Amber De’Ann
Bio
We all create stories to protect ourselves -MZD
Stories (3)
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Mindless Ramblings of a Depressed Mind
Chapter 1: The Sperm Donor My favorite quote from one of my favorite books is “We all create stories to protect ourselves” It comes from a book I found whilst finishing up high school. I found this book, due to a singer I had been a fan of since middle school, named POE. This will all make sense, I promise you. My fingers may or may not be crossed as I type any of these promises. As I am sure you are conscious of how the ADHD/Depressed brain is concocted. Welcome to the Mindless Ramblings of a Depressed Mind.
By Amber De’Ann3 years ago in Confessions
Mindless Ramblings of a Depressed Mind
Chapter 2: The Egg Donor Here’s to my mother. The woman who wouldn’t put up with a man cheating on her, however, took joy in making her daughter feel like she could never amount to anything. My mother, how exactly shall I describe her? Half woman, half goat, one hundred percent demon? I was very sheltered growing up. I remember sitting in a restaurant with my mother, a place we went to often. Occasionally one cook would come sit with us and talk. Denise, sure that name works. Denise seemed to know everyone. I remember after this cook departed from our table. Denise quietly whispered to me “never date a Greek man, they are known to cheat” Me not knowing what anything other “Greek and Man” meant was just left perplexed. Also, jokes on her, according to my DNA test I have some Greek in me. Also, a lot of my childhood was spent in Greek restaurants.
By Amber De’Ann3 years ago in Confessions
It’s 3am... Got my eyes wide shut
What it's like being friends with someone like me. Someone who has PTSD from being in an abusive relationship. One where they were just slapped around, but called names, accused of cheating, told they were ugly, fat, disgusting... and worse of all raped, more times than they can count. It has made me a different person, I now worry constantly, that I am not good enough, that I am fat, disgusting, that no one will ever want me, let alone actually love me for who I am. I cry a lot, way more than I probably should. Hell, I am crying, just writing this. I will almost always cancel plans. This happening to me has made it hard for me to have any relationships. I cannot trust anyone, I get offended easily, I feel that no matter how hard I try, that I will never be good enough. I am a self conscious, beautiful disaster and I want is a normal life. One where I can sleep more than four hour without waking up terrified, screaming and pleading from sleep to not be hurt. Days, where I don't need to drink, just to be able to have peaceful sleep. I want someone who can show me that I really do matter, who can actually love me for me PTSD and all. Because, it's not just some phase I haven't grown out of, it's sadly here to stay.
By Amber De’Ann5 years ago in Humans
