humanity
For better or for worse, relationships reveal the core of the human condition.
Sweet Corn, Watermelon, and the Grand Orchestration
I was so upset when I "had" to move from upstate New York to southern Pennsylvania. I put had in quotes because it is true that we always have a choice but at the time, my options seemed incredibly limited. I moved here in March and I could not wait to escape. For 3 months straight, I kept trying to devise a plan that would take me back to New York and let me start living the life that I thought I wanted...
By Dream Silas5 years ago in Humans
Rock-Bottom Redemption
So let me backtrack and continue with this story. The kept on with the emotional and physical abuse. Kept on with the cheating and manipulation. I was done. After he moved all of my belongings from my apartment into his side girls house, drained my bank account, tore my truck up, and got me with no place to live, I was done. So I went and stayed with his momma. I had mason and this was the beginning of June. He had planned to come get him on Wednesday June 10th after I had went to work. Well the Tuesday before, he decided to pull a stunt that ended bad for the both of his. He kidnapped my son. I pull up in the driveway of his mommas apartment and all I hear is “he’s got mason! He’s got mason! “. At this point I black out. He goes to pull out the driveway and so I block him In. I get out to get my son and noticed that my child was not restrained in a car seat. He’s 2 years old. I was livid. He then proceeds to take off around my car and hit the front bumper of my vehicle. So what do I do? Well I’ll tell you this, I didn’t sit around and wait on anybody else to do anything. I went after him. No sooner than I got up behind him, he slammed his brakes and my car made contact with his truck. So now not only am I broke and without a place to live, I’m also in jail. I get bonded out and my mom had went and got emery custody of my son. I had to go 2 whole months without laying eyes on my child. Mental breakdown check? I was having 4 a day. It finally gets to the point where I can see my child and I finally got custody back. Me and his dad are on a no contact order which is great because he cannot be around me. When I say God works in miraculous ways, I mean it. When I say there is a way out? I mean it. I am now fully employed as a grill cook in franklin, have my custody rights back, my license back, a brand new car, and I just signed the lease on a house for me and my son. All within 5 months time. You can do this. There is a way up from rock-bottom. I’ve been there plenty of times and I somehow still manage to crawl my way out. It’s not over. You still have fight left in you. I know you may feel like staying in bed all day and don’t wanna put the energy into getting up. I totally get that. That was me. But don’t give up. You’ve got people watching you all around. You’ve got people rooting for you no matter what you might think. Fix your crown darlin.
By Shelby Creek5 years ago in Humans
Rock-Bottom Redemption
This is for all the young girls who feel as if there is no way out. You’ve hit rock bottom and you feel like you keep getting pushed farther down. You feel as if you can’t breathe with all then overwhelming stress and anxiety. Let me give you a little bit of advice. Never go back. I was with the father of my son for 7 years. Dated ever since I was 15 and I am currently 22. Everything was good for about a year or two until I started seeing the repetitive signs of cheating and manipulation. For me, however, there was no way out. Or so I had thought. My mother had recently moved to Texas and I had no other family that wanted me around. I was stuck with the decision between staying or becoming homeless. So I stayed. Summer of 2019 I became pregnant. It wasn’t planned but not one bit regretted. The mental and emotional abuse started right after I gave birth to a beautiful 8lb 9oz baby boy, Mason. Everyone knows what it’s like when you have a baby. You don’t feel secure in your new “Mom Bod”. You feel disgusting. You feel like a kangaroo with a pouch just hanging around. I wouldn’t give it up. I wouldn’t get close because he never once made me feel secure or pretty. So here comes the cheating. I knew about it. I let it happen for the simple fact that, he told me, “I have to get it from someone because you’re not giving it to me”. In my head after being with him for 4 years I thought he was right. It’s my fault so I shouldn’t be mad. Mason is about a year and a half at this point. I leave. I get a restraining order and emergency custody order put into place and I’m gone. He still seen his child on the days he was court ordered. Everything was running smooth. Well, January of 2020, my life shattered in the blink of an eye. My father had passed away. We had a rocky relationship so it hit me harder than it hit anybody else. I was in a weak spot. I didn’t know what I needed. You know how people try to weasel their way in knowing that you will be easily manipulated? Well that’s what happened. My sons father was there when my dad died and I needed somebody. So we tried to “Fix our family”. When I tell you that you can’t fix what’s already broken, take those words and use them wisely. Not only from that moment on did he mentally and emotionally abuse me, he physically abused me. There’s more to come, but before I finish, I want to know how many are interested in hearing how I got put into those shiny little bracelets they call handcuffs. Stay tuned.
By Shelby Creek5 years ago in Humans
A Simple "Good Morning"
I have walked along the canal to and from work for the past 6 months and, depending on the time of day, I meet some of the same people, coming and going. I have always been one to say hello in passing. Most people don’t. On that first morning I passed an African man cleaning the rails along the waterway. I said “Morning”. He pretended he didn’t hear me, so shocked was he that someone had addressed him, particularly at 6 in the morning. I could see that in his eyes.
By Stephen Morgan5 years ago in Humans
Mother Nature
“The depths of the female heart have yet to be explored to this day” Fyodor Dostoyevsky. I don’t know exactly what he meant by that. It is a quote I can remember word for word. If we know anything about memory and especially with words, is the amount of attention that must be paid to remember something WORD for WORD. I guess that should serve as a reason for how important this quote is. Would it not make sense that a factor in the judgment of competence about a topic, should be how much a person values what they’re preaching their competence of? If that makes sense then I will explore Dostoyevsky’s quote and why he wrote it. In the end, I will explore such depths further than anyone has, at least further than the day this quote was written.
By Fabio Baxter5 years ago in Humans
It’s 3am... Got my eyes wide shut
What it's like being friends with someone like me. Someone who has PTSD from being in an abusive relationship. One where they were just slapped around, but called names, accused of cheating, told they were ugly, fat, disgusting... and worse of all raped, more times than they can count. It has made me a different person, I now worry constantly, that I am not good enough, that I am fat, disgusting, that no one will ever want me, let alone actually love me for who I am. I cry a lot, way more than I probably should. Hell, I am crying, just writing this. I will almost always cancel plans. This happening to me has made it hard for me to have any relationships. I cannot trust anyone, I get offended easily, I feel that no matter how hard I try, that I will never be good enough. I am a self conscious, beautiful disaster and I want is a normal life. One where I can sleep more than four hour without waking up terrified, screaming and pleading from sleep to not be hurt. Days, where I don't need to drink, just to be able to have peaceful sleep. I want someone who can show me that I really do matter, who can actually love me for me PTSD and all. Because, it's not just some phase I haven't grown out of, it's sadly here to stay.
By Amber De’Ann5 years ago in Humans
The Lives You Save
The sun was sitting low, cresting atop the surrounding city buildings. The light it issued shone dimly through darkly tinted windows, creating an ambiance you could only find at a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop such as Allison’s Espresso Express. The small building smelled strongly of exotic coffee blends and a variety of toasted sandwiches. The few customers were either mumbling in hushed voices amongst each other or clicking away on cell phones and laptops. Colleen Caraway sipped a black coffee in the corner. Colleen was a quiet woman in her early forties with an athletic build and a soft, smooth face. She was maintaining slow, deep breaths to still her mind. Breathe in…2…3…4. Breathe out…2…3…4. The soothing breaths coaxed her lightly shadowed eyelids to close ever so gently over dazzling bright blue eyes. A long and full set of eyelashes brushed against her bold cheekbones. As her eyes reopened, the spark that often presented itself during work had diminished into a dull glaze that didn’t signify much more than the basic presence of life. Long hair the color of saturated beach sand was pulled into a high ponytail. The strands were neatly sprayed into place to maintain the sleek look even after a long shift. Her work was done for the day, but she dreaded nothing more than her time off and the absence of anything to occupy herself with.
By Aston Martinez 5 years ago in Humans
