What Is the Proper Attitude in Your Relationship With Your Ex-Boyfriend

You had one of those "days": your coffee caught fire, your blouse/shirt you wanted to wear broke, everything went wrong at work/college and then, on the way home, you met by chance with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?

Don't you understand why such an unimportant event still hurt you? Don't you realize why you feel so sad or nervous just because of this little incident? Have you started without permission to remember some happy moments from the past?

Don't panic, it's normal for a date with your ex-boyfriend to affect you to some extent. If you have spent a considerable amount of time with a certain person, if you have shared good and bad with them, you have shared with them at some point everything you feel and think, that person will always be part of you.

His influence will always be present somewhere in you. Your ex-boyfriend shaped you in a certain way because, in a relationship that lasts for a long time, the two adapt their personalities so that they fit in with the other. You may have had a good time together, but what you need to realize is that that period is long gone and will not return, and that person is long gone.

Just as you have changed and may now have a successful relationship, so has your ex-boyfriend changed, grown, and developed, maybe met another partner who has changed him.

If you've thought or thought about "stay friends", stop! Your ex-boyfriend can't suddenly turn into a friend to hang out with a beer and laugh about your current partner! This only happens in movies or in relationships where there was practically no true love and passion.

But if you loved him, it will be impossible for you to see him all at once as a friend! Because, although love is now dead, the memories always live inside you and every time you see him again, you will think of a time or another when you were not just friends!

Of course, there is no need to deny or repress your past, the past has made you what you are today, and with all your small flaws, you must be grateful to them. It doesn't even make sense to regret your past, because you will never be able to change it anyway.

But don't live in the past: avoid meeting your ex-boyfriend and avoid places or things that remind you too much of him/her or your relationship. The important thing is to try to delete the pictures only with you two, those pictures can only harm: harm to your current partner and harm to you because you will begin to remember. What's the point?

Living in the past, thinking about your ex-boyfriend or meeting him affects too many people: first of all, it affects your current partner - how would you feel if your partner met your ex? It affects you, because it stops you from continuing your life, takes you back to the past, and makes you ask yourself unnecessary problems and questions: what would it be like if he or she didn't do this or that?

What matters is how it was, everything that has been gone… It affects the ex-boyfriend in the same way, who will remember him and will go through the same states of sadness, melancholy, or, on the contrary, nerves, and agitation. And it affects the possible current partner of the former. Not that you care!

But why would you risk hurting so many people just because it's hard for you to break away from the past? these thoughts lead nowhere and are not caused by the fact that you would still have current feelings for him, but by remnants of memories and emotions that revive in you… Or, worse, you may think that you liked to see him again, for sure no more feelings for him, but that you enjoy his company and you could be… friends!

Don't be fooled, you will not be able to have a friendly relationship with your ex: you have gone through too many intimate moments together, you know too many secret things about each other, you have felt too many emotions for each other to succeed now in maintaining a simple friendliness!

With a friend you talk willingly and unwillingly, you often talk about your current partner; how to do this with your ex-boyfriend You may say that you know some people who managed to be friends after they ended the relationship. Those people did not love each other, their relationship was most likely one born of physical attraction, resemblance, and the need to be with someone, but not out of love.

Or maybe the reunion of your ex-boyfriend aroused overwhelming feelings of hatred and regret, you wake up hoping that he is not doing well, that he does not have a fulfilled relationship, that he is not happier than he was with you.

This kind of emotion is the riskiest, it means that, somewhere inside you, you have not let go of the whole past, that something has not been completed and you continue to stay connected to the past. Get rid of negative feelings, try to think of yourself as a person who was once dear to you, but is now completely gone.

A dead love must remain dead, with all that entails: the places where the relationship evolved, the physical memories left behind (photos, personal gifts: rings, lingerie, bracelets, watches), and the person you loved. Someone said: the sad man lives in the past, the unfulfilled man in the future, and the happy man - in the present!