— I'm a Woman in Love with Being in Love —
As an observational 'Goof' form of entertainment, in an off-putting sort of way, I've been scrolling through a dating site. There are pictures and bio profiles of hundreds of women. For some reason, they always show themselves when they are young next to their current pictures. I always ask to date the younger one!
It's kind of sad that this site has so many women looking for a 'Lifetime' mate and so few men. Survival of the fittest lifelines of women vs men; also, narrowing the choices with many men switching sides, who are looking for other men.
Wrinkles no Tinkles: End~Game straight off the list. Most use their what they've Gots' as a calling card. Some of my favorites: 'Yoga Mat Pain-No Gain' ~ 'I'm not Worldly, I'm just Pretty.' ~ 'Beauty fades but Dumb Boobies last forever.' 'I'm looking for my Soulmate, I'm so tired of being alone, but just to put this out there - I don't date Schlubs.'
"So if you're seriously not interested in a woman that will 'Henpeck~Down' your 'Little' Schpikel for you - Then I 'Probably' just may not be the Woman for you!" Reading a 1/2 page of rules and regulations before any other pleasantries pushes me backwards - but that's probably just me. How can a person kick someone down the street with innuendos and expect them to jump into their lap? Focus on the positive 1st, you'll get out your what I don't like about you, negatives in due time.
Often couples wonder what one-another is thinking and nothing ever gets resolved: Wonder what he's thinking~wonder what she's thinking. With me, I always wonder what I did wrong!
— I could go on but none of you would want me to —
All it takes is reading the room communications and when to Face off: It often takes pinpoint timing for your instantly prudent analysis to come to fruition. "Perfect Women aren't Real and Real Women aren't Perfect, are you a Puurfect Catch?" ~ Why, yes I am! ~ I think y'all get the picture as I did.
— Following the Find ~ The Relationship —
Choose your Encounters: Life in the way? I'm often just stunned by all of the 'Choices' to Go along to Get along. Surely not an original concept, perhaps even overworked. But always personal 'standout' memories for most of us, that often just lay dormant, that we had chosen to have the 'Wisdom' to overlook for the better good.
There are so many occasions when your best action is no action. When I knew my wife had her mind set on a course of action, I learned that any points I state to illustrate my opinion would be a lost cause; a cause of irritation! I bit my tongue, and yes, my tongue was often raw from frequent biting. No sense in trying to dissuade her! Strike a chord with any of you? After so many years I certainly knew the wisdom of not being trapped by choosing obvious battle-trap-ploys! Let it go ~ Carry on to the high road!
There are everyday instances where it's easier to just skip-it rather than spin-up avoidable unnecessary angst. Would she have been more attentive if I had mentioned these things to her? Not a chance - no winners here: The less is more theory. Best way to close a deal, as a very practiced negotiator, my motto always was to talk about Lassie or the Weather once the Deals-a-Deal, nothing more.
As the title implies, our twists and turns in life often begin with what seem to be small choices to find a mate. Maybe that’s why young people once consulted with elders within a tribe or family when facing tough decisions. When much younger, it always looked like I could just choose an alternative if my initial choice didn’t work out. The cost of losing a few years of one's life seems like small potatoes when you are certain you will live forever.
Be selective of the problems, arguments and confrontations that you get involved in. Instead of putting up your dukes, save your time for the things that truly matter. Fight in-your-face battles or turn the other cheek.
Is it Worth it - Save your Strength: Life is like a Coin, Spend it any way you want, but once it's Gone it's Gone. Too Sugary~One Cube-Lump or Two?
Plato: 'Love is a serious mental disease'
*Good to be back as this Ai Breach has affected us all*
Jay Kantor, Chatswoth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -
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Jay Kantor
'For The Kids Someday'
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Comments (35)
Whoa!!! It all sounds so complicated, so many things to think about. I am sort of relieved there were no dating apps/sites when I was younger. My friends and I used the school yearbook to look for dates that may be available. Anyway, good editorial/story/article. As I mentioned before, you write the way I think - so your stuff is easy for me to follow!!! Cheers!
Your reflections on modern dating culture balance satire with discomfort in an effective way. The exaggerated bios and quoted phrases expose performative intimacy without outright condemnation, letting irony do the heavy lifting.
Thank you for pointing me here. Bravo.
“Love is a serious mental disease” my new favorite quote! Great article Jay
Charming & full of sage advice! Well done Jay!
Great artwork as usual Jay and a sure-fire topic choice! I guess the sites work for some people, but I am definitely NOT one of those people. Sites and such seem too artificial for me. There are no shortcuts in meeting a partner or friend, and for me it's seems sad that people have the need to resort to this method in the first/second/third place, but to each his/her own.
I met my wife when I went into a jewelry store she was working in however, my step son met his wife on what they called love at Aol and they have been married over 20 years and are the parents of our two Grandchildren. I love your sketches, they inspire me to do some of my own. Well done Jay - Well Done!!!!
Congragulation on this nice story👏😄😄. You encourage me to write
I got here eventually... ha... words for a dating site or epitaph?? Unsure right now. Likely both... and much more besides. Good to see your goof here. Great observational piece. Handbrake parking, as ever. CJ. ✌️❤️
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Call me old fashioned but I did meet my husband offline! Nothing against the sites of course, I know lots of happy matches that were struck online! It is an interesting way to start off a relationship and I definitely see what you mean about starting off with the positive look fors instead of just a list of rules/red flags. I get not wanting it to be a crap shoot but on some things it can't hurt to have an open mind! Well wrought and congrats on Top Story!!
A lot of wisdom here. The schtick art cracked me up. 😄
Nice
Hey Jay. I'm kinda glad this online dating thing came after I'd made my match. I think the uncertainty of meeting someone in person with no prior knowledge is something the younguns' are missing out on. It doesn't take long to work out if they're not for you. Me and the missus didn't know how to argue, so we didn't, but there were a lot of long silences. In time we worked ourselves out. 37 years later and she still has me locked in. I don't have any secrets to share, except that I try and listen to her. It sounds simple, but it's amazing how often I can be in my own head. Always good to read your stuff.
Aha! Top Story for the JBud with his schtick art and his whimsical spin on life! Nicely done.
J-amigo, this sketch made me laugh so hard, and I can’t stop 😂 Loved this piece so much! A few of my friends have a yearly membership to these sites—find a nice looking man that meets their long list of standards, just to get an inbox full of photos they never asked for. 🤪 At least the women are putting it all out there. No secrets. Haha! I wonder what the ‘me then’ vs. ‘me now’ is about? I actually find it interesting that so many feel the need to do that, like they have to justify themselves as an older woman by saying “look at what’s underneath all the years” Interesting psychological puzzle there. Anyway, I laughed so much at this one! I’m grateful I’ve not had to scour the funny papers for a mate, but I know there are a few diamonds out there—it’s how my sis-in-law met the man of her dreams, and he’s a great catch 🎣. I loved all of your advice, but especially the ‘less is more theory’. Haha! I get myself in trouble with the ‘more is more theory’. 😂 As always, you draw us in with the giggles and then hit us with the wisdom. So much great advice in here and such a fun read! 👏🏽 🩷💫👏🏽
This is too funny, Jay. I will never go on a dating site, that's for sure
Groovy One, Jk - Janet
What up J-Bud Some great advice on dating and past experience with the Mrs. Loved this line: -my motto always was to talk about Lassie or the Weather once the Deals-a-Deal, nothing more.- 👍🏼😄 So glad you're back, friend! L-bud
Definitely one of your best stories to date …!!! GC
It's a real treat to read another observational piece from Jay Kantor. His insights truly hit a chord with me.Thanks, Jay, for putting into words (and illustrations) the puzzling quirks of modern life. Kathy
Good to see you Jay. Great advice - I must admit the people that have the longest wish lists (when it comes to relationships) tend to be the most intolerant and toxic! Love your drawing too.
First, congrats on your TS. What I don't get is why show a picture of a past self that you'll never be again. Work with who you are and what you have not what you were. Okay, soapbox put away.
great
Good to have you back, my friend.