You're Simply the Best

Dear Everyone,

Bear with me. I want to give you some background context.

I have epilepsy. The seizures that I have had since 2019 wipe my memory, blur my focus, and dim my ability to concentrate.

That's basically everything I need to be a decent writer.

It's been a discouraging struggle trying to find the right medications to prevent these brain reboots.

It's a work in progress.

⚡🫤

I'm bisexual. I was with a woman for 20+ years, until I came home one night to find her dead in her bed. Then, quite unexpectedly, I fell madly in love with a man who is 27 years my junior.

Meeting him was like....

I hate to confess that I have a raging temper. ☹️⚡

Understandably, he can't deal with it when I yell at him.

Our relationship has deteriorated over the last couple years.

Currently, he wants nothing to do with me.

I'm heartbroken. 💔

Then, just two weeks ago, I learned my extreme anger is just one manifestation of mania!

I'm bipolar!! 🤯

🤯💥🤯🤯💥💥🤯

⚡_______________ ⚡

I have no family.

I have no friends.

I do have cats.

⚡😉👍

So, that's me. ⚡😁🖐️

I'm basically all alone in the world right now.

But I do have support.

Guess who's there for me?

⚡🥹🫵

⚡_______________ ⚡

Imagine this...

You are a writer.

Naturally.

You fall passionately in love with someone who is very different from you, in every way.

You explain to your new lover that your passion is writing! ❤️📖✍️

It's Your Calling. 🖊️

How would you react if they told you in response that they don't like to READ?!?

They say, "If you read your story to me, I guess I'll listen."

And then they go back to TikTok.

How would you feel?

⚡_______________ ⚡

He's just not impressed with what I do.

Recently, I was dancing around for days, anticipating the winners of the Sky-ku challenge.

I thought I had splendid entries🌈, especially one. 🤷‍♂️

He never read them.

When I talked excitedly about the Grand Prize being $500, he just rolled his eyes.

I haven't been able to get Disability. {long story} I've had very minimal income since the seizures started.

$500 is a whole lot of money to me!

It's meaningless to him.

Who would have celebrated with me if I had received recognition?

⚡🥹🫵

⚡_______________ ⚡

I want to say a Special Thanks to....

⚡⚡ YOUNG AUTHORS! ⚡⚡

I am making a habit of exploring everything on Vocal's Leaderboard. Only last week, I started checking out all the linked stories on the Raise Your Voice thread.

I've met so many of you that way!

I've been subscribing to authors who are 18-yr-olds, 19-yr-olds, twenty-somethings. I recently made a new friend who is only 16! Some of you 'kids' are subscribing to me. You actually like♥️ my kooky crap and questionable poetry.

What's wrong with you? ⚡🤣

I find it fun to interact here on Vocal with young writers.

The youngest person I know is 30. He likes rap music, not reading.

It's all about personal experience, I guess. As I explained to you, the man I love has no interest in reading either. Sometimes I've cynically thought that none of the younger generation ever picks up a book.

I subconsciously overgeneralized, thinking you all were only interested in short videos.

You imaginative young authors on Vocal ⚡🥹🫵 have taught me otherwise.

You give me hope for the future of the written word.

Thanks. I'm grateful for that.

⚡_______________ ⚡

I have still more gratitude to spill.

⚡_______________ ⚡

Other people are writing letters of thanks to our Vocal collective, but I first saw it done by Hannah Moore.

It was divine timing for me.

⚡_______________ ⚡

It was a dark & stormy night in this house.

⚡⚡⚡⚡

I was pissed off. The new meds had me discombobulated. I was feeling utterly isolated. I was imagining a life even worse than the one I have. I wasn't depressed. Loneliness was aggravating me.

I felt betrayed.

I didn't want to feel the way I felt, but my anger was winning.

I had no one to talk to.

I needed a diversion & music wasn't working.

Where did I turn?

⚡🥹🫵

I started reading the Raise Your Voice thread from the bottom up. That meant starting with Mike Singleton's post, a guy I've admired for years.

I just dived in and started reading.

And subscribing.

I worked my way up through all the links, until I came to Call Me Les and her recommendation.

Les is also someone I've known a long time.

She has a heart of gold. 💛

I click on the link Les provided and it's this 👇....

As I read Hannah's letter to me, I start gasping for breath, like trapped air inside me needed extra force to be expelled. I shook with greater & greater intensity.

It was kinda like being electrocuted without any physical pain.

Here's an odd thing about me...

I don't believe in coincidences.

Scoff at the concept of synchronicity all you want, my dear atheist friends.

I truly needed Hannah's story exactly when I found it!

That desperate overwhelming need to be understood-- it just vanished.

I felt connected again...

... to all of you! ⚡🫵

I wept like a madman.

⚡😭

This recent bipolar diagnosis causes me to question everything.

"Am I overreacting? Am I overthinking again? Is this high too high? Are my lows abnormally low? {Is this story too long?🤣} How much of my mood-swings are manageable? WHAT'S 'NORMAL'?!?!?"

But I experienced total relief.

Unexpectedly, I found what I needed.

And I let go.

It was a looooong time before I stopped crying.

⚡😭😭😭😭⚡😭😭😭😭

⚡_______________ ⚡

This electric steam of admiration is from me to you.

{(Except, Vocal! I'm irritated with you for limiting these letters to only 1000 words. 😉)}

Thank you, One & All.

You're the simply the best.

⚡

_____William Markly O'Neal II⚡

Home is wherever I am with the people I love.

Original story☝️ by ©️William Markly O'Neal II, 2024 - All rights reserved ⚡