Don't those things have G.P.S.? I don't know what you're so huffy about, Mr. Alien Space Ship Pilot, with your hands on your Hips-'Tude. I can't help it that you steered to the Wrong Planet - You see any 'Glitter' here ~ This isn't HollyWeird..!
THE BIRD WATCHER
~ Audubon Certified Tally Counter ~
'Robin' (not her real name) was taking photos capturing Red-Head-Wood-Peckers hammering away at the horse-posts. I said, "Can’t imagine their headaches."
She laughed!
Then I noticed the worn badge on her very old 'Nikon' camera, and I broke out in a chorus of 'Kodachrome' (by Paul Simon)...She said, "as a matter of fact, I happen to be a recently retired high school music teacher."
So, I said, "Well, how'd I do?"
Ms. Robin said, "I'd probably ask you to Drop-The-Class!"
Pecker Power HeadAches — I do think many of us should practice head-hammering - knock the sense right back into us..!
As a professional 'Schlepper' (Salesman) who Moves his Products as Mom's Schlep the Kids. As a Salesman, it was always essential to first 'Observe' (evaluate) how best to approach a prospect—this obviously has carried into my personal 'Encounters'.
For Instance ~ Always Expect the Unexpected ~
The shiniest big-black-Tesla pulled up to me at the grocery pickup; I gave him a thumbs-up. He quickly acknowledged that "it's the best car he's ever had!"
And, of course, I had to say "Why?" He said, SIMPLY, "all he has to do is get in and set the AUTO-DRIVE and he's on his way."
Once again, I HAD to comment: "You mean that this inanimate metal object - 'IT' - can tell you by observing, even through blackout windows, what may be going on inside the driverless car next to you - everything BUT driving, such as: Smoking Pot or whoever is fiddling around with whom inside.
He said, again, SIMPLY – "Yes, 'IT' can!"
Observed a guy parking by me. He had the biggest Schlong-Schlinging new Cadillac I ever saw; barely got its Tuchus into the parking stall. So, I said,"Ah, back to American Cars!" Smiling, he glanced at my German-Car and said, "Well that's {1} of us!"
As I pulled into the parking lot, I happened to notice a man (our age) with his feet hanging/dangling out of the open door of his brand-new car (it still had dealer tags on it) while taking long drags on a cigarette. I couldn't resist making a comment. I said, "THAT must be your wife's car? This way you're only getting 1/2 of the smoke wafting through that new car smell – Coulda Fooled ME!"
He laughed and said, "YOU NOTICED!"
So, as he was puffing, about (2) parking spaces away from my nose, I asked him, "So, how much do those cost these days?" He told me (+tax) down to the penny. He said he knows this since he does the pricing as the manager of a 'Rite-Aid' store in Simi-Valley.
I said, "I've been hearing about a lot of shoplifting at retail stores, what's that about?" Instantly, he said "we aren't even allowed to approach them."
"But, don't you have guards and security cameras?" Looking straight at me he said, "Of course, but they are only allowed to ask 'Smokers' to leave the store, nothing more."
Mostly 'ODD' to me was his it iz what it iz - matter-of-fact demeanor. So, there you are!
Spotted: Customized truck flatbed, with the 'Carvana' logo slathered all over it, dropping a 'nondescript' gray sedan into our neighborhood. Can't imagine buying a new car like that. 'Carvana' – How Impersonal NO proud Vanity Tags here! Cars have lost their 'Personal' identity, and with that a lot of charm-pride that goes with owning that special one. I suppose everything is leased these days anyway.
— Where's the fun in that? —
Sure, things change. But how could you buy a new car online that's dropped off in your driveway? I can't imagine ever doing anything like that as a self-respecting former 'Gearhead.' No matter what, we'd have to kick the tires and pound on the fender; at least take a big whiff of the new car smell! And, of course, a test drive with the salesman holding on for dear life as I sped through the streets – just checking it out.
Now, which of you admits to having a 'favorite' Unexplainable Encounter, we've all had them..!
Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -
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Jay Kantor
'For The Kids Someday'
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Comments (15)
Such a charming piece! Loved it! 🫶🏾🌸
Great, so interesting story🌸😄
My favorite writer,JK - I already take all my own photos, I never thought I had any artistic ability but I might try to sketch a little. At my age you have to try a little bit of everything before you run out of time. I used to do the thing about hanging my feet out of the new car until I got COPD from smoking those nasty old things. Now I can't stand the smell. What I noticed about retail is the "No Bags" that everyone is going to anymore. I sit in the car mostly since a 2020 unnecessary surgery handicapped me, but that is another story that I will eventually tell. I only know that my husband comes out carrying the merchandise and I say another one not giving bags anymore and he say yep. Also I notice here in Delaware that boarding up of more and more stores and people say I was pessimistic when I wrote in 2021 an article about "The 2030 Greater Depression- fact or fiction. When I wrote it my husband said I was full of doom and gloom now he comes back to the car and says I might have something there. There is no teacher like age, and the people who have lived through several generations and were fortunate enough to see history repeat itself at least once, if you live long enough. Susan Payton Delaware Senior Citizen - New to Vocal in 2025.
I know I’ve sent a response to this piece over text, but had to jump into your comments and say how much of a kick I got out of this one as I re-read it! Your storytelling is so fun— I could read each piece over and over again and still get a good laugh every time. So happy you are out of vocal jail! 😂
Welcome back. I love your story ♦️♦️♦️
Dearest Jay: It's such a pleasure to see you back on Vocal here with us. You were sorely missed while your account was compromised. Hugs, MC <3
J-bud! I've been away for a bit, but I'm glad I found this little collection of encounters. I always get such a kick out of your storytelling! I'm not out and about a lor these das, but I have the occasional chance meeeting, like the woman who dropped a penny at Walmart a couple of days ago and we watched it roll across the strore, then laughed about how money just gets away from us. I told her that hers at least left with some class. Mine just disappears.
Love how you've encapsulated each of these seemingly small interactions in such a beautiful way, Jay! Each little episode blended so well into the next! This was such a delightful read! And loved your description of the old school way of buying a car. Kick those tires good!
Jay, nowadays, I find it difficult to explain any life forms "out there!" I mostly stay home...lol But I don't think I'd ever buy a car sight unseen. I would have to take a drive in it, too. I say that, but I did once buy a house that way with my daughter's help. You are such a people person extrovert.
Jay did it again. This story put a huge smile on my face. I can envision every encounter Jay had with this unusual assortment of characters. Yes, we've all had these unexpected experiences, and they put the spice into our normal routine. Thank you, Jay, for reminding us to appreciate the adventure - Kathy
I know that, as a pastor, my head shouldn't turn this way, but "Pecker Power HeadAches" had me thinking a whole different direction, lol. One of my favorites was on the tailgate of a beat up old pickup truck. A decal of an American flag that said, "These colors don't run!" It was so faded you could barely read it. My favorite of all time was on I-94 heading east out of Bismarck, ND. You know those signs that say "Such & such next X number of miles"? The top part was missing so it literally said, " ' ' Next 120 miles". Yep, that pretty much tells ya all ya need to know about North Dakota, lol.
The chap in chaps at the burlesque event the girls and I went to last night at Hebden Bridge was pretty unexpected... but not unexplainable. The unexplainable part was how the hell he managed to plank on 2 pieces of string like he did. I am clearly still suffering from shock and recency with this answer! A thought provocateuring piece as ever JK! 😁
Well-wrought! My favorite unexplainable encounter happened with my two youngest kids, though, to them, we were likely only watching a movie. You already read this one, Jay, but I leave it here for anyone who is interested: https://shopping-feedback.today/humans/the-good-burger-quandary%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">
Life imitating art imitating the life of JK. ❤️😆
I loved this little slice of Kantor life! And all that art. You're spoiling us, you know! RD - BritBud