satire
Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.
The Mountain Cat Who Sought To Become Queen
There once was a tigress from Aberdeen who moved along the creeks way, when along flew a raven from a place unseen, who planned to steal her day. He landed upon a pole when flying became old, not knowing what more to do. So he hopped just above her, opening his cranky mouth just to inquire of what was new.
By H.L. Dowless8 years ago in Humans
How to Be a Jerk!
(The following story you are about to read is true. Only the names, places, cars being driven, the times, the order of events, the things said, the reasons why they were said, thoughts and where it has taken place were changed to protect the innocent.)
By Maurice Bernier8 years ago in Humans
Matrimonial Machinations
Matrimonial Machinations "If you had listened to me, we would have been here on time!" Lena snapped as she struggled to adjust the sash on her coral sundress. Edward freely exercised his right to remain silent. Thirteen years of marriage had produced four wonderful children, along with enough arguments to last a lifetime. He knew that they had a snowball's chance in hell of winning $200,000 on the latest reality show, Love and Marriage, but it was worth a shot. Edward could only hope that the other couples would make them look like the Ozzie and Harriet viewers were looking for.
By Michael Lenzy9 years ago in Humans
Internet Dating Makes James Van Der Beek Cry
Before this seems like I’m going off on some rant about internet dating and how shit it is—I’m not. I’ve done it quite a bit for the last few years—mixed results mostly (partially because I never know what the fuck I want exactly)—and I have met some nice people. I’ve also met some complete loons as well… but I guess at least I have stories.
By Caroline Egan9 years ago in Humans
3 Signs To Show You're Comfortable In Your Relationship
It is no surprise that when we enter a new relationship we try to be the greatest versions of ourselves. We try to give only the best impressions to court our future significant other. It’s only human. However, a few months down the line amidst the talks about future plans and how many puppies you want, there are some façades we just cannot help but drop. Nothing screams love and affection more than casually letting bodily functions do their thing, or letting the leg stubble do the talking after a few days. Here are 3 things to show that your relationship is reaching a new level of comfort, and why it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
By LJ Chaplin9 years ago in Humans
Why Are Old People So Freakin' Mean?
I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in suburban New Jersey, half-working, half-surfing the web, half-stuffing my face with a delicious piece of goat cheese topped multigrain toast. Like any normal human, I survey the people around me, casually ease-dropping. The shop consists of a handful of girls about my age (mid 20s), all sitting separately, typing away on their computers, a young couple chatting away with the barista at the counter, and a mother and a daughter sitting directly in front of me. The mother is probably in her 70s, daughter in her late 40s, early 50s, and the mother is a complete freakin' bitch.
By Emily McCay9 years ago in Humans
Don't Touch My Stuff!
Quietly, with absolutely no fanfare or public announcement, I have declared, “War”! I admit that I have a mild propensity to let things pile up. Horizontal surfaces around the house provide opportunities for temporary storage, even if temporary can stretch into months or even years. My wife, on the other hand, does not share this inclination. Indeed, she is, what I refer to as, a clutter Nazi. She does not allow, permit, condone, or begin to understand, “temporary storage until I can review later”. She does not tolerate disorganization.
By Victor Acquista9 years ago in Humans
52 Ostensibly Terrible Date Ideas I Haven't Yet Road-Tested with my New Girlfriend
This list is dedicated to my actual, real life girlfriend. Who I wouldn't subject to any of these things, but who I am greatly indebted to for all of the times she's laughed at my crappy jokes.
By Kieran Atkins9 years ago in Humans
