I advise you not to care too much about anyone

I want to ask too care about a person how to do?

I am 25 years old and my husband is 26 years old. I have been married to him for five years and our child is 4 years old.

I love my husband very much. Since we got married, MY attention has been focused on him. I have arranged everything for him, and he said that he would not know how to do without me.

Now WHEN I talk to him, I often feel his impatient tone. Every time I get very angry, but he coaxed me a little.

Every time he and I quarrel is their respective cold war, such as the quarrel at night, I was so angry that I could not sleep, he slept snoring.

I really don't want to do this anymore, but what can I do to make him care about me as much as I care about him? CAM, what am I supposed to do?

 

A: Hello, girl. I find that many women have the same problem as you. When they quarrel with their husbands, the woman is so angry that she can't sleep, while the man sleeps like A clam.

Even when I was first married, my wife and I had the same problem.

Once she and I were angry, I thought it was just a small thing, and when I woke up the next morning, I found her sitting on the bed and wiping her tears, I knew she had been sad all night.

I asked her something, and she was even more angry, and she was angry that I didn't know why she was angry, and I admit that I had just been married, and I didn't handle it very well, but I really didn't know why she was so angry.

Fortunately, this is the only time IN all my years of marriage.

My wife said to me that she found herself very silly, she was angry, I sleep, she just lazy and I angry, feel very deficient.

From then on, she could not sleep at night because she was angry with me. Of course, I would try to avoid conflicts with her at night. We would not talk about some contradictory things until it was too late.

Back to your problem, you and your husband can't talk to each other properly, and it always makes you feel angry, which means there's something wrong with your communication style.

Let's take a look at why the other person will speak to you impatiently, many people will have a mistake, think he does not love me, so I have no patience.

But is it really true?

It doesn't have to be that way.

You asked me before, too care about a person how to do?

So what is caring too much about someone?

It's giving all our attention to the person, right? That's when we care too much about someone.

Then why care so much about one person?

It's usually because you don't feel confident in the relationship and feel insecure inside.

When you care too much about the other person, it also means that you may have a strong need for control, and that you place too much importance on the feedback the other person is giving you.

Or let's put it this way: it looks like you care about this person, but really, you need this person to give you emotional feedback, you want this person to fulfill your fantasy of the perfect relationship.

Therefore, it can be concluded that all care is manipulation in the name of love.

You care so much because you expect him to give you the same in return.

Because you need to control the relationship through manipulation, when you give instructions to your husband, you expect him to follow through.

If he doesn't do it immediately, or if the level of implementation is not satisfactory, you may repeat your needs and requests over and over again in order to get him to do it.

This is why your husband is impatient with you, because your so-called caring leads to controlling him too much and doing everything over and over again.

I can see that your goal is not necessarily to ask him to do something, your goal is to get his attention.

As long as you can get his attention, it will calm your restless, anxious feelings.

It's like a screaming baby gets milk, and when you find out that it works, you want his attention, and you get angry to get his attention, and you get upset.

But the problem with you now is that it works for you during the day, because he sees it, and it doesn't work so well for you at night, because he doesn't see it.

Or maybe he wasn't sensitive enough to know you were angry, just like I was, and I didn't know she was angry.

You don't want to go on like this, so the way to change is not to find a way for him to notice your emotions at night, but to learn to control your emotions and stop getting angry and fighting with him all the time.

Think about it, you angry, he slept, this kind of anger, really is not worth it.

It's important to know that you need to change if you want your emotions to be satisfied. Here are three tips for changing:

O1. Treat marriage as a social relationship

Marriage itself is just one of our many social relationships. It may be an important one, but it certainly won't be the only one.

In addition to maintaining the relationship between two people, we should maintain our own life.

Having a job, friends, hobbies, and dreams is all part of the social diversity that keeps us from focusing all our attention on marriage.

O2, strive to improve themselves, so that they have more chips to be loved

No one loves a partner who is constantly in the mood. We are more likely to love a fun soul who is emotionally stable.

To be better, it's not about you anymore, it's about them.

O3. Change the way of thinking

For example, my wife will think that it is a disadvantage to be angry at night, and when she has this idea, she is not willing to be angry with me.

I hope today's advice will help you have a better marriage and more happiness.

It is important for each of us to remember that the love of others must first love ourselves, and that all good relationships depend on long-term attraction.

If you can't love yourself, give all your attention to someone else, and love them more than you love yourself, be prepared to be unloved at any time.