humanity
For better or for worse, relationships reveal the core of the human condition.
Betrayal, Part 2.
Betrayal & Shame “Shame, similar to unawareness, and other aspects of Betrayal Blindness, helps preserve necessary relationships. Children need secure and trusting relationships to grow and thrive. Their very sense of self, and emotional stability, depends on it. Betrayal damages that web of relationships on which we all depend. Imagine for a moment the free-fall feeling of betrayal with no comprehension of its source… The confusion & disorientation can’t be understood by young children, so they go into a kind of internal whirling and feeling of craziness. As adults, we can give a name to the events that caused our free fall. Children only whirl, attempting to hold onto anything stable in their world. If there are no other trusting relationships and the betrayal is widespread, children can only find stability only by locating within themselves the badness that happened.” - Jennifer Freyd, Blind to Betrayal
By Natalie Nichole Silvestri3 years ago in Humans
The Birth of A White-Collar Criminal
I always knew something big was off with the world. Always. I remember being a little girl in the kitchen & my mom giving me an empty glass jar with remnants of pasta sauce in it and asking me to throw it away, and I felt the sensation “this is wrong” as I dropped it in the trash can. Seeing homeless people on the street felt wrong. A punishing God felt wrong. “God isn’t like that,” I remember knowing. Everything just seemed weird. It felt like everyone was lying all the time. Nothing made sense to me and no one seemed interested or had any real answers to offer, it was always just “That’s the way it is”. I was always like, “BUT WHY?”. I stayed pretty quiet when I was little because I was so scared but in my teen years, I went into a serious rebellion. I remember the moment, not what happened exactly, but the moment when it clicked for me that no matter what I did, it didn’t make a difference, that I would still be cast as “the bad one” (scapegoat life). My seething anger reached its boiling point. “I’ll show you ‘bad’”, I thought.
By Natalie Nichole Silvestri3 years ago in Humans
Betrayal, Part 1.
I want to start by saying betrayal is a global issue- it hits on so many levels; race, class, education, health care, government, media influence, planetary cycles (we are coming out of a Kali Yuga)… it expands FAR past the parent-child relationship. This essay is a little baby dive into the micro/macro of betrayal. This is part one of a two-part essay.
By Natalie Nichole Silvestri3 years ago in Humans
Cellular Memory
“When your mother’s love is threatening, your body remembers the pain at a molecular level.” — Kelly McDaniel This essay is basically just a compilation of the research I have found that has helped me to understand my earliest years and where my self-destructive behaviors stemmed from.
By Natalie Nichole Silvestri3 years ago in Humans
Mother Hunger
My Original Heartbreak was primitive and profound; No one can break your Heart like your Mother. Trigger Warning: This essay is about the Dark Mother. Be prepared for reading about child abuse. My intention in writing and sharing my experiences is to contribute to the collective efforts to bring light to the truths of motherhood and the devastating effects of traumatized, unsupported mothers in our world.* I want to be very clear that this is not an attack on my mother or my family. This is an honest, creative expression of my own personal life experience. Mothers are still a kind of untouchable subject, but hopefully soon we, as a society, will be able to talk more openly about the struggle of motherhood and offer support to mothers in need. I hope that my work is supportive of our collective evolution.
By Natalie Nichole Silvestri3 years ago in Humans
I hate my life
Identify the Source of Your Unhappiness The first step in addressing your negative feelings is to identify the source of your unhappiness. This could be a specific event or circumstance, such as a job you dislike, a relationship that's not working, or financial stress. Or it could be a more general feeling of discontentment or a sense that something is missing from your life.
By leon felix3 years ago in Humans
Fireflies
I’m still grieving the future I’d imagined with the man I thought loved me. It’s crushing to find out just how wrong you could be about someone. Your world tilts on its axis and you stumble around and fall, until you can get your feet back under yourself and take the first tentative steps into a very different world.
By Christina Morgan3 years ago in Humans
