How Life becomes a Bigger one.

John wasn't sure how long he was staring at the picture of his family, when a gentle knock on his office door snapped him back to the real world. Looking up he gave a smile for the two young girls standing in the doorway with mascara stains and trembling lips. Before he could say anything they both ran in, gave him a hug, and left, knowing full well their jobs would be in jeopardy if a certain person witnessed this show of physical touch and personal emotion, now strictly prohibited in the workplace.

He absently set the picture in the box next to his 'Office Father of the year' award, he never realized he became a father figure to the younger generation in the office until they presented it to him. He was embarrassed at first, but it was done in good fun, and he was secretly proud of it. It also reminded him of his age and the passage of time. Wasn’t it just yesterday when he began working here as an intern? This place had become his second home, a place he took pride in every time he walked into these doors. For thirty-three years he watched with pride as the company grew, witness people falling in love and raising a family. He also saw his share of heartache and loss. This wasn't just a place of work it was a village, a family.

However all good things must end, his came in a moment of unchecked emotion, a fraction of time in the grand scheme of things and his career was over. Not for a mistake he made, nor a lack of work effort or being unproductive. No, all because he spoke up for those too afraid or unable to stand up for themselves. In truth he knew the moment he pressed send he signed his resignation. He was already debating when he would submit a formal one anyways, now he needn't bother. The only thing he regretted was, he is less than a year away from early retirement. Now, she made sure to inform him, he was no longer eligible for full pension.

Pausing he took a breath and began to reflect, looking around the room, people gave him sad smiles and tiny thumbs up signs, John knew he would miss all the faces, well all except one.

The company grew from a mom-and-pop business to a full-on conglomerate that impacted and benefitted other business's around the country. The owners realized their business had grown larger than they could ever have imagined and knew they needed an experienced CEO to help continue in the companies future growth and development. From the moment she entered the company, her plans were bold and wild. She promised to change the status quo and improve sales.

There was no boldness, nor wonderous new ideas, it became a sweat shop of white-collar workers ruled by fear, budget cuts and layoffs, and of course the dreaded KPI, Key Performance Indicators, an unrealistic bullshit form of measuring work productivity.

Looking up, from his box of memento’s and office supplies, he wondered how it filled so quickly with items he may never use again. Removing only his family picture and the trophy, he left the rest sit on his desk. Gazing out his window, facing into the bustling room, every head facing downward, lack of eye contact became the norm. He watched her berate another assistant, probably the coffee was too hot or too cold, or not the right mix of soy and oat milk, the frothing too thick or too thin. The poor young thing cowered as she left her office. Tears staining cheeks that no longer puffed up with smiles, running to who knows where.

His eyes locked upon the bombastic boss, and hers locked onto his. A smile of victory creased her frozen features. He just shook his head and wondered how some believe they have the right to belittle others with no remorse. She devoured assistance like a kid eating ice cream on a hot summer day. Her favorite flavor was ego sprinkled with disdain, she would never have it served in a cone of empathy, but preferred it dished in a bowl of deceit.

Chuckling to himself, he recalled the moment he knew his time was finite with the company. It was week two into her ascension as over lord when he received a stern request to be in her office immediately. It was there, he witnessed and realized this was not going to be a cooperative working relationship. He was berated in front of the owners and another manager. The reason, he had forgotten to finish off an email to her with the words 'Thank you.'

In stunned silence as his world spun out of control, he desperately tried to understand just 'what the fuck ' was happening. He was once more stunned to hear her request that he send an email of apology to her. He knew it would be a cold day in hell before he sent that. It was with satisfaction that he walked out of the room with out saying a word. Their relation spiraled from there. She would only share things with him on a need-to-know bases and usually too late.

But, what happened this morning was the poisoned icing on a moldy cake. John found himself unable to silently tolerate her grating style of abuse to those around her. So, he sent off an email to the owners and the entire leadership group spelling out his professional opinion of this person. With a list showing productivity decline and high employee turnover and sick day usage since her arrival. He was immediately embarrassed once he hit send, it was unprofessional. Therefore, he was not shocked when he received a meeting request with HR, who specified the details of his immediate release. No one says fired anymore.

From his peripheral vision he saw a shadow block out the light, glancing up he saw it was her standing in his doorway.

John nodded. “Tara.”

Without saying hello, she spoke. "Have security check your box before you leave."

Shaking his head he held up the two items in his hand. "This is all I need. The box is all yours."

"Ok, look normally you would have been escorted out immediately but as a show of respect, I allowed you time to clear out your items. But you really should be on your way."

Shaking his head in disbelief John's only reply was. ”I am aware that I am not one of the new generational entrepreneurs, but common decency and listening to others doesn't cost anything. I don't need to push people down to feel better about myself, only bullies do that. I had a good life here, but the moment I leave, my life becomes a bigger one. This job does not define who I am. That would be sad.”

Tara's face reddens as John pushed past and left the room, preparing to exit the office for the last time.

Approaching the elevator doors, he heard his name being called. Turning around he watches as Tara slowly strides forward, stopping directly in front of him.

John looked into her eyes, he may have been mistaken but there was a sadness with in, perhaps a longing for understanding. He realized how it must be for a woman who worked her entire life and not be recognized. Perhaps she had to work harder than...

He never finished that thought, because at that moment she chose to speak. "You are an over the hill privileged white male has been. The owners insisted I keep you around, but this decision is all mine. I hope that when I am your age I will know when to walk away and quit. If you have an urge to feel useful, go become a Wal-Mart greeter. As far as I'm concerned, in this office there is no place for your emotional pampering ways of leadership, in todays world survey numbers rule. You questioned me every time I implemented something. I should have fired you on day one."

The room became silent and felt as barren as a good idea from Tara, the only sounds came from shuffling feet of the staff holding up their phones, trying to get a better angle as they recorded the scene.

The entire room held their breath, waiting for his reply. John reflected on her words and couldn't fully deny her accusations regarding 'the privileged white male', there is a truth to that statement. However, there was no point in mentioning that he was forced to grow up at fourteen to take over the farm after his father committed suicide, or because he couldn't afford University he had to work his ass off to get where he is today. Well maybe not today, being fired isn't the best example of showing where he is. However, he acknowledged that being male and in the time he was born clearly was a benefit. He would be a fool not to notice, but he would not apologize for his life.

Silence hovered in the room like a catholic confession gone bad. Pressing the elevator button. John turned to address her. "I am sorry you feel that way, as for me I find you one of the most amiable persons I have ever worked for, and feel you are a wonderful leader who has an acute understanding of her employees needs, with a keen grasp on the fundamentals of this job. Furthermore, I like and respect you."

The soulful ding announced the arrival of the elevator.

Tara stood like a deer in the headlight, clearly not expecting that type of rebuttal. John, softly steps into the car and presses main lobby before the door closes he looks up and says one last thing.

"Tara, besides experiencing a feeling of trepanation in my brain every time you speak. I believe there is a strong possibility that we are both incorrect in our last statements and assumptions of each other".

The look on her face made John's departure all the sweeter but it was the sounds of laughter as the doors slid shut that brought him closure. Especially since he knew it would take a while before she understood the insult.

Thank you,

Jason

This is loosely based on the last few years of my employment. The work environment became toxic. The story itself is fictional but imbedded with some truth. I did not get fired but left and took early retirement. I used literary freedom within the story, to include experiences of others and not just my own.

I recently discovered the entire division I helped build across Canada has since been completely shut down. A waste of many good people.

However: The part about the absent 'Thank you' in an email is 100% true. (And no, I did not write an apology)