New Scientific Evidence Shows All Life Devolved from Human

NASA’s analysis of material returned from Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko reveals intact, fully sequenced human DNA dating to 4.54 billion years ago, predating Earth’s oceans by 200 million years.

This discovery confirms that life on Earth did not evolve upward.

It devolved downward from an advanced human civilization that arrived via comet, then progressively lost biological, cognitive, and cultural complexity over billions of years.

Recently, the evidence has become clear:

In 1863, more than a century ago, Abraham Lincoln intoned the unforgettable words “four score and seven years ago…”

Over the last five years, the leaders of the United States spoke mostly in monosyllables:

Donald Trump, communicates in playground language — “You’re a loser!” and his predecessor, Joe Biden, resided in a White House converted to a nursing home, with aides whispering sycophantically, “Mr. President, the teleprompter says ‘economy,’ not ‘ice cream.’”

While in Europe, French leader Emmanuel Macron is married to his grandmother (or high school drama teacher, according to some reports).

“Darwin got the direction wrong,” said Dr. Elena Voss, lead genomic paleontologist on the OSIRIS-REx II mission. “We didn’t climb the tree of life. We fell down — branch by branch.”

The Great Enshittification: A 4.5-Billion-Year Downgrade

Scientists believe life on Earth began with peak human intelligence — a golden age of interstellar travelers who didn’t need clothes and debated ethics in Latin.

But then came The Great Enshittification, a universal law first described in Cory Doctorow’s 2023 blog post, now retroactively applied to biology.

“Natural selection didn’t build us,” Voss explained. “It broke us. Slowly. Over eons.”

Selection pressure favored short-term survival, not long-term intelligence.

After the Toba volcanic eruption, 4 billion years ago, monkeys became the most successful life form (can climb away from lava flows), and Homo sapiens were reduced to hiding in caves scratching out drawings with colorful rocks.

Later devolve-provements included:

• squirrels (run fast),
• snakes (can chill for months without eating),
• fish (70% of the earth is water),
• sponges (don’t overthink things),
• bacteria (can reproduce in 2 hours).

More recent downward adaptions in humans include the recent Y-chromosome mutation for male-pattern baldness (short term advantage: less spending on hairdressers), and the TikTok addiction gene (short term advantage: avoid talking to relatives).

In 1903, the Wright Brothers invented flight:

In 2018, a Boeing 737 Max-8 crashed itself:

In 1962, Jacqueline Kennedy introduced the tradition of Christmas themes to the White House:

In 2025, Melania Trump spends her time in Florida, while her husband tears down the White House East Wing with a bulldozer:

Darwin’s Error: Directionality

Darwin observed variation and adaptation — correct, but incomplete. He interpreted this as complexity emerging from simplicity.

The comet data shows the opposite:

• All observed “evolution” is local adaptation within a decaying system
• No new genetic information has been added in 4.5 billion years
• Every lineage is a diminished version of the original human template

A Complete Human Genome in Deep Space

The comet sample — a 3.2-gram ice crystal — contained:

• 23 human chromosome pairs, identical in structure to modern Homo sapiens
• Functional genes for advanced cognition, language, and fine motor skills
• No microbial or primitive genetic material — only fully evolved human sequences
• Preserved proteins including hemoglobin, collagen, and neural filament.

Etched into the ice, in a script matching the DNA’s regulatory sequences, was a message presumed to hold the solution to devolution.

Our scientists weren’t able to decode it.

Implications

1. Humanity is not ascending — we are the remnant of a fallen civilization.
2. Extinction is not a risk — it is the final stage of devolution.

What This Means for You

Congratulations! — you’re not a descendant of apes. You’re a buggy fork of a once-glorious interplanetary civilization.

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Inspired by the recent news coverage of possible "aliens" on Comet 3I/Atlas:

If you have any other examples of humanity evolving to new depths over the last few decades, please drop them into the comment section.