Self Made

SELF MADE

A story about my life

This content is a shared experience, a lesson I need to learn to move forward, a reality check, maybe it is something you can learn from.

I'm laughing to myself, wondering what am I doing here, can I write a blog? This is my first time doing this, I'm so nervous! but somehow I still have to go on. chuckling... I have so much to say.

Here it goes...........

I am in a foreign country, recently got married and I have a son. hmm, sounds like a perfect life huh? I thought so too. Who would have thought that several months after my marriage I would be unhappy, separated, and trying to figure me out and to pick up the pieces of my life? An unemployed woman with her only child.

How am I going to survive? Can I do this? will I be embarrassed by my short marriage, when I return home? What am I going to tell my son( oh yeah, he is too young to understand now. I have enough time to talk to him, hopefully). These are the questions I ask myself.

But let me tell you, oh yes I will be doing this, oh yes I can survive. Embarrassed no. My first important movement is getting in my own space in order to get my peace of mind and in order to plan what to do next.

Before I say what is next, let me tell you a story.

Two years ago I met a guy on the bus coming from work. It wasn’t loved at first sight. I was exhausted and tired, just getting from work. I just wanted to reach home. The funny thing is I wasn't seeking a relationship either, I had plans for my future, work, save, completed school, in short order. but that did not happen at all.

Anyhow this guy came on the bus, was about to pass me by to sit in another seat. He said," Good afternoon" in a deep husky voice. oh brother, and that drew my attention. I did respond, of course. But somehow, he managed to sit beside me. Trying to start up a conversation with me. He said all the right things, got me even curious. Smart(check), Christian(check), have a job(check) just to name a few. so we exchanged numbers.

Immediately after we started dating, I fell in love, somewhere down the line, one thing leads to the next. somewhere down the line, I found everything he said was a lie. That truly crushed me. But me being me, I gave him an ultimatum to come clean with me. He did and I forgave him. Then came pregnancy. At first, his reaction was good. Then came a complete Stranger; men with their undecided minds. So frankly I gave him his space. Two years later he marries me.

The truth is marriage is a commitment. If both persons are ready and love each other and willing to accept each other fault, baggage and also the good the bad, and the indifference, then go ahead.

Even though I was ready, he wasn't. I saw many red flags and I still went ahead and got married, because I was so in love.

Now several months after I'm separated, an unemployed mother trying to pick up the pieces of her life.

What is next: 1. Be closer to my God

2. Exercise( Im thinking about yoga)

3. Eat healthily

4. Pick up back my reading

5. Creating a Job Platform online for myself( still researching)

If you enjoyed this post, I'd be grateful if you would help share my post by emailing it to friends and share it on Facebook or Twitter. Thank you.

Tell me your story and what are you doing to pick up the pieces.

Next week’s topic will be "How to start over after a failed relationship or marriage.