There are no Banana's

Gazing out the restaurant window we watched as snowflakes fell like soft wisps of cotton, swirling and dancing to a gentle breeze. The ski runs were going to be perfect. Even with the light dusting of white, the sun managed to shine through.

Sitting across from her I couldn't help but smile, to me she was and still is the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Yet there was a slight hint of a dark side that simmered just below her glowing skin. Not evil, just a hidden shadow that lurked inside. However, I had not yet had the 'privilege' of meeting said shadow, but I was about too.

Leaning back into the cracked and worn vinyl seat of our booth I felt content. The feeling only youth experiences when life’s motto is to live day to day and to hell with tomorrow. Early twenties are a freeing time, believing the world is ours, yet childish innocence still lingers under the veil of reality.

I watched the steam roll over her fingers as she traced the lip of her coffee cup. Glancing up I saw the love in her hazel eyes. A new love, a fresh kind that still holds the belief, that this has to be the best a relationship can get. You know, before time wears us out and the cute things we do turn into the annoying habits that drive each other insane. Or in other words, when life becomes real and fantasy fades away.

We were still in the honeymoon faze; in truth we still are. The difference is we are now comfortable with the difficult times knowing we will get through them together. Yes, we have to confirm it every so often with a well phrased, ‘No way, It’s your turn I cleaned the cat litter last time.’ If the other person then cleans the litter without a word....you're still in love.

Anyway, back to when we were innocent and naively happy, the sun was shining the snow softly falling and we were on a holiday in Banff, Canadas' nature wonderland, ready to enjoy a day of downhill skiing.

The waitress approached our table, an exhausted look on her face as the place was packed, yet she managed a smile as she asked if we were ready to order. We had both decided to have the banana pancakes, isn’t that adorable?

She rushed away to place our order, and we went back to silently staring into each others’ eyes. I mean when you’re in love who needs words.

In moments, our haggard, yet still smiling server returned to fill our coffees and to inform us that unfortunately the kitchen had no bananas. She placed two menu’s back on our table and said she would return shortly.

Like an idiot I began to peruse the menu to order my back up meal. Linda however didn’t move. Her menu remained on the table.

I looked up about to suggest something when out of her mouth came a phrase that should have stopped me like a well-placed warning sign.

“What does she mean they have no bananas?”

Not heeding the warning, I still have trouble spotting these, I innocently answer. “I believe she meant the kitchen has run out of bananas today.”

Now the shadow appeared, hooding her once beautiful eyes with a dark shroud. In a slow yet methodical voice she said. “I know that. What I mean is why can’t someone just go out to the store and buy some. It’s only a block away.”

Still not fully receiving those Spidey senses, I shrugged and spoke. “They must be too busy.”

“No kidding, but we are the customer, shouldn’t they try their best?”

Now this line shocked me, because at the time we were both in the food and beverage industry. We know what it’s like to be run off our feet trying our best to smile and serve. I truly was confused.

Before I could speak she went on a quiet tirade talking to me like I had a say in what transpires in this particular kitchen.

“How hard could it be to just go grab some freak’n bananas (She didn’t swear at this time of our lives that blessing came after we had children).

It was at this moment when I had to make a decision, let this incident ruin our trip. be angry or stay calm and try to move on.

I simply said “Linda, there are no bananas.”

This was the critical moment, what she said or did next would define our relationship and the rest of the vacation. The only thought I had was if this doesn’t work I still have two more days stuck in a mountain resort with a crazy lady.

When the waitress returned, I smiled and ordered the traditional breakfast, bacon and eggs, toast with potatoes. She then turned to Linda. Our future hung in the balance, my throat went dry, my knees began to shake. Not knowing what was going to come out of her mouth. She smiled and replied, ‘I’ll have the same please.’

PLEASE, she said Please....Yes, oh happy days.

Those beautiful hazel eyes returned, her skin still glowed, and her smile melted my heart. As she brought the coffee to her lips I am sure I heard her say under her breath, 'I still don’t see why someone couldn't run to the store.’ Then looking at me she smiled and said, “I know, there are no bananas.”

Now, she says that my calm demeanor defused the situation, that I looked like nothing could phase me and she relaxed in that moment. In truth I was shitting my pants, I had been involved in other relations before but in no way was I an expert on the complex mind and ways of women. I was a child caught in a sudden and unexpected storm.

Our time turned out beautiful. I also learned Linda really didn’t like skiing she just did it for me. It was then we matured from new love to a sustaining relationship. We matured, it felt weird.

It was only years later when we understood more about autism and spectrum etc. Linda doesn’t like change, especially on the spot. Once her mind is made up, she has a tough time adjusting. But she works on it, as I work on my many quirks. We are human after all.

We have been together for many years. Relationships are continuously being challenged and tested. We had our shares of difficulties. I am sure there were times when she looked at me and wondered if I wouldn't look better walking away with a suitcase in my hand.

I do not have any words of wisdom to share or pretend that what we do will work for every relationship, I only know what works for us.

And it is this:

When ever things got too heated and before one of us say something we may regret. One of us will look at the other and calmly say,“There are no bananas."

Meaning this isn’t going to be resolved at this moment, let’s take a breath calm down and revisit this later. It works for us, that phrase has kept us together. Deep down we know we love each other but if something said in anger is blurted out it can never be taken away or forgotten.

We use this line sparingly, like a 'break glass in case of an emergency.' As I mentioned we have been together for many years, and hopefully many more. We will be celebrating 36 years of marriage this October 2024. (We have been together for 38).

She is my, friend, my lover, the mother of our children and editor of all I write. Except this, this I wrote for her.

I know, as time continues to flow forward, we too will age. There will come a day when one of us will unfortunately be without the other. We may find our self alone, staring at an empty chair, hopefully gazing out the window and remembering a day not so long ago when the world was ours.

The phrase ‘There are no banana’s’ will need never be spoken again. I am so grateful for those four words, they gave us a life filled with happiness and joy. Why waste the days we have on frivolous things that really don‘t matter.

Without her, food would be bland, the air not so fresh, life not so fun, the world not so bright. She is the banana on my pancake of life.

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Thank you Linda, for sharing your life with me. I cannot imagine it without you.

Jason