humor

"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "

Play Dead
“I feel like a bag of smashed a**holes.” Tony’s raspy voice tumbles off the bed and rolls down the hallway to the living room where his roommate sits.
By Rebecca Jimenez4 years ago in Humans
Who are you at the supermarket
I'm an avid street photographer, which is really code for "I'm an avid people watcher." Few things can rival looking at people and imagining what their story is. Perhaps the only thing that could top that is is looking at people and knowing exactly what their story is. So, to correct myself, it's people judging, not people watching that I indulge in on a regular basis. It's terrible, I know, but unavoidable, especially at the grocery store. If I see you pushing a cart filled with Wonder Bread, orange soda and Cocoa Puffs, I expect to see you and your toothless brood at a monster truck rally. If I see you buying duck breast, an artisanal jar of pickled beets and kombucha, I know you probably work as an Instagram influencer and that you could and probably do talk forever about food trucks.
By Daphne Faye4 years ago in Humans
On the Tip of My Tongue
What does summer taste like? Is it sticky, multi-colored popsicles? Or gushy, still-melting and yet crunchy crumbling smore's? Does it taste like the watermelon you ate on the porch with your siblings when you were twelve? Maybe something savory on the stove-top that was worth the way it made the season's heat unbearable? I don't know. I thought about it for so many days and couldn't quite decide until I stood before the unforgiving light and subtle judgement of a fridge open too long. Then I had my answer as my eyes rested on the inconveniently tall red-and-white pressurized containment device labeled: Heavy Whipped Cream.
By L. Sullivan 4 years ago in Humans
Grabbing That Last Slice of Summer
When I think of the perfect summer food nothing jumps out as more iconic than Pizza, Yes... Pizza. “But pizza can be enjoyed any time of year?” I hear you say.
By Ryan Wilkins4 years ago in Humans
Sometimes Life Is Just a Barn Full of Bull Crap
The Playstation 2: a shining, monolithic, matt black box of endless possibilities to the twelve year old mind. The wondrous console symbolized more to me than just Sony’s flagship gaming console during the early to mid 2000s. It was a vehicle to vivid dreamscapes, a one way ticket to countless worlds for exploration, and a stark departure from the red-hatted plumber my brothers and I had grown up placing on the same childhood pedestal of admiration and endearment as Mr. Rogers.
By Henry Shaw4 years ago in Humans
Dear Xylo (Issue #3). Top Story - June 2022.
Dear Xylo is an advice column published weekly. Xylo is an expert at nothing, yet answers questions on every topic. Sometimes he is spot on and other times he's dead wrong - that's the chance you take with Dear Xylo.
By Rick Henry Christopher 4 years ago in Humans
A Love Letter to Iced Lattes
To my dearest Iced Latte, My sweet, tender love. It’s been some time since we last spoke. Too much time, perhaps. Yet your gorgeous shades of brown, delicate curves and icy embrace are still so intricately engraved into my mind, and I shall forever cherish the memories of those warm summer days we shared together.
By J. R. Lowe4 years ago in Humans
How I Became A Dental Assistant Overnight
I have always sort of stumbled my way through life, never knowing what I wanted to do or how I wanted to do it. Never knowing if I’m good at anything because I’m too afraid to really try. I had a tough time in high school, it was a wonder I even graduated, so I wasn’t exactly looking to dive right into college. I took a year to fuck around and sort of do nothing. I was dating a guy who was all wrong for me, I was still living at home, working at the Olive Garden as a hostess. It didn’t take long for me to figure out food service and hospitality wasn’t my calling, so I reluctantly went to Community College the next year to start an Associate degree in Human Services. I guess I have always had an interest in trying to help people. More specifically, I cared about equality, fairness, kindness. I had, and still have, no idea how to help myself, let alone other people.
By Laura4 years ago in Humans
The Name
The Name From this point on I have not said what this girl’s name was and I guess I thought that I would be protecting her from me writing about her, but I realize that there is no way that she would even be reading these stories so there is no reason why I can’t at least post her first name on here. This girl’s name that has completely taken me away to dreamland is Jackie. She was perfect in every sense of the word. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a slender figure. Her skin looked soft as silk and her smile could brighten up anyone’s day. She also either maintained a tanned physique or it was natural. When she walked into a room, everyone took notice. Jackie was my age so I should have been able to just walk up to her and “shoot the breeze”? No, I don’t think that would be possible. Jackie wasn’t a snob like most other girls in the school. She actually was someone who you could walk up to and start talking to, however, that person was just not me. I didn’t know how to do that, plus her boyfriend probably would have pounded me to the ground if I even attempted to try and do that.
By Patrick Bramer4 years ago in Humans
Memes
Memes have been in my life since I was in Grad-School they've given me many laughs and even taught me things. So here's my take on Memes and what they did for me.
By RJ4 years ago in Humans
Bomb Pops Away!
Let's talk about conditioning. You know what I mean: the Pavlov's dog type of thing. But I'm not talking about dogs. I'm talking about American kids and ice cream trucks. If you can resist that wonky tune as it grows closer on a hot summer day, then your local ice cream truck guy was a lot less skilled than mine was. I was carefully conditioned to a specific response. A response that was so ingrained that even years later it could override all bonds, including the bonds of marriage and basic human decency. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
By Nichole Bonham4 years ago in Humans
Why Can't Men Stop Staring At Our Boobs?
What is with the guys who can’t look you in the face because their eyes are glued to your breasts? Or worse — what is with guys who do the darting thing, where their eyes bounce up and down like ping pong balls while they’re talking to you because they’re trying to sneak a look at your boobs (which are nothing but clothing-clad mounds of fat and glandular tissue, by the way. Imagine a stick of butter wearing a t-shirt. Same difference). Seriously, guys like that give me vertigo.
By Bev Potter4 years ago in Humans