How to Build Harmonious Relationships

A well-known saying goes that "love is not enough". For a relationship to last, without being negatively affected by tense daily life, professional challenges, stress at work, or the multiple duties of each member of a couple, we need to pay attention and patience. In addition, harmonious and healthy relationships become more than a necessity, especially when a child appears in the couple's life.

Each couple indeed has its dynamics, dictated by several factors: the personality structures of the two partners, the history of the couple, how the couple understands to resolve their conflicts, their unresolved traumas, and the life history of each partner. the couple.

However, healthy relationships can be maintained by following a few clear rules of living together.

Cultivating proper communication and empathy in the couple

The ability to communicate our thoughts, feelings, and desires to each other is very important. It is necessary to be interested and to try to understand the point of view of the partner. A high empathic capacity improves the quality of life in the couple.

The desire to change when needed

Relationships are not static, but dynamic, they are constantly changing. Routine produces a certain erosion of a relationship, that's why the relationship needs to be permanently refreshed, recalibrated, reevaluated.

For this, the flexibility of each partner is crucial. A rigid or even hostile attitude only makes a couple's situation worse, the relationship ending in a divorce/separation.

Spending quality time as a couple

It is difficult to divide the time and so very limited by the countless daily responsibilities and to give the partner opportunities for joy or satisfaction. However, no matter how busy a week of work may be, give yourself a few moments to do what you enjoy: practicing a hobby, watching a theater show, or a movie.

Couple psychotherapy expert Dr. John Gottman [1] has developed an effective program for healthy couple relationships, which Bellanima psychotherapists also adhere to. He suggests some strategies that any couple can use:

Build love maps - a very simple exercise to get to know your partner better: How well do you know your partner's inner world, life history, worries, stresses, joys, or hopes?

Shares admiration and tenderness: As an antidote to hatred and misunderstanding, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect in a relationship, to strengthen admiration and tenderness, to express appreciation and respect.

Turn to your partner: Affirm your needs, be aware of the signals your partner gives you and respond to them. The small moments of daily life continuously build the couple's relationship.

Maintain a positive outlook: Take positive approaches to problem-solving and successful attempts to repair the relationship.

Manage conflicts: The term "manage" the conflict is used rather than "resolve" it because the state of conflict in a relationship is natural and has its functional, positive aspects.

Dreams can come true: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to speak honestly about hopes, values, beliefs, and aspirations.

It creates meaning that both partners share: It is important to understand the importance of visions, myths, metaphors about your relationship.

Build trust: This is the condition that occurs when a member of the couple knows that his partner is acting and thinking to maximize his interests and benefits, not only to maximize his interests and benefits. In other words, "my partner supports me, he's there when I need him."

Commitment: This means believing (and acting for this faith) that your relationship with this person is a long-term trajectory, sharing the good and the bad of life. It involves emphasizing the positive qualities of the partner rather than amplifying the negative ones, to build an empathic, trusting relationship.

When you feel that none of the above recommendations are working, it is necessary to consult a couple of psychotherapy specialists, who can help you find the balance in the relationship. You can find out more about couple therapy on our website.