porch pirate (with but a single whip of his royal sash); had he want and desire to civilize such a foul creature; should one suddenly emerge from out the carriage of the Amazon, perhaps â not entirely unlike some disguised agent of the rebel fleet. For, I dare say, in this reality, these stooges in disguise were not only complicit but also in the habit, of pricing all earnest competition out of the galaxy; and as a consequence, they had earned their fair share of sworn enemies.
By Delusions of Grandeur 7 months ago in Humor
God, The Bible, Jesus⊠And My Very Confused Brain
There are two topics I usually avoid like a salad bar in a petrol station: politics and religion. Not because Iâm not interested. Oh no, no. Itâs because both subjects have an incredible ability to transform perfectly normal people into very passionate, very loud, and very exhausting debaters, convincing each other who is right. Also, my coffee gets cold while theyâre trying to convince me.
By Tina's Blossom Life7 months ago in Humor
