Sweet Corn, Watermelon, and the Grand Orchestration

I was so upset when I "had" to move from upstate New York to southern Pennsylvania. I put had in quotes because it is true that we always have a choice but at the time, my options seemed incredibly limited. I moved here in March and I could not wait to escape. For 3 months straight, I kept trying to devise a plan that would take me back to New York and let me start living the life that I thought I wanted...

And yet, somehow the more time I spent in the new place, the more I fell in love with it. It is very beautiful here. The scenery is breathtaking. At night, it is pitch black and there is nothing but a sheet of stars, the silvery moon, and the cool air. I have never seen such wide-open and inviting skies in my entire life. The green open land is stretched out for miles and now that it is autumn, there are a ton of beautiful fields of multi-colored corn and pumpkin patches. During the first days of fall, some of my neighbors were selling sweet corn and watermelon. Regrettably, I didn't buy any but it was an extremely comforting thought to know that they were selling it.

For the past few months, I have been exploring this place and the places that surround it and I have been pleasantly surprised. From the stunning mountains and rivers in West Virginia to the lovely Micheaux state park that I luckily live near. Life here is like a dream.

I was speaking to a local yesterday at a bar and he was telling me about his life here. He has lived here for most of his life and he too appreciates the beauty of this place. He told me that it is extremely important to him that he finds the place that he lives beautiful. I told him that I now realize that that is important to me as well. He spoke to me about having to spend a few months in Iowa a few years ago and initially thinking that he wouldn't like it. But as soon as he arrived, he was completely thrown by the allure that Iowa provided. He mentioned that where he was staying in Iowa was nothing but flat out-stretched land and huge skies. He spoke of something as simple as a thunderstorm being completely incredible to watch as it was overwhelming in the best way. While listening to him speak, I understood exactly what he was conveying. I too was having the same experience with this place.

My interaction with him made me realize that I had no clue what I actually wanted and how I was blinded by the things that I thought would bring joy. I guess I never fully examined my strong desire for my life to continue in New York because if I did, I would have realized that that desire came from desperation. The want came from me placing the source of my joy everywhere else and not within myself. I was holding on to things in New York that weren't holding on to me. I realized that it was time for something new. I let go of all of my plans for New York and embraced what was embracing me. It's been incredible and every day is a miracle. Every single day I feel like I am on the cusp of something new and beautiful. This feels like heaven to me.

The truth that is so blatantly apparent to me now is that each stage of life is supposed to be joyful and beautiful. Perhaps, it's the resistance to things we think we do not want that makes life more difficult and sometimes even unbearable. The surrender to what is happening at the time allows for the clarity to see the truth; to almost see through the physical and look at the magnificent source of it all. Sometimes I call this source, God, and other times I call it the beautiful. This source has a way of placing me exactly where I truly want to be. And it is only when I am relaxed and I am quiet that I begin to understand this and see the grand orchestration of my life.