A Dreamer

*****

I found myself drifting back into some of “the good old days” while listening to songs we used to sing along with without a care in the world.

The breeze in my hair. Heart racing, my pulse pounding against my eardrums as I run as fast as I can. The soreness doesn’t matter from how long we’ve been running because we are finally “free.” We feel like we are soaring because we are letting loose. Being ourselves and letting our imaginations run wild with us. From tag to the wild games we came up with as we played.

The hurt grown kids are thinking this is an escape from us.

They call recess a break from the crushing chaos, but for us it’s a time for a break from the miserable madness.

The faulty structure we are being trained to suffer.

The fake lights that drain our health.

The repetitive forced consumption of cherry-picked information.

The regurgitation of specific sources.

The programming of generations.

We can finally embrace our thoughts and allow ourselves to become enveloped in our creativity.

We get scheduled time to play and sometimes we believed that they could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted - so we wished we could be older like them.

What a silly mistake.

The free will and the dreams we believed in as kids seem to shatter when we become grown - but because we never took time to heal, we are all still children.

We struggle to function to our full potential because we carry the weight of traumas we were taught or strong-armed to just smile and push through, instead of communicating and putting in the work to test ways to uncover the next better way to handle the trials we are facing.

Grown kids need to dive into their depths and hug their inner child. Wounds can be healed and scars can be something we can learn to love.

The scars tell the stories of strength - mental and physical - they do not need to heal exactly like wounds because they are different. They are meant to leave a mark to serve as a positive reminder of perseverance, not a negative sign of weakness.

Learning and growing from the failures is the reward of pursuing and finding the wrong answers while you have been seeking solutions.

The energies of the universe shift with a cruel irony to maintain balance. Not evil intentions, but with a demand for effort.

**

We admire fictional characters - not because of the escape to idealism - but because we are dreamers - we want to expect the best from others, but we are aware. We see and hear more than some assume because we refuse to accept their complacency and or toxicity.

The real monsters wear masks but their facades never last - that’s why they never truly praise or seek authenticity. They have to cycle through their victims because the prey has to get help while they typically never try or even admit they need help because they are a predator. Sometimes it’s the way their brain is wired, sometimes their environment and choices shifted their influence heavily to negative states of existence.

Growth requires discomfort so expecting better behaviors from others shouldn’t be shrugged-off and tossed aside as such an “idealistic” concept. One could argue that this is an example of something that only enables the devolving behaviors that deteriorate an individual and/or group.

An “idealist” attitude helps encourage purpose, something to strive for, something to accomplish, something to build.

Doing what can be done without overextending oneself ought to be a bare minimum because we all need to strive to be better than who we were yesterday because that’s who we are truly competing against - ourselves. Not in a negative way, but in a way that promotes stronger spiritual growth. This is how we evolve - growing together with our combined experiences and unique thinking. If we are truly honest with ourselves and one another, we could achieve more incredible things.

Our future selves are waiting for us at the table of life - right next to our inner children from over the years - so it’s time to show up and not let them down.