humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
The Vomit Diaries
Like my siblings and my daughter, I am prone to travel sickness. I think my siblings have largely grown out of it, but I still get it. My daughter and I dosed up on travel sick pills on our recent trip on the Spirit of Tasmania (our first time on a ship) which did the trick for us. But it got me thinking about my vomit history.
By Anne van Alkemade3 years ago in Humans
Pointless Theatre Kid Anecdotes: Making Dust Fly
Behold! A new article series! Pointless Theatre Kid Anecdotes is very much what it says on the tin: stories from my dramatic escapades, theatrical and otherwise, which I share because I feel like it...and no one can stop me.
By Frank Macaluso3 years ago in Humans
The Not-So-Easy Side Hustle
We all want it. The quick and easy ‘how I made 10,000 in 30 days’ side hustle. You see ads everywhere promising the unimaginable, making thousands of dollars with no time, money or effort. We know in our heart of hearts this is too good to be true, but yet we believe it. We believe that if we click on a post they will tell us the secret to becoming rich. My question is: if it were true, wouldn’t everyone be rich?
By Kristi Flowers4 years ago in Humans
Chronicles of a County Deputy
“CLICK!” I heard as my service weapon ran dry. Hot sweat clouded my field of view as I crawled backwards, keeping my weapon aimed downrange. I was out of time. I had nothing left to do but say a final prayer and shout “PARTNER!” as loud as I could in hopes that my field training officer would grab me by the collar and pull me from this burning apartment building, saving me from my first gunfight and fire.
By Kyle Maddox4 years ago in Humans
The Joy of Yelling at Objects. Top Story - July 2022.
I got up earlier than usual the other morning. As I stumbled aross the bedroom floor on my way to coffee, I saw the scale just sitting there. Oh okay, what the hell, I thought. I stepped on it, still bleary-eyed, but as soon as I looked down I became wide awake with rage.
By Daphne Faye4 years ago in Humans
Daily Reflections
06/26/2022 Brahman Noodles Some time ago, I found myself in the middle of that most stereotypical of impoverished collegiate stereotypes, making Ramen for dinner. Again. It strikes me as only mildly funny that my generation has recently become enamored with the richer and more storied actual origins and process of making real ramen. Much in the way that our obsession with charcuterie has been to justify our nostalgia for Lunchables.
By Andrew Rockman4 years ago in Humans
My Most Popular Article Ever
Author's preface: I was futzing around in Google Maps a few days ago and stumbled across a section which listed a number of reviews I had written of different locations I had visited while using Google's wildly popular mapping software. There were a grand total of six of these reviews, which, ironically, was exactly six more than I remembered having ever written. The page view stats for each were also listed. To my great surprise one of my reviews, for a small business in the town where my parents live, had 2036 views. This is >1000 more than any other single article I have yet published on the web (~2,500 in 5 years writing regularly or semi regularly). The business is known as A Yarn Crossing. To give just a bit of context, A Yarn Crossing is a store I would never, ever, even consider visiting, were it not for my mom and her interest in knitting, and my need for a last minute Mother's Day gift. I am not sure if I should be happy or terribly depressed that the piece had so much interest. It was intended to be a parody of an actual review, but, given the many comments people made in reply, I am fairly certain most people did not take it as such. The events did happen exactly as I describe them, but my own reactions of dismay and upset are greatly, greatly exaggerated as is the earnestness and seriousness of the tone of the article. In any event, without further ado, but with a totally unnecessary add on introductory sentence intended only to pad my word count so that I can hit the Vocal.media mandatory minimum of six hundred, I present to you A Yarn Crossing, the Google review. Unfortunately, that waste of space and time only brought me to five hundred and thirty five words, necessitating the addition of yet more filler material. Sorry about that. Blame Vocal.media and their terribly, terribly, terribly, stupid policy. Damn, only five hundred and eighty. How the f*&ck hard can it be to write six hundred G*! D&*n words. WTF? Oh, there we go. Phew....
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Humans
The Body Wants Sex, The Heart Wants Love, But my Soul needs Peace.
I'm having a day! I woke up this morning and my account was overdrafted. If you are one of my followers, you know that I am sober. One of the most underrated aspects of sobriety is the peace that comes with not lying to people, not stealing from friends or family. No lawyer, probation officer or cop is looking for me. I owe no one money. It's quite a lovely existence actually. I'm almost 52 years old. I'm not in high school. I'm done with drama - for real. I should've been done with it years ago, but I was an addict. No one has more drama than an addict - it's just the way it goes. I got sick of my own drama, so I'm sure as shit not putting up with yours. Like I said, I'm having a day. I'm done with one-sided friendships, drama queens, energy vampires, and needy girls. I'm almost 52, but please don't wait until your as old as me to hear this - no amount of money, no one person, no job, is going to bring you peace until you are at peace with yourself.
By Susan Eileen 4 years ago in Humans
