How Gen X Redefined Traditional Norms...

Gen X is often portrayed as the generation that raised themselves and there is a reason for this. Gen X'ers were raised by the Silent Generation and Boomers, which those older generations were generally very set in their ways and opinions. They had a hard life, living through wars and massive changes on a global scale. Religion was still a priority but the time for church became something that was not as pressured on the Gen X kids as by these generations. Silent Gen and Boomers were often busy working, especially as technology began to rapidly advance and the cost of living rose just as quickly. The older generations also were not accustomed to the mindset of there being much to "worry" about when it came to letting "kids be kids", because they were raised with the mindset to work, and work meant supporting your family - even if it kept you from them often.

This mindset meant that many Gen X kids were left to take on chores and many adult roles around the house at a young age. We were not having our music and television programs monitored because our parents were often working. The rise of both parents working or single parents being the sole income was also more common for Gen X kids. It was not uncommon for many Gen X kids to be playing parent to their younger siblings, while doing chores around the house, fixing meals, and doing homework. When the weekends would arrive, we were free, at least those of us whose parent(s) had weekends off. It's already been mentioned in my previous articles how inappropriate many of the movies and TV shows we grew up watching were looking back on them. Even the "family-friendly" movies we watched left many scars and taught many Gen X kids like me that even if things seem good, there is a train around the corner just waiting for your guard to be down.

The constant state of living in "fight or flight" mode for Gen X turned many of us into "helicopter" parents. We knew the stupid and reckless shit we pulled as kids that our parents didn't notice or know about because of their parenting style. I can think of at least twenty times in my pre-teen years alone that make me question how I managed to live to adulthood, and for many other Gen X'ers that I have spoken with, they have similar stories. For Gen X the reality of shouldering adult responsibilities, having movies/TV shows that portrayed us as adults, and being taught that we can't trust anything or anyone created this new style of parenting. We became overly watchful as we became parents, and were terrified of everything and anything, no matter how unlikely it was, harming our kids. Gen X essentially became the opposite of the Silent Gen and Boomers when it came to raising kids in many ways.

The advancement of technology also assisted in this by allowing us cell phones and other methods to keep a close eye on our children. At the same time, it also created more fear and anxiety for Gen X parents because it opened the door to dangers we had not experienced as widely in our youth. Many Gen X parents became paranoid about the lurking danger and harm that was in the world and could hurt their child(ren). We became overly cautious. Overly watchful. Warning our children of the danger lurking around every corner, the things that go bump in the night, the horrors of adulthood. We created a generation that did not have to "grow up" in many ways. Many Gen X'ers faced adult problems, responsibilities and traumas while they were kids, which led to the Millennials and Gen Z'ers raised by Gen X adults were shielded and protected by their Gen X parents.

Gen X was built on the concept and idea of fighting against the "norms" of society, fighting against "the man", "the establishment", and breaking free from tradition. My husband and I agreed that we wouldn't force our daughter into religion or to share our opinions, we would protect her and keep a watchful eye, but encourage her to be her own person. While both, he and I experienced the 'adulting' aspect of working while going to school as teenagers, it was not something we pushed on our child. We allowed her to be a child, but in many ways, our constant fears and worries did affect her greatly. This seems to be something common for Millennials and Gen Z adults. They are very aware of the dangers of the world, boundaries, being vocal about their feelings and triggers. This all was a concept not really seen by those in the Silent Gen, or Boomers, and it was something Gen X was encouraged to not express.

Many Gen X adults did not raise their Millennial and Gen Z kid(s) to be focused on marriage and having kids. We did that, we saw our Silent Gen and Boomer parents do that, and it wasn't perfect, it wasn't always right for them or us. Some Gen X'ers felt forced to give up their dreams and hopes because we had to "be adults" and work the job that provided, rather than the job we wanted. Millennials and Gen Z adults were raised to fight against that mindset with every ounce of their strength. They were pushed by their Gen X parents to demand more. To want more. To have boundaries and have limits and not to let anyone tell them otherwise. This created younger generations that truly fight against the "norms" and "traditions" that the older generations, especially Silent Gen and Boomers, see as being the way things need to be done.

It is not uncommon for Millennials or Gen Z'ers to remain unmarried or marry later in life. It is also not uncommon for them to not have kids. Many of them have branched away from the more "expected" 8-5 blue collar jobs, instead they are using the internet and technology to create their own paths. Many are more open to fluidity in life, whether it's within relationship, gender, jobs, religion and their vision of the future in general. While this is not true for all Millennials and Gen Z members, just as the general sentiment about the Gen X experience growing up is not true for all, these are trends seen with many I have spoken with and interviewed. This lack of desire to embrace the "way it's always been" by these younger generations has created a great divide between the older and younger generations as they both struggle to live together in society.

The political divide is probably one of the bigger aspects being affected right now, as many Millennials and Gen Z adults are feeling a lack of representation in the United States government, for example. This is because so many seats of power are held by politicians that are part of the Silent Gen and Boomer generations. The ideals shared by many of them is still the less modern concept of working day in and out, working yourself to exhaustion, not bitching, just doing it, while being married and having kids. Church and religion is another huge aspect that causes a high amount of conflict since the younger generations are more fluid with their beliefs as well. The older generations still hold onto very outdated concepts and opinions that are no longer serving society as a whole.

Overall, it would appear that the curse of Gen X'ers and the trauma and early adulthood has led to a complete transformation in society that comes in the form of the Millennials and Gen Z'ers raised by them. Gen X wanted to save their children from trauma and growing up too quickly. Instead, we hovered over our children and were afraid of everything, warning them about all the dangers and evils in the world. They learned to speak up because we never could. They learned to fight against doing things "the way it's always been" because we taught them not to accept that. Now, society is struggling between the older generations wanting to keep things "how it's always been", and the younger generations refusal to deal with the same bullshit that their parents did. The bullshit that their Gen X parents encouraged them to not accept and not be silent about. But when will the older generations pass the proverbial torch and allow changes that need to happen because change is inevitable?

After all, isn't one entire generation of traumatized, burnt out adults enough of a reason for change to happen? Gen X raised the younger generations to be different. To want different. To fight for different. Why is society continuing to rely old rules and mindsets that no longer fit the growing world? Is working oneself to death to barely cover the cost of living really what we want these younger generations to accept as " how it is"? Just because that's what we did? Gen X once was the generation that fought against what was "expected" of us. The "traditional" and "norms". We wanted to fight against the "establishment" and then somewhere along the road we settled for the mindset of continuing to "adult" like we did in our youth. We sucked it up, buried our emotions, and keep dragging our asses to jobs we we hate because it's what we "have" to do. But... we raised Millennials and Gen Z to be more, to demand more, to expect more, to have boundaries and to raise hell when it's needed.

Now, it's time the older generations accept that change needs to happen. Because Gen X didn't raise their kids to accept the same cycle of trauma and tradition that many of us eventually succumbed to. Buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride as the generational struggle continues. As for Gen X'ers, remember just because many of us are exhausted and pessimistic, it doesn't mean we need to force the Millennials and Gen Z'ers we raised to "accept the inevitable" like many of us did. We can still be the parents that encouraged them to change the world... and we can fight with them to do just that.

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