breakups

When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.

Day 1 Of Writing From My Journal
"The only thing worse than hurting yourself is constantly being hurt by the person you love the most. I know it's been told so many times before, but I never thought it would happen to me. I used to be this overly happy person with such an optimistic mindset sometimes I even felt as my smile was contagious. I miss that girl, I miss the person I used to be. Now my thoughts are intruded with other girls, women, why they are better than me, if they are prettier than me, if they are skinnier than me.. I don't even feel pretty anymore, or like myself at all. Sometimes I wonder if I could make it on my own, or what would happen if I just ran away and stopped all contact for a while. I could never do that to my mother especially now that she too, feels so alone in this world. It must be a curse, woman with the biggest hearts endure the most pain, sometimes physically, sometimes mentally. It's easy to build a wall and pretend if everything is okay and act like nothing really bothers you anymore. I think I have become accustomed or maybe I am just becoming numb to it all. Oh what I would give to feel alive again to feel wanted, appreciated, just loved. Sometimes I find myself roaming off and just thinking about my happy place, being home with my family, hanging out with my siblings and pretending that I am not hurting deep down inside. I could never do that to them, I want them to be happy and I would never let them know that I am not okay and cause them any worry at all. My nephews bring a feeling of love, and peace to me I don't have kids of my own, but they pretty much are mine I love them like they are, and like any aunt should. I find myself constantly fighting, over thinking and just worrying about every single thing around me. It is as sometimes I find that courage that I so desperately need but somehow it always ends up being broken down into those little tiny pieces that could never be enough. Drinking is a coping method many turn to, including myself. Yes it's understood what is happening to my body with each consumption, but I don't care. It makes me feel good, and it helps forget those intrusive thoughts. Some nights I stare at the window with hope that prince charming will come on his white horse and save the day. Save me and take me somewhere I could be alone. A clean slate, a clean life, no one would know me or where I came from. I quickly come back to reality because all that is doing is making me feel worse about the life I have allowed myself to live, how did I get in this position, why me? I was the sweetest person before this relationship, now i'm unrecognizable to myself. The level of angry I could reach has been tested and I scared myself. It was like something came out of me that had been hiding under my skin the whole time. It was waiting to burst, and he brought it out of me. I will leave, I have too do this for the sake of my sanity. Maybe I'll call my mom tomorrow, but what will I say mom can you come get me a thousand miles away from home? I'm ashamed of the circumstances but that's it for now. I'll be back and let you know how things go."
By Maria D4 years ago in Humans
My Ex Won't Forgive Me For Cheating (How To Get Your Ex To Forgive You For Cheating)
The hardest person in the world for you to forgive for cheating is yourself. You know just how much you love the person you cheated on and you would never willingly or intentionally cause that person pain. The problem is that you know how much your cheating hurt the person you love. Knowing that you are the cause of that pain is hard to handle because you are a good person. It just goes to show that even good people aren't perfect. But, how does that help you forgive yourself?
By Michael Jaxon4 years ago in Humans
My Ex Texts Me Everyday But Has A Girlfriend (Why Is My Ex Contacting Me When He Has A Girlfriend)
There's a feeling of longing that many women experience after a break up with the man they love. Even though they know logically that the relationship has come to an end, emotionally they still want to be with him. These are the women who will typically spend a great deal of time thinking about the past and wondering where things went wrong. If you find yourself in this situation, you're not alone. It's often difficult to simply give up and move on when you love a man. You may feel that you want to get him back, but unless your ex boyfriend still cares about you, that may be only a dream.
By Michael Jaxon4 years ago in Humans
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Realize Your Worth (How To Make Him Realize Your Worth After Breakup)
If you've recently broken up with your boyfriend, then you're probably thinking about your future and what it looks like without that man in your life. If you can't see your future without him, then you may be thinking of how to get a man (in this case, your man) back.
By Michael Jaxon4 years ago in Humans
Surviving the Worst
It is never easy to shake the growing dread as the darkness rolls in. Where once I would have found refuge, I now only find pain. The saying goes that you cannot grow in comfort but I wasn't really planning on being thrown into a cavernous pit full of vipers in order to accomplish some personal growth. There were days that survival was the most I could do and the thought of ever getting out of the darkness I was trapped in was laughable. If I could even muster a laugh. I persisted, though. Every day was a challenge but as the days passed, I grew stronger and more resilient.
By Gina Ruiz4 years ago in Humans
On the Couch
You sent a message. It was loud and it was clear and it was ignored. Not intentionally, ignored, though. I would sit on your couch and listen to the songs. And you chose the songs. You poured the drinks. You listened to my words. And you lamented my lack of action.
By A.4 years ago in Humans
A Woman's Failed Search for Love
My love life is a fucking disaster. Since my first foray into the dating scene, I have consistently fallen for exactly the wrong kind of men. This past year though, my dad died, I lost a baby, and the man I thought I might marry ended things on a whim. So here I sit, writing every failure down in the hopes that fate might finally smile down on me. I’d honestly accept pity at this point. I am not innocent of wrongdoing by any means so I'll acknowledge now that I share every story from my arguably twisted, and undoubtedly biased perspective. Regardless, I figure I'd better start from the beginning.
By Tiffany Wang4 years ago in Humans
Hope
"There's someone else," the words bounce around in my brain, echoing off the walls of my psyche. "I cheated on you." The day started out good - great, even. We woke up together, she went off to work while I went out with a friend... She called me at work, something she had never done before, just to say hi and tell me that she loved me. I thought things were finally turning around for us.
By Lauren Kirby4 years ago in Humans
Not it!
I have been contemplating and exploring the below more than anything else. 1. Is there a way to break the pattern? Can people change? Can I change what I’ve been doing if I want different results and why does that seem very impossible? I don’t ever want to be hurting like this.
By Helena P4 years ago in Humans
The empty apartment
I take each picture of us down slowly. They don’t belong on these walls anymore. With each one, the parts of me that believed in the moments in those pictures get pulled out of me. Each more excruciating than the one before. They don’t go easy. Even as I put the pictures on the floor, those parts of me hold on. They hold on to the matte glare that shines from the prints and hide between the tiny cracks in the wooden frames. I let them linger. It’s okay, I tell myself. I don’t want to rush this. Some of these pictures are 16 years old. They deserve to hold on for a bit.
By Zee4 years ago in Humans
Reality of a Junkie Dream
Ich Habe Keine Lust A German statement made when one has no interest in sex. Wait, should I step back and explain a bit more?
By Hiro Bastion4 years ago in Humans
No Really...You Shouldn't Have
"I WISH YOU WOULD SEE ME, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE MEEEEE?" Nancy screamed as she began to sob into her hands, all she wanted was for Michael to acknowledge her existence.
By C. M. Sears4 years ago in Humans