how to impress a girl on instagram chat example

He Sent a Meme and Waited 3 Days

I still remember the moment I sat staring at my phone, wondering if I’d just ruined everything with one message. I’d liked her posts for weeks — a few heart reacts, a story reply here and there. Then, one evening, I built up the courage to DM her a funny meme that made me think of our shared love for books.

I hit send.

Then waited.

An hour passed.

Then a day.

Then three.

I almost deleted the message. “Stupid,” I thought. “She probably thinks I’m annoying.”

But on the third night, my phone buzzed. A reply. A laughing emoji. Then she wrote: “Haha! You actually remembered I love that author. That was sweet.”

That small, uncertain moment turned into a long conversation. We still talk. And I learned something powerful: impressing someone online isn’t about flash — it’s about respect, thoughtfulness, and timing.

This article is for shy beginners like I once was — people who want to build genuine connections without being fake or creepy. Let's break it down with real tips, expert insights, and message examples that actually work.

Why Authenticity Wins Over Tricks

Trying to “impress” someone often leads to the exact opposite if you’re not careful.

According to Dr. Jeremy Nicholson, a social psychologist and relationship coach, people online are quick to detect insincerity. “Digital cues are limited,” he says, “so we rely heavily on tone, timing, and relevance. People can smell manipulation a mile away.”

Instead of trying to sound cool or overconfident, start with honesty and respect. Women, like anyone else, value genuine interest — not strategies designed to “win” them.

The Psychology of Online First Impressions

When you send that first message, the girl is sizing up a few subtle things:

Are you respectful or pushy?

Is your message personal or copy-paste?

Are you giving her space to engage naturally?

A 2021 study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that “contextual appropriateness” was key in online conversations. In simple terms: saying something relevant to her profile or interests makes you 70% more likely to get a reply.

Step-by-Step Instagram Chat Tips (With Real Examples)

1. Warm Up Gently

Before sending a DM, react to her stories a couple of times with meaningful responses — not just fire or heart emojis.

✅ Example:

Her Story: A photo of her dog at the beach

You: “Your dog looks like he’s planning world domination 🐶🌊” (Funny + Observational)

This makes her aware of you and opens the door.

2. Use the “Context Hook” in Your First DM

Instead of “Hey” or “You’re cute,” refer to something on her profile or stories.

✅ Example:

“You posted that book quote the other day — are you a Murakami fan? I just finished Kafka on the Shore.”

This works because it shows effort, mutual interest, and respect.

3. Keep It Light and Two-Way

Avoid flooding her with long paragraphs or back-to-back messages. Ask questions that invite real answers, not just “yes” or “no.”

✅ Example:

“You seem like someone who knows hidden food spots. What's your top recommendation in the city?”

Avoid over-flirting early. Let the tone build naturally.

4. Read Her Vibe and Mirror It

If her replies are short or delayed, slow down. Don’t guilt her or ask, “Why aren’t you replying?” Respect goes a long way.

But if she responds with enthusiasm or emojis, that’s a good sign to continue.

What NOT to Do (Common Mistakes Shy People Make)

❌ Don’t Be a “Nice Guy™”

Being kind is great. But don’t act polite just to get something. Girls can sense when “niceness” is transactional.

❌ Don’t Overshare or Trauma Dump

Avoid writing your life story in the first three messages. Focus on shared interests and small emotional cues.

❌ Don’t Panic if She Doesn’t Reply

Silence isn’t rejection. Sometimes people are busy, or your message just didn’t click. Don’t double-text aggressively.

Expert Insights: What Psychologists Say

Dr. Rachel DeAlto, a relationship expert and author of Relatable, notes: “When it comes to digital communication, it’s not about being the most interesting person in the room. It’s about being the most interested.”

In other words, show curiosity, not just charisma.

Meanwhile, a Pew Research Center report found that women are more likely to respond to messages that feel personal, respectful, and engaging — not generic openers.

Message Examples That Actually Work

Here are 3 more strong openers depending on the context:

1. If she’s posted something artistic or creative:

“The way you frame your photos is incredible — are you into photography as a hobby or something more serious?”

2. If she shared a travel photo:

“This looks like Greece — tell me that’s not a random Airbnb find?”

3. If she posts a book, movie, or music you recognize:

“Not enough people give this album credit. You just earned 10 cool points.”

Disclaimer: Respect, Consent, and Digital Etiquette Matter

This article is not meant to “game” women into liking you. If your goal is to trick someone into responding, you’re doing it wrong.

Respect boundaries. If she doesn’t reply — move on. If she replies but seems uninterested — don’t chase.

Consent, mutual interest, and self-respect are non-negotiable. Impressing someone should feel natural and enjoyable, not forced or manipulative.

Final Thoughts: Impress by Being Real

The truth is, there’s no perfect line or guaranteed formula.

But if you’re kind, thoughtful, and genuine — and you respect her boundaries — you’re already more impressive than 90% of the people in her DMs.

The key isn’t to perform. It’s to connect.

So next time you type out a message, ask yourself:

“Am I being real?”

If the answer is yes — send it.