Le Maître chat ou le Chat botté

France (1697)

"Puss in Boots". Le Maître chat ou le Chat botté, as the French will refer to the little rascal, is out and about.

Puss lay sleeping comfortably in the warm grass. He was dreaming of foxy female cats chasing playful butterflies through beautiful fields of colorful wildflowers. Floral blossoms, multi-faceted and multi-colored in their magnificence, swayed in the mild breeze as the honeybees vied for the nectar of the fragrant blooms.

Curious bunnies gather around Puss' prone form inquisitively, peering closely at his slightly heaving chest.

"Is he alive"? Pip wondered aloud.

"I think he is rather dead, by the look of his ugly head". Chuckled Grandpa Gyp.

Puss stirred, yawned a wide sleepy, gaping, cavernous and scary dark hole which drooled a little. He opened half of an eye, stuck the tip of his left paw into his mouth, smiled, mumbled something unintelligible, and went back to sleep. Somewhere in the jaded depths of slumber he heard disembodied voices speaking words which were incoherent in their eerie nature.

"He is alive then, isn't he. Should we wake him up then Grandpa, you know time is a'wasting".

Pyg poked Puss in his side. He giggled in his sleep, he was a tad ticklish. His dream had now changed to one where all types of animals were gathering around him. He was not dreaming at all. Puss was having an actual vision.

From out of the forest had come all types of animals, bears, lions, tigers, tiny ones, large ones and the ones in between. They all pushed and poked each other, trying to acquire a peek at the sleeping cat on the ground. They all knew him very well. His reputation for tricking and robbing the humans was well known.

It was well known that Puss was an anthropomorphic conman, that he had the ability and perception of a divine being or beings in human form, that he had a knack for recognition of human qualities in these other beings. It was generally believed that Puss was half cat, half human.

After a few minutes, everyone's patience ran out. The animals all decided to roar, chirp, bark, bellow and caterwaul all at once, just so they could make sure that Puss would come fully awake at once. His ear was urgently needed, there was no more time to waste.

A deafening noise vibrated through the molecules within the air, reaching Puss' ear in a tintinnabulation most deafening. Puss meowed and screeched most distressingly, his body arched and ejaculated straight up into the air, then fell with a sickening thud back unto the ground. He sat bolt upright in alarm, looking around him, thinking that his life was in grave danger. Puss grabbed his sword, which was always nearby when he slept, and prepared to fight.

The animals laughed so hard, snorts, tears and disturbing noises filled the reverberating forest air. Amused animals did not make the most amusing of sounds, Puss realized. It was kind of scary.

"Put your weapon away Pussy Cat. We just want to talk". Grandpa rabbit said, laughing so hard he had to hold unto his sides.

Puss turned and collected his clothes and hat which he had hung on a post not far off. Dressed and feeling less vulnerable, his heart rate slowing and a bit steadier, he prepared himself to listen to what the animals had to say.

Everyone turned their eyes to Wise Owl perched on a branch above their heads. Puss followed their gaze. Owl, not mincing her words, started to speak.

"For the past months the villagers have run out of food. The royal guards have been forcing them to give what little they have for the king's household. The famine, caused by lack of rainfall, has been hard on everyone. This has caused the villagers to turn to the forest for survival. They are hunting far more than is acceptable to keep the forest population stable. If this is allowed to continue, soon our existence will be threatened". Owl paused for a moment to let her words sink in.

"We have heard of a large horse-drawn contraption passing through this evening with grains and food heading for the palace. We want you to help us capture it so we can help the poor folks to secretly plant and feed themselves from a hidden place within the forest. A place where there is a lake with water to tend the crops. You know how these people think better than we do, so we need your help".

Puss's attitude perked up. He loved nothing more than to make double trouble for the palace guards. He laughed and rubbed his paws.

"Happy to help. I know just what to do". He replied smiling an evil smile.

Plans were made and animals strategically placed throughout the forest. All they had to do now was wait. There was a great jabbering as different animals made small talk to pass the time.

Suddenly, they heard the clattering of hooves coming fast towards them. A great silence resonated throughout the forest.

The two men holding the reins at the front of the carriage perked their ears up. The sudden silence had been quite deafening. This was really strange.

"What do you think it is"? Asked driver #1.

"Maybe they all went to sleep"! Replied #2.

The two men inside the coach guarding it poked out their heads.

"Is everything ok out there"? The lead guard enquired.

Suddenly, the most frightening noise they had ever heard resounded through the forest. What seemed like a thousand animals converged upon the coach. The four large horses bucked and came to a sliding halt as four large bears galloped towards them. Two more bears grabbed the men off the front of the coach and lions growled menacingly at them. They took off running into the forest, chased by various types of animals. The other two needed no prompt, they too made a beeline for the trees. Lions roared, elephants trumpeted and general mayhem ensued.

Puss and the gorillas grabbed the bags, animals grabbed the small bags and everyone made their way to the secret place which the owl had talked about.

It was now the job of Puss to convince the villagers of the sincerity and plausible positive sides to this arrangement. The animals would not harm them as they prepared to retake the path to their independent existence once more.

The elders sat with Puss and agreements were reached.

It is now almost a year and things were working out just fine. Nature was regaining its control of its natural resources, and animal life was flourishing as it should. The villagers can now feed themselves, and the kings guards had no idea of this new development.

Puss in Boots had saved the day again.

...............................................................................................