START LEARNING AND STOP FALLING

START LEARNING AND STOP FALLING

In the world we are in today, people have stopped learning to love others, instead they fall in love. Few days ago, while I was scrolling through my Instagram page, I saw a post by Pastor Benny Hinn. The first sentence I heard caught my attention, and I couldn’t, but listen to what he had to say. The first statement was “Falling in love is a mistake”. And I was like, how? Of course, when I fall in love with someone, it definitely means I have deep feelings for the person.

Then he went further to say: We are designed to learn to love others, and not fall in love. We are meant to learn to love our partners. Falling in love is not an evidence of a sincere love but love based on sight and feelings.

Let me tell you something very crucial today. Do you why most relationships don’t last anymore? Do you know why we have a very high rate of divorce in the world? Do you know why some homes are never the same as it used to be before marriage? It because we fell in love. We did not learn to love them. It is because we have stopped learning to love others, instead we fall in love. Whatever makes a guy or a lady fall in love with his/her partner will also make them rise up in love. It’s funny, but that’s the truth. The reason is because whenever we fall in love, it happened because of what we saw or felt as at that moment, and once that thing is lost, be it attitude or beauty, the love also fades away.

But when you learn to love your partner, it becomes a gradual stuff because learning is a process. The more you learn to love your partner, the more your love for him/her increases. You would always want to continue loving the person. And this breeds trust and strengthens the relationship that you won’t even need to test him to know his actual personality because you took time to learn to love him(knowing or learning about him/her daily). When you fall in love, you allow your emotions and feelings take an ultimate hold of you, neglecting what God has to say about it.

The most funny thing about this is that we have turned love into a *first sight impression analogy*. A lot of us believe in love at first sight which definitely would end up “in hatred at decayed sight” because once that sight stops sighting that thing, dislike gets in.

According to the biblical account of creation, it was never stated in the scripture that Adam fell in love with Eve. God realized that Adam needed a helper, and he made that available to him. Adam learned to love Eve. He didn’t fall in love with her. He loved her based on a constant and understanding relationship. He continued learning about her and during that process, he said to himself: “This is the bone of my bone, the flesh of my flesh”.

However, it is possible to have crushes and that’s because we fell in love with them due to a particular personality. Learning to love a person means agreeing to accept both the bad and the good personality he/she has because no one is perfect. Stop looking for the perfect person. Focus on making yourself more responsible and presentable.

More importantly, be careful about the kind of relationship you get into. I have seen a lot of teenagers who are just meeting for the first time, and guess what ? In the next one week, they are already in an intimate relationship. The annoying thing about this relationship thing is that a lot of men make promises to marry their lovers.

Listen to me very carefully, the day you decide to either promise or make an oath with a lady, promising her marriage is the day you put yourself into bondage. Why would you promise a lady that would marry her? You are still a teenager and you're already promising. Listen brother, you don’t know what the future holds for you. What if you are not meant to be together.

Marriage is an institution consisting of two major offices that requires two bosses to make it work out. None has to be perfect, because in their imperfections, they would be able to work out perfection. The word ‘Husband’ and ‘Wife' is an office. If Someone does not fit in, another person would. The duty is yours to figure out. However, you need the help of the Holy Spirit to do that, so you will not make a terrible choice. You need the help of the holy spirit to be able to discern right