The Art of Being Thankful

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and we all have at least one thing that we're thankful for. The past six years has been difficult for me: struggling with mental health issues and homelessness, the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic, the death of my beloved grandfather, and dealing with self-doubt and self-esteem issues. Despite all of this, I've managed to persevere and overcome those obstacles. In this story, I'm going to share some of the things that I'm thankful and also grateful for.

• 1. Thankful to be alive

The past several years has been a rollercoaster to me. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in early 2012. Six years later, I had a mental health episode, which at that moment, thought I was going to die. Plus, I expressed many times on how I wanted to end my own life, because I was concerned about my future. Not only that, but I was homeless and jobless at the time, which lasted six months before turning things around. During the Covid-19 pandemic, my mental state was even worse. I was on a paid leave of absence from my job, which I was still getting a paycheck every two weeks. So, that's at least good news. Being away from work and my colleagues for a year and a half took a physical and emotional toll on me. I've dealt with a period of loneliness and didn't attend conventions for almost three years. Unfortunately, thoughts of suicide crept right back into my mind. I thought of self-mutilating myself. Thankfully, I didn't go through with it. 2021 was around the time I talked openly on social media about my mental health struggles. Life is never going to be easy or perfect. We all have to doing a bit of struggling in order to overcome barriers. Our struggles are our biggest lessons. In the case of me, I felt like a guardian angel was looking over me the entire time. In fact, it saved my life. All we can do is be grateful and thankful of the now.

• 2. The essentials

Food, clothes, and shelter are the three things I'm grateful for. They're necessary in order for us to live and maintain our lives.

3. Supportive and loving people in my life

I'm grateful and thankful for the friends and people who have loved and supported me throughout the years. Last month, I retired from cosplay after 10 wonderful years of cosplay fun. It has been an amazing journey: attending conventions and meeting some great people. I'll always be part of the cosplay community and will attend conventions here and there, but as a former cosplayer. Most of these people are still my friends to this day. They've taught me so much and will be forever grateful for them. They love me unconditionally and accept me for who I am. Since coming out as gay in 2012, I've weathered many storms, and I only focus on the ones who have loved me, no matter what.

4. My hobbies and interests

My hobbies and interests are an extension of who I am. It's part of my own identity and personality. Those interests include cosplay, nostalgic topics (e.g. retro video games, movies and tv shows from the 80s and 90s, fashion), and baseball. We all have our own tastes, so I don't judge anyone who likes things that people might consider as "weird". I don't like using the word weird in a negative way. I prefer to use the term unusual. I post a mix of all of the aforementioned hobbies and interests. If you are or have been following me on social media for a period of time, the interest I post about the most is baseball. I mostly follow MLB, specifically my amazing team, the Texas Rangers. I've been a die-hard fan of the Rangers for almost 25 years. For those reading this story for the first time, I grew up in a large Texas town called Arlington, which is west of Dallas. You probably have heard of it. It's the home of the Rangers and also the Dallas Cowboys. I attended my first Rangers game in 2001 at age 13 where they played at their old ballpark at the time. Back then, it was called The Ballpark in Arlington. It was such an amazing experience and that was the night I became a Rangers fan. The love that I have for my team has never waned. Last year, I experienced them winning their first ever World Series title. They were close of accomplishing this back in 2011, with them being one strike away. 12 years later, I never thought I'd see the Rangers win it all. That night, I recorded a reaction video of Josh Sborz getting the final out and I shouted in excitement. I was crying happy tears for over an hour. It was the best night ever and will never forget it. Win or lose, I'll always support my team. I hope to attend a Rangers game again in the future at their new ballpark, which is now called Globe Life Field and has been opened since 2020. That's currently on my bucket list.

• 5. My job

My current job pays all the bills in my household. It's a job that I've had for the last six years and the colleagues I work with are amazing. We support one another and are a tight knit group. Most people hate their jobs and the people they work with. Not me, because the work that I do is great and also rewarding. I may not be making $100,000 a year, but at least I have a job that I enjoy very much.

So that's the list of things that I'm grateful and thankful for. For the longest period of time, I used to worry about everything.

"What would happen if this happened or what if that happened? What would people think about me?"

I try to remain calm and remember that everything will be okay. Sure, I might go through a series of disappointments, but that's part of life. I have to be confident in myself and also, tell myself that I love me. I've experienced highs and lows throughout my life. However, I never gave up wanting a better life for myself. I am a blessing and so are you. You have been brought into this world to do amazing things for yourself and others. I'm blessed to have people and the other things I've described on this list. However, there's only one person that I thank for always being by my side and that's the good Lord above. I thank God for loving me as I am. I know that I make mistakes, but I know that He will guide me to become the best version of myself. I'm no saint and don't pretend to be, but I thank God every day for each day and seeing another year, since I recently celebrated a birthday. I know many people are not blessed with having supportive people in their lives, especially during the holidays. My parents and I have been estranged for over 13 years. They have since disowned me, all because I'm gay. They don't and will never deserve me. I'm focused on having positive people in my circle. If you're part of the LGBTQ+ community and have been disowned by family and/or friends, remember that there's people out there who deeply care about you and loves you as you are. I love you and accept you just the way you are. It may sound cliche, but it's true. I hope you overcome any barriers and live the life that you want. Surround yourselves with people who will love and accepts you unconditionally.

Share in the comments some of the things that you are thankful for. Please subscribe to my page on Vocal for more stories. Follow me on my socials and kindly leave a one-off tip at the end of this story. They support creators like me and encourage us to write more stories. Have a great Thanksgiving and a safe holiday season.