My Husband Has Become Gay - What Else Can Be Done?

My husband has become gay - what else can be done? If you are thinking of a solution, a "treatment" method, well, nothing can be done! The mentality that homosexuality is a choice, a preference, or that it can be cured is prejudice and a lie…

Your husband didn't become gay - he always did. As in the case of lesbians, some gay men are unaware of their sexual orientation until adulthood or who repress it and try to lead a normal life by marrying a woman. And once they reach adulthood, they either realize that this is not what makes them happy, or they growl and admit that they need something else…

Many times, homosexuals love their wives - but it is not romantic love, but a brotherly one…

Sometimes the news that your husband has "become" gay can shock you - you thought you had a normal, even happy marriage. You get along and you never would have guessed that he has a different sexual orientation. But if you could see around, you would have noticed some signs even before this shocking news!

Signs such as a change in attitude, a move away from you, finding new occupations and hobbies outside the family, lack of sexual interest or strange sexual preferences, excessive care of physical appearance; sometimes also signs of depression (alcohol, medications) because homosexuality awareness, attempts at repression, acute dissatisfaction, all accumulate frustrations that are hard to fight.

Before you ask yourself, "My husband has become gay - what else can be done?" millions (!) of couples in which one of the partners is homosexual… Some try to continue their life together, but having separate sex lives, others have made the simpler decision (yes, it is simpler!) and separated… So no matter how strange and horrible this situation may seem to you, you are neither the first nor the last wife to go through this.

And it's important to know that you can get through this! If you have suspicions, instead of closing your eyes and hoping, you better look carefully - it happens often, only we choose not to see. In our country, the reality is that a homosexual husband will rarely admit this, he will even deny it desperately, and his wife will often remain blind to the evidence.

Choosing a married life in which you know in yourself that this is the reality, but you are stubborn not to accept it, not to see it, is a way… But it is as if you deny that you are sick and do not go to the doctor, prolonging the horrible moment… Because at some point, something will happen…

My husband became gay - what else can be done:

There is no treatment! You are in shock and you would probably do anything to have your life back, to have your husband back, so that everything would be the same… You can't imagine your life without him and you don't know how he can do that to you! But he is not sick. He was only now, in adulthood, aware of his sexual orientation, or he always knew, but he tried to hide it.

Some homosexuals even choose a wife to keep the secret, but they have a second life, kept hidden from the eyes of the world, a life in which they are truly happy. Either your husband has already cheated on you with men, or he has been faithful to you so far, you can't have him back. Whatever people tell you, homosexuality is not treated because it is not a disease. Be careful not to fall prey to profiteers who want to take money out of you, making sure that your husband will be healed through "counseling" or hypnosis sessions!

And whatever the priest tells you, your husband is neither possessed nor sick - that's how he is. Give up dreams - you will never have him back as he was before you knew it (and before, he was not himself). You will overcome the initial shock, then you will hardly overcome the despair of having your life back - and then you must find a worthy way to continue.

Your marriage… If he wants to leave, he wants you to divorce, don't pray for him on his knees! You won't convince him you can't convince him, he now knows he needs another life. But sometimes he doesn't want to leave - he wants you to pretend everything is normal and keep his secret well so that no one finds out.

But do you think such a marriage is possible? Won't you go crazy living with a man you now know is gay? Won't you go crazy thinking about cheating on men? Won't you live a lie, a lie that will slowly destroy you (you will start drinking to forget and so on)?… Is it better for children to live in such a lie?

Formal marriage, separate life. Some women wonder if "my husband has become gay - what else can be done?" they reach what they consider a middle ground. Specifically, I get over the initial shock and choose to continue the marriage, but only on the surface. In reality, they will go out with other men, and so will their husbands!

This form of marriage is at least strange - but if the two manage to become friends, it can work. But maybe it's too hard to start an intimate life with others while you're still with your husband… Everything is too confusing and weird. In addition, this can make you hope in vain that things will return to normal - and they cannot return to them?

Why if he wants something else? What are you to him? Does he want to use you only as a cover to keep it a secret? She wants to live her life with other men, but to have you at home, like a good housekeeper ?! Why does he want you to stay if he doesn't need you? Sometimes he still needs you emotionally - like a friend (he loved you like a friend). Whether or not you can be his friend at some point is up to you. Separate partners in which one is gay even manage after a period of tension to become friends, raise their children, and communicate.

It is not your fault! Don't blame yourself - you wouldn't have anything to do, and now you have nothing to do but try to get over it with dignity and find the right solution for you. It has nothing to do with how good a wife you are, how attractive you are, how good you are in bed. No connection at all…

And even though you hate him for a while, it's not his fault either. His real fault is that he didn't accept the truth before starting a marriage with you - but maybe he didn't know…

Counseling? Counseling can be useful for both of you, not to treat him, but to help you discuss, clarify, and get rid of tension. It helps him to explain his life and get rid of frustrations, to make you realize the situation you are in. With counseling, it may be easier to make the right decision.