Things I Wish I Had Learned Before High School: Friends and Relationship Edition

During my teen years, I learned several lessons the hard way. Many of these lessons, had I discovered them sooner, would've saved me drama and potential heartache during high school. All of the lessons in this article revolve around friendships and romantic relationships, and most of these lessons have lengthy stories attached to them, but I will be summarizing everything here. If you are interested in hearing any of the full stories, I will be posting them on my youtube channel: E.Branson.

Let's get into the lessons!

1. Everyone is not your friend.

This may seem like a super generic life lesson, but trust me, you don't want to learn this the hard way. As we grow and mature, we begin to realize most people are not our friends, and quite frankly, they couldn't be bothered to care about us or our emotions/feelings. Even those who seem like friends may actually be enemies.

I learned this gem of wisdom during my freshman year of high school. The year prior, in eighth grade, I had developed quite a crush on this boy with who I shared lots of classes. When the ninth grade rolled around, he had moved schools, and I was devastated, to say the least. A girl, let's call her Jenny, was good friends with my childhood best friend, and she had begun hanging out with me and had offered to help me connect with my crush. To make a long story short, she never had any intentions of helping me. Actually, she ended up sabotaging my hopes of ever having a platonic or romantic relationship with my crush.

2. Be Bold. Be Blunt.

Now, as a woman approaching her mid-twenties, I consider myself to be quite blunt and bold regarding my opinions, feelings, and what I want. While some people may think bluntness implies insensitivity — it does not. As an adolescent, I was soft-spoken and often didn't express my feelings, causing myself heartache and pain.

This lesson was learned through many experiences between eighth grade and ninth grade and circles back to my crush from the first lesson. Let's call him Brian. Brian and I had grown close over the course of eighth grade. Although I had feelings for him, I was far too shy and insecure to tell him. My lack of confidence and boldness cost me a potential relationship because later on, I found out that Brian had also had a crush on me, but I sat idly in the corner, doing nothing.

3. Go at Your Own Pace

As many teens do, I felt pressured to keep up with my peers. This was the worst thing for my self-esteem. Why can't I be skinny like her? Why don't boys like me? How does my friend attract so many boys? I plagued myself with insecurity and felt awful because I wasn't as thin or experienced as my friends.

After I learned comparing myself to others would never help, I began to love myself for who I was, and then everything started to fall into place for me. Going at your own pace is important as everyone experiences things differently and at different points of their lives.

4. Choose Your Friends and Partners Wisely

High school is a time of self-discovery for many teens. The experiences you will encounter will help you grow as an individual, as will those you associate yourself with.

My group of friends was not large, but we had our fair share of drama. It felt like every other week, my friends were fighting amongst themselves, and those who weren't involved in the squabble were urged to pick sides. I'm not proud to say it, but yes, I sometimes did choose one friend over the other. Now, looking back on my friend group, some of the girls I was close to were not people I would associate with today — the same goes for prior love interests. Don't get me wrong, I was close to these people and viewed them as good friends, but oftentimes, they acted in ways that should've been red flags.

My junior year of high school, I had finally gotten over my first love and was interested in a new boy. Having learned from my previous mistakes, I was open and honest with this guy about my feelings, and it paid off! The issue however was my friend, who also had a crush on the same guy. My friend and I had decided that if he liked one of us, we would be okay with the other dating him. I made the mistake of trusting her to be a mature person. After I began dating him, she was furious with me and claimed it was because I had "changed" when in reality I was simply happier. We did not speak for a year due to her jealousy.

I hope some of you entering high school or those already in high school will benefit from these lessons and won't make the same mistakes I did. If you want a full story on any of the situations mentioned, let me know, and I'll post them on my Youtube channel.

Thanks for reading!

- E. Branson