What Do Abused Women Do When Their Husbands Beat Them?

What should I do if my husband beats me? Don't play the role of a helpless victim! No matter how cruel it may sound, women who accept the situation of being abused frequently bear some of the responsibility! Unfortunately, the situation is rarely simple: "he beats me, I leave him".

The children, the precarious financial situation, the lack of housing, the relatives to help, the emotional dependence of the woman, the husband's well-behaved promises - all complicate and make it difficult to make a final decision in this situation!

Before you ask yourself, "What do I do if my husband beats me?" Many couples can end up in the first situation: a restless quarrel can turn into a slap in the face… It is not normal, but if it happened once, twice and he regrets the deed and does not repeat it, you can forgive the mistake.

But if you are a regular victim of his aggression, if as soon as a problem arises or he is nervous, you know that he might pour his anger on you, then you have a real problem!

Before suggesting answers to the question "what to do if my husband beats me," we'll outline what (too) often women victims of domestic violence do:

The first time, the very first time it happens, you are shocked and amazed, you don't know what to believe, you tell yourself that it was just a coincidence.

You will find an acceptable explanation so that you can tolerate the situation and it will be easier for you to get over it and continue your life. Especially it is easy for you to forget the incident, because the first time he hits you, he regrets or seems to regret and behaves very nicely.

But after a while, a problem arises, he is very nervous and it happens again! You start to find different explanations for his behavior because through them you justify him, but you also justify yourself and give yourself the explanation for why you stay with him.

You say to yourself: "he was too nervous", "he didn't think rationally", "it was my fault", "I annoyed him, if I take care of him, it won't happen again".

But it is repeated after more or less time. What are you doing? You are afraid or ashamed to talk to someone, because it has already happened a few times and you do not want to ask for any help, thinking that you are just going through a bad period.

So you find other justifications: "he does it out of passion", "other spouses are worse", "at least he doesn't cheat on me", "he treats the little ones nice and is a good father", "he is stressed because only he does money "etc. You always find excuses for unacceptable behavior, but what you know but don't want to admit is that YOU SHOULD NOT ACCEPT THIS STATE OF FACT!

Over time, you get used to it slowly, you learn to recognize his moods, to see when there is a risk of a beating, you behave nicely not to upset him, you listen to everything he tells you, you protect children from his bad passes.

And so, you were trapped until one of the beatings sent you to the hospital bed or hit the children!

What to do if my husband beats me:

It's important: how many times has it happened in the last two months, for example? Only once or is there a "regular schedule"? None of this is normal, but if the behavior is regular, you will not be able to change it and you have to accept that!

Are the beatings against the background of alcohol consumption? If so, does he drink often, and is the (almost) an alcoholic? And in this situation, you have nothing to do and you can't change it. The only chance is to leave him alone and see if in a year he will make changes on his own! He doesn't take his word for it: an aggressive alcoholic can't inspire confidence. So you need concrete evidence that it is changing and time to prove it to you.

Be sure to talk to someone - a relative, a close friend! You need a sincere opinion from someone outside, someone who cares about you because you can never be realistic and objective in this situation and you can rarely make the right decision! Listen to someone who knows you and cares about you!

In the third such incident, you should not be ashamed to ask for help from your family. Because if you stay with him in the house, he will think that you accept, so he will repeat. Your parents, godparents, even his parents, go with the little ones where you can. That's why we have families, so they can help us in bad situations!

What if my husband beats me and I have no close relatives, no friends, no money? If it happened several times, he does NOT stay home, because you encourage him. Go to a care center with your children.

He will most likely come with remorse and promises to change! He did not return home for at least two months and did not believe him at first. This is how you teach him how to do it: he beats you, you leave, he apologizes, you come back, and so on!

If you return home, try not to start a conflict yourself, and even if you have tried not to upset him, he repeats the aggression, you must find a solution to break up! You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.

But you should know that those children raised in an aggressive environment will learn these aggressions, even if they are not the aggressors and even if they only hear the beatings! Do you want your little boy to become his father?

In addition, men who are often aggressive with their wives can turn their aggression on their children at any time! Do you want to expose the little ones to something like that? A breakup can do better: you will no longer be forced to live in fear and frustration, and the little ones will still have a father, whom they will visit, but they will no longer be exposed to risks!