Do You Still Believe In the Illusion of “The One Destined for You”?

According to psychologists, many people believe in this illusion - that one day they will meet a person who is destined for them and who will give them the perfect, saving, long-awaited love. This is a myth in which we tend to believe and find an explanation that we have not chosen the right person (when we are unhappy in our relationship) or that we have not yet met the "love of life." when we are alone).

Michael Jordan said, "Some people want it to happen, some would like it to happen, some people want it to happen.".ˮ

As we age, we realize that we are the ones who decide our destiny. The search for the ideal love is a symptom of the frustrations and fears we have in life, and this only upsets our existence, even more, wasting our time with this search and living the illusion that there is that soul mate - a fate. Running after the doomed is a childish attitude it is a myth.

In reality, love is a struggle between adults, who build together, who help each other. When pride and competition arise between the two, who should lead and who should listen, resentments erupt that destroy relationships and marriages.

Find the right person to live with for the rest of your life! This is the desire of many people and it comes down to that dream of finding the soul mate, which offers understanding and unconditional love. That's the decent thing to do, and it should end there. But is there such a thing?

Many psychologists have concluded that you should not believe in the myth of "the one who represents your half" or the "one who is destined for you." A man is already a whole, he is a unique person, from the moment of birth. The idea that you lack the "half" to be happy is an illusion, it is an idea of ​​childish thinking, an idea that you hear from others since childhood, from parents, close friends.

Everyone needs to grow up, become responsible, trust and love each other. If he wants to receive everything from that "half" he expects (sometimes maybe his whole life), it is clear that he suffers from a lack of maturity. The love that comes from another person is a gift that brings you joy in life.

The relationship between two people is a way of life in which they love each other, support each other, develop and help each other, invest a lot of energy to live together.

What do psychologists say about that "half"? Once you reach a certain age, you begin to realize that we humans tend to wait or look for our "half." To call someone "your half" is an illusion, because in life you must, first of all, discover yourself and know yourself, to accept yourself, to find love in your soul.

When you are young and in love, you are tempted to say that you have found your "half" and that person is responsible for your life. Gradually you discover that that person is not exactly what you expected and you are disappointed, you understand the jealousy you experienced and you break up.

People should love but not believe in this myth with "fate" or "half". They need to trust themselves, consider themselves "whole" people, and only then will they be able to build lasting relationships, be able to understand the problems that arise, solve them, and overcome them.

As for the desire to create an ideal family of two people, who would be said to be doomed or are the two "halves", in reality, things are different. Today, the family is seen as a solution to the problem of loneliness and as a fulfillment of a woman's desire to have a child and the fact that she wants to get married first.

Those who believe in the idea of ​​having to look for the "half" to complete the whole experience an illusion, because such a thing does not exist, they will not find an ideal person to offer only love, attention, financial security, a sense of security. , etc. A healthy relationship is built between two people who understand each other, love each other, and complement each other, who manage to overcome the problems that arise in life.

"We are looking for happiness in our relationship partner and that puts huge pressure on our partner. We forget that in fact what we are looking for is within us from the very beginning. We are responsible for the state of being happy, not our half. Remember that, and your relationship will improve considerably. " Taher Sonu

Do you think that the role of a relationship is to make you happy? How many of us have been taught that it is important to find someone to have a relationship with because that will make us happy?

Probably a factor as to why they're doing so poorly. But from the beginning, we have a big problem, even from the way this hope is formulated.

"I want someone to make me happy"… If a man is not happy, can someone else make him happy? For how long? If I make my partner happy, who makes me? If we are both unhappy, what happens? Who sacrifices himself for whom? When I don't have a partner, can't I be happy? This pattern of thinking creates a lot of problems and creates a lot of suffering and for me, happiness, fulfillment, and joy in life came when I realized that a relationship is not meant to make you happy, but to make you evolve. ˮ - Pera Novacovici