The Unspoken Reality of Pet Ownership

Most people consider the puppy stage to be the most challenging. With ‌the challenges of crate training, potty training, and behavioral issues, owners find themselves overwhelmed by the responsibility to raise a puppy. While puppy behavior is aggravating to navigate, they end, and the family can fall into a comfortable routine, with the puppy learning the habits and schedules of its owners. Pets have become a part of the family, integrating into daily life, holidays, and special occasions. Pet owners feel that they cannot imagine life without pets. Their existence alone enriches our lives, but we can also start taking them for granted.

You cannot share your life with a dog … and not know perfectly well that animals have personalities and minds and feelings.

Jane Goodall

As pets age, they begin a slow and almost imperceptible regression to puppy-like behaviors. Once they pass “middle age,’ a downhill trend begins, and most owners do not even notice it. Some will begin to have occasional accidents around the house, and they might be less interested in playing and sleeping. Thus, they may have become less tolerant or confused. Typically, easygoing, laid-back pets may react aggressively when startled. For experienced pet owners, they recognize this decline as the beginning of the end, and know the days with their precious companion are limited, and things will only get worse from here.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.” Anatole France

Older pets require the same level of care as puppies or kittens do. When cognitive function begins, they can develop symptoms of dementia, forgetting when they have been fed or when family members are leaving or arriving home, growing confusion around daily life, and sleep disturbances. When my elderly dog started showing his cognitive decline, he lost track of time and would grow panicked if he believed it was his dinner time, and no one fed him. He also started pacing around the house and did not have a regular sleep pattern. I had to start giving him melatonin, so he would sleep. During his final days, he also had extreme anxiety and was in a constant state of trying to find a “safe place” in the house, which for him meant my bathroom. He would clamber in and get stuck because he could not climb out.

It is never easy to decide when to let a treasured pet go, and no matter when you choose, doubt will always surface, telling you either waited too long or acted too soon. After he was gone, I felt that my life no longer had meaning. I missed him on a level I could not even describe. His loss is something I will never get over as long as I live. Some of me went with him when he died. Upon reflection on the final days of Baxter’s life, I realize how horrific it was for both us. His mental condition prevented him from being able to rest and relax and caused him to exhibit attitudes that were completely out of character for him. Events of his life before me left deep and permanent scars, and his diminished mental abilities magnified their effect.

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”

Roger Caras

It was heart-wrenching to watch the dog I had known and loved for 15 years disappear and be replaced by a confused and aggressively reactive dog. Watching him day after day ripped my heart to shreds. I was in an impossible situation, deciding when to let him go, knowing my life would be forever changed by his absence, and waking every day wondering what fresh horrors the day held.

“Pets are humanizing. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life.”

James Cromwell

When you bring a new dog into your life, you never think about having to let them go one day in the far future. It never occurs to you that they will age and deteriorate, becoming an individual you have never know. They become integral part of our lives, carving out their special place in our hearts and even death cannot remove them. Having a pet is mixed blessing. We love and treasure the time we spend with them, but mourn greatly when they reach the end of their lives. I would not trade a single experience I had with Baxter to escape the sadness I now have. No other pet will match his uniqueness or replace him.

That’s all for now, I’m just here trying to change the world one story at a time!

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© Sarah Tagert 2025