Beyond 'IF'. I dream - not making dreams my master.

If

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too:

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

⁠And never breathe a word about your loss:

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

⁠Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

⁠And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son

```````(Woman. Daughter).

I wish I were an oak tree, then I could fulfill every observation here. But I did my best - and prayed for grace to try. I was born with a wild and wandering spirit, flitting like a butterfly. M brain was, is, a jumble of possibilities - the colors of autumn leaves.

I do not contain the makings of an ordered mind. I thrive in a sort of chaotic silence - caught between the desire for solace and the need to fly.

This poem was like a blueprint to the perfect personality which a life could ever expect, or aspire to become. I tried sharing it with everyone - I was so excited about it. Very few souls grasped the depth of it the way that I saw it. But one young soul did, and I was happy to have reached even one.

I read this poem at a young age and instantly fell in love with it - along with Robert Frost's, "The road not Taken", and a few other eloquently written and enlightening poems. I was already an enthusiastic poetry buff by then, avidly reading and scribbling my own versions of encouragement to myself.

Looking back over the years of my slow marching to the drum of life and the perceived expectancy of what was expected of me - I wish that I could go back to the beginning and relive a great many of these "IF'S".

I would have charged through life like a bull, instead of compliantly trying to toe the lines which society expected me to.

After school and working for so many years, getting stagnated and bored...I decided that there must be something, somewhere else other than my lovely Caribbean island where life could offer more. I mean, I was working my 'tuchus' behind off, yet never found much time to enjoy the natural delights of my own island country.

Montego Bay, Jamaica, our tourist capital. Dunns' River Falls. our prime attraction. I only got to visit once before I left for the US. In order to survive living a normal simple life, one had to forego time for enjoying oneself, limiting it to the bare minimum, working from dawn to dusk. Life was exacting a high toll on my existence. It just was not enough.

Dunns's River Falls. Such a delight.

There was eating fried fish, jerk chicken and festival on the lovely beaches in Portmore, St. Catherine and many other locations, such treats were passing me by. Responsibility and familial accountability beckoned.

Strange that I had to leave the island in order to enjoy its abundance, to find the time to see my own birthplace with new eyes. Which I appreciated much more on my return visits to relax and let some of the stress of life melt away under the hot Caribbean sun.

...

When I decided to travel to the US, very few people encouraged my new venture - almost everyone told me that I would fail if I ventured out where big bad wolves lived, without the least bit idea of what awaited me.

I was not asking their permission, just affording them the courtesy of informing of my intentions. I got myself together and headed out into the unknown.

Ah, the beginning years were rough. I got to see a lot of the United States and experienced many trials and pitfalls during the journey. There are many people whom I need to thank for their kindness and assistance as road led to road.

I find myself living on military bases around the world with planes of war roaring overhead, a deafening reminder that all is not well with the world. But there is joy in listening to the many family pets, dogs crooning the national anthem every evening and the birds twittering their displeasure at being interrupted.

I got acquainted with my long lost, once UK, now Canadian dwelling brother, whom I had only met twice.

Thankfully, I have also seen life in a few other countries. The UK, where I walked the moors with the ghosts of some of my favorite authors, visited palaces and estates owned by kings and queens (huge spaces the size of small countries), which left me wondering why some have so much and others so little. A question with no answer.

IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I vacationed in Greece, peering across the Aegean Sea to see Turkey in the distance.

I visited Wales where I limbed waterfalls and hiked in the rain. The Welsh language is a wonderful treasure...

English - "Hello, how are you"....

Welsh - "Helo, sut wyt ti". You should see the supermarket signs.

Ah, yes!...I went to visit Drac in Transylvania, Romania....Yeah!

Kids and the big red chair.

The Vampire palace is perched way high above the rise where the people in the background of the chair are climbing, eager to squeeze into the tiny dangerous looking staircase in the quaint 'palace'. . It was a fun-filled experience.

~~

Travelling the London Underground, or The Tube, is an experience, the names of the stops are featured in so many favorite stories that I felt right at home.

I met Sherlock's ghost, at Baker St. in London.

Walked The White Cliffs of Dover of which songs are sung.

I was present in the country to mourn a long reigning queen's journey into her other life, hoping to be as brave as her, defying time with every breath she took.

I sat high in the sky on the London Eye, during the ending of the coronavirus stage - I burned rockets in the secluded spaces of woodlands, traipsing content amongst giant trees with friends and family.

I survived health related scares with scars, but still dares life to try to stop my trajectory.

There is still a lot left to do and a lot of places to visit. Home calls every so often and I visit her to remember those still there and to honor my roots.

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same:

Then I am winning this game. Punching today in the face - preparing for the fighting bout of tomorrow.

I am still charting the course on my variegated map which leads to strange and diverse places...Meeting wonderful and remarkable people...writing my way forward.

Africa and Austria are on my bucket list. Who knows?