Dutch Auction of Post-War Dollar Devaluation.

Livestream of a special auction taking place at Sotheby's in New York, with a cast of famous characters in an event variable in time, dimension and space.

Disclaimer: No US Presidents were assassinated in the making of this programme.

Auctioneer: Our next item for sale is a one-dollar bill dated from 1945. Beautifully printed, presented and preserved this exquisite piece of colourful and variegated historical moola will be a welcome addition to your collection of rarities. Can we start the bidding at face value then? One dollar, one dollar. Do I hear one dollar?

John Maynard Keynes: Certainly not, old chap.

Auctioneer: Aw! C'mon the man from Bretton Woods, I like your pipe but I thought you'd be getting us going. Nice tan, by the way, I'm sure you enjoyed your sunny, summer camp in Tunisia.

Auctioneer: Now, how about you 'Big Bang' Harry? Can we hear 90 cents from Mr President.

Harry Truman: I'd rather kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

Kim Il Sung: We kicked your ass, degenerate imperialist scum.

Auctioneer: Whoah! We have a fight brewing over there. But how about it Mr Sung? What say you to 85 cents chubby little guy in the tunic? I thought you'd go down to the 38th. But maybe take a trip down Fifth Avenue instead and get some cool threads, man. OK! We got some Europeans in here. Over on that side, would you like to bid on those lovely piece of paper? Live a little why don't you? Let's say 80 cents?

Bank of International Settlements: You're cuckoo!

Dwight D. Eisenhower: It's not even worth that thanks to the goddamn Military Industrial Complex

Auctioneer: What are you like Ike? You crack me up. But thanks for the advice. Military Industrial Complex you say? Got a nice ring to it. But let's get serious. Do I hear 70, anyone for 70 cents?

Lyndon Baines Johnson: I'll stay outa the tent. Better to be pissing in than ....

Auctioneer: Thank you. Thank you. LBJ, no need to elaborate. Not even 70 cents then? But congratulations on your promotion anyway. Sorry about your old boss.

Ho Chi Minh: Victory to the people, death to the western capitalist oppressors.

Auctioneer: Wow! Not another one. Incoming! Incoming! The insults are coming in thick and fast. Love those movies dude, even that old one with John Wayne. Could have had happier endings for us folks on the home front you know. You couldn't go to 60 cents could you? No profiteering by us evil guys here in the free world.

Richard Nixon: I saved the dollar you know.

Auctioneer: My goodness. A shock from 'Tricky Dicky'. Thanks for sharing.

Richard Nixon: Worth its weight in gold.

Auctioneer: Mmm! Maybe not, but thanks anyway.

Richard Nixon: I am not a crook.

Auctioneer: No. You're worse than that, you're a politician. But let's move on. Ladies and gentlemen. Let's try 50 cents. Yes folks, a 50% depreciation of the dollar. How about it? But I'm sure it's worth a lot less than that. C'mon guys. No? No takers? Do I hear 40 cents then?

Sheikh Yamani: Not from us, inshallah. 40 of your little cents indeed. You jest.

Auctioneer: Help! Watch out for the Petrodollar! It's the 'Man From OPEC'.

Ronald Reagan: OPEC? No good lousy bums.

Auctioneer: Hey, here's Ronnie Reaganomics. King of the De-Reg. Love your movies too. 'Greed is Good' and all that. Oh, sorry, that wasn't one of yours. Would you not even go for 30 cents?

Bank of International Settlements: You're truly up the creek with no paddles.

Auctioneer: More BIS from Switzerland.

Saddam Hussein: I smell it from you American pig dog.

Auctioneer: Well! It's WMD time. Wallets of Monetary Depreciation. Do you like that one Ike? Thank you General Hussein, or whatever you're called. Where are you hanging around these days? Do I hear 20 cents?

Lehman Brothers: We'll wait it out.

Auctioneer: Sure you will, you Wall Street chumps. As fast as you can say 'Credit Crunch' and pack your bags. Goldman Sachs certainly beat you to the punch on that score. Hit the bricks and 'Adios Bros'. This dollar is plummeting. Can nobody give me at least 10 cents?

Wuhan Institute of Virology: 10 cents we bid.

Auctioneer: HOORAY! At last. Thank you Wuhan. How's the Bat Queen? She sure gave us a green light to print plenty of dough. OK, Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winning bid of 10 cents for this 1945 dollar bill.

Donald Trump: 5 bucks.

Auctioneer; Yikes! That's 5 cents from the man with the orange face. But I'm sorry the bidding is finished.

Donald Trump: 5 dollars I said. DOLLARS! And I'll say when the dollar is finished, not you.

Auctioneer: Sorry? What? Excuse me?

Donald Trump: You heard me, I said FIVE DOLLARS!!

Auctioneer: I don't think you understand the process sir, this is a Dutch Auction, you're supposed to....

Donald Trump: That's swamp talk Gavel Man, Beltway baloney. This ain't happening on my watch. That's a beautiful dollar bill, absolutely the best in the whole world, really wonderful. It's the greatest ever, it really is. It's gonna be huge.

Auctioneer: Sorry folks, actually I've just realised this item has to be withdrawn. We didn't match the reserve price.

Jerome Powell: What? We didn't even set a price.

Donald Trump: Shurrup!, you knuckleheads have caused enough trouble