It's not my story anymore

There's a Taylor Swift song called the Manuscript it's about closing a Dark chapter of one's life. Or any chapter for that matter. I wanted to write about this because I think it's important to realize that yes while the things I write about on here are personal and about things I have dealt with. But that does not mean I am that person forever. I'm not the girl I was 5 years ago or even last year. I am NOT the niave women I was back then. I know better now. MUCH better. In fact I cringe at the person I was. I will NEVER tolerate the shit I did back then.

I'm rewriting my story one day at a time, I got the degree a person told me i wasn't smart enough to get. In fact i'm getting two degrees! I'm a few months away from getting my bachelors. I'm actually smart! I'm on the way to get my masters next. I'm figuring that out as we speak. When I listen to the manuscript I get chills, i get chills because I can relate to closing a chapter, as a writer I use it to work through things sometimes and I am all about sharing my experiences to help others. I plan on continuing to do so, and i will do so!

I will continue to write and podcast and use my voice to help others. I will NEVER go back to the person I was back then. I'm not even in that headspace :) I'm proud of that! I can't even imagine going back to the shit i tolerated. I do not deserve what I had. Not even in the slightest. I deserve so much better. So ladies don't settle for anything less then you deserve. Call yourself higher. Call people out if they aren't giving you what you deserve in a relationship. Don't sell yourself short. I can tell you life is so much better when you know what you deserve and what it is that you want in life. Having been through hell, I can tell you that the work is hard but when you get through it's lovely. I'm a much more peaceful person now but I know what I want and won't settle for less. I tell people off and let them have it if I am not happy with them. In fact once I was talking to a guy and he legitamately said "I would have taken you out for valentines day because I was lonely" I read him the riot act :) We don't talk anymore. I deserve someone SO much better! Maybe someday I'll write a book about the men I've talked to over the years and the things they've said. YES I've talked to men and tried to get back out there because I WANTED TO and deserved it. But I deserve more then what a typical man can give me. So I will not be settling or letting anyone in who doesn't deserve it.

If you don't know how badly men have treated me over the years read my books and articles. I'm over it. But I don't regret writing things and sharing my experiences to help others. It's my job :) And it will continue to be as I get deeper into my life as a mental health professional. I know my story can help a lot of people, i know it can be a surivival guide for many. BUT there is one very important factor here that i think we need to remember: But the story isn't mine anymore.