how to impress a girl best friend

It Started with a Cup of Tea

I still remember the day I realized I had feelings for my best friend. We were sitting on the steps of her college hostel in Delhi, sipping chai and watching the sunset behind the old stone wall.

She was laughing at one of my terrible jokes, her hair messy from a long day of classes, and for a moment, everything around us blurred. It wasn’t one of those movie-like epiphanies. It was quiet, honest, and a little terrifying.

I knew I couldn’t risk the friendship. She mattered more than anyone else in my life.

So I didn’t jump in with a confession. Instead, I began a slow, patient journey - one where my goal wasn’t just to impress her, but to become someone worth her admiration and trust. This guide is that journey.

Step 1: Be Her Safe Space - Always

Before anything romantic, I had to prove I was dependable. Not flashy. Not overly charming. Just solid.

When she ranted about college stress, her family’s expectations, or messy friend drama, I listened. Not to fix, not to impress, but to understand. I never laughed off her problems or minimized her emotions.

I showed up on time. I remembered the small details — her favorite chocolate brand, the way she loved old Hindi songs on rainy evenings.

What mattered most was that she felt safe with me. Emotional safety builds real connection, and without it, even love feels shallow.

Step 2: Don’t Flirt - Instead, Be Thoughtfully Kind

We often hear advice like "compliment her eyes" or "crack jokes to make her laugh." But when it comes to a best friend, typical flirting feels forced.

I learned that genuine kindness speaks louder than any cheesy line.

I made her life easier where I could - carrying her books when her shoulder hurt, proofreading her essays without being asked, ordering her favorite biryani when she was too tired to cook.

These weren’t grand gestures. They were quiet, consistent signs that I cared.

Over time, she began to see me not just as a friend — but someone who truly understood her rhythm.

Step 3: Level Up for Yourself — Not Just for Her

This step was tricky. I didn’t want to become someone else to win her over. But I knew I needed to grow.

I started hitting the gym - not to become “hot” for her, but because I wanted to feel better about myself.

I began learning guitar again, not to impress, but because music helped me process my emotions.

I worked on my career and became more financially stable.

When she saw that I was serious about my own life, she respected me more.

Women - especially in both Indian and Western cultures - often admire men who are grounded and evolving, not stagnant and waiting for attention.

Step 4: Respect Her Boundaries, Always

At one point, she went on a few dates with someone else. I won’t lie — it hurt.

But I didn’t sulk or act jealous. I reminded myself: my job isn’t to compete. It’s to care, even when it’s hard.

I kept our friendship intact. I gave her space when she needed it. That maturity mattered.

What I learned is that respecting her choices, even if they didn’t involve me, showed strength.

It wasn’t weakness to accept her autonomy — it was proof that my affection wasn’t selfish.

Step 5: Be the Guy Who Supports Her Dreams

She once told me she wanted to open a small café — quiet, artsy, with poetry nights and fusion snacks. Most people laughed it off. I didn’t.

I helped her brainstorm names, find local spaces for rent, and even built a rough budget model for her.

We spent evenings planning imaginary menus. It was fun, but also serious.

When someone supports your passion, you remember it. Whether she eventually opened that café or not didn’t matter.

What mattered was that I saw her, not just for who she was — but who she wanted to be.

Step 6: Share Your Vulnerabilities Too

One night, we were walking back from a bookstore in Connaught Place.

I don’t know why, but I told her about my fear of not being enough - not smart enough, not ambitious enough, not special.

She was quiet. Then she said, “That makes you more real than most guys I know.”

That moment changed everything.

Being vulnerable doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. Girls, especially in close friendships, value emotional openness.

It's rare. And when it's authentic, it’s unforgettable.

Step 7: Don’t Confess - Let the Bond Grow First

This might sound strange, but I never “confessed” my feelings. I never dropped the “I love you” bomb out of nowhere.

Instead, I let the relationship evolve.

She started noticing the way I remembered her weird food cravings, how I stayed back to help her with presentations, how I could tell she was upset just from her silence.

Eventually, she brought it up. “Why do you do so much for me?” she asked.

I just smiled. “Because you matter.”

That was it. No drama. Just truth.

Step 8: Give Her the Power to Choose

The hardest part of all? Letting her decide — freely.

After months of unspoken closeness, I told her that I cared deeply. That I’d never risk our bond lightly. That I wasn’t expecting anything — just honesty.

She took a week to process it. I waited, without pressure.

Then one evening, she showed up at my place with coffee and said, “You didn’t try to win me. You tried to understand me. And that’s what won me.”

It was the beginning of something beautiful - not because I impressed her, but because I became someone she could love without fear.

Step 9: Keep the Friendship Alive Even After It Becomes More

This isn’t often said enough. Just because you’ve moved from friendship to love, don’t lose the friendship.

We still joke about old inside references. We still play stupid dares. We’re still honest, even during disagreements.

In both Western and Indian contexts, romantic love that grows from friendship lasts longer — but only if you nurture both aspects equally.

She still calls me her best friend. And I still find joy in that title, even after everything changed.

Step 10: Never Treat Her Like a Goal Achieved

Impressing her was never the goal. Becoming better for myself — and showing her my real self - was.

Today, if someone asks me how I “got the girl,” I tell them this: You don’t get anyone. You grow alongside them. You earn trust. You build memories. You love in small, consistent ways.

And sometimes, if you're lucky, that girl best friend ends up looking at you one day and realizing — you were worth loving all along.

Author's Michael B Norris Note:

This isn’t a formula. It’s a lived path. If you’re in this situation, focus less on impressing and more on being present, kind, and patient. Real relationships - especially ones that grow from friendship - aren’t about shortcuts. They’re about showing up, again and again, with your full heart