movie review
Movie reviews for horror fans; from gruesome bone-chillers to dark horror thrillers, a showcase for frightful films that seek to entertain and to terrify.
'Escape Room' and Low Expectations
There's something of a stigma that comes with PG-13 movies, and rightfully so. It's an extremely fruitful audience–attracting teenagers not yet seventeen, the heart of profit. PG-13 horror is practically a riskless market, and thus, houses some of the most passionless, terrible, cash-grab films of their respective years. And it works.Truth or Dare, a movie with a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes and an even more dismal average audience reaction, grossed almost a hundred million dollars worldwide. A hundred million. Ouija, sporting an even lower 6% on RT, made over a hundred million. You'll find similar examples littered through the past decade: Slender Man, Wish Upon (what is it with Joey King and these movies?), The Lazarus Effect—it happens incessantly. As much as I want to fault these filmmakers for their unending heartless production, I understand where they're coming from. It's a profitable market.
By hannah brostrom7 years ago in Horror
'Halloween' (2018) Review
Halloween takes place 40 years after Michael Myers murdered five people on Halloween night in 1978. We're supposed to go into this movie completely ignoring the second, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth movie. In my opinion, you should go in thinking of the first AND second one.
By Cassie Fetto7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Pact' (2012)
OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING BORING! It didn't fail my "30 Minute Rule," but really, it should have. This movie jumps right into the plot, and the really creepy stuff starts happening no more than 15 minutes in... but then, there's just this fucking lull till the last 15 minutes. I really am thinking about changing the 30 Minute Rule to "if nothing happens for over 30 minutes." Housebound had the same damn problem. Actually, this movie is a lot like Housebound without the comedy, to the point were I had wondered if Housebound was as spoof of this movie.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Movie Review 'Dry Blood'
Dry Blood stars Clint Carney as Brian Barnes, a drug addict desperately hoping to get clean. After waking up in his car in some lonely Los Angeles alley, with no idea what he did in the preceding days, Brian decides he wants to quit. So, Brian calls a friend to be his sponsor and join him as he dries out a cabin he owns on a remote, California mountainside.
By Sean Patrick7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'House of Last Things' (2013)
Let's talk about how you definitely don't fucking start a movie... golf in slow motion. Why THE FUCK on God's green Earth would you intentionally want to make the most boring sport in the world even more boring by playing it in slow motion?! Who fucking thought that was a brilliant opener?! Better watch out for that eighth hole, that eighth hole is fucking cursed... REALLY?! I have no fucking clue what they were trying to accomplish with golf in slow motion. I'm thinking about naming retarded openings "Golf In Slow Motion" and adding it to the Mental Vomit list. That's how fucking dumb the opening to this movie was. It deserves its own category of bad plot devices. Even the fucking mayonnaise on white bread people who some-fucking-how convince themselves that they actually like watching golf, probably wouldn't watch it in slow motion.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Cargo' (2017)
Before you read the rest of this review I believe it's important to see the original short this movie is based on Cargo. That short has everything needed for zombie survival. The struggle, the tension, the desperation. What lengths will you go to? The original short did more right in seven minutes than most Z movies do in an hour and a half.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Crawl or Die' (2014)
Uncorked Studios actually managed to produce a low budget film that was pretty fucking good. It's not just good on the curve of being low budget. What I mean is, I'm not being nice because of their shoe string budget. They clearly had nothing to work with and they made it work. I have some complaints, of course, and this movie was by no means perfect, but I'd actually recommend it to all my fellow horror heads.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Annihilation' (2018)
This movie was simply amazing. I can certainly add it to my "must watch" list, and while it's not really in my top 10, I could at least estimate it in my top 15. It has a few minor flaws, but overall, it's a really solid movie up to Hollywood standards (though I sometimes think I give Hollywood too much credit).
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
'Happy Death Day'—A Movie Review . Top Story - January 2019.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Well, that sounds encouraging! But, didn’t I just hear those exact same words yesterday? And the day before? And a week ago? Something is strange! I have been repeating the same day over and over for a whole week now!
By Marielle Sabbag7 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Deathgasm' (2015)
This is likely my new favorite horror comedy of the past ten years. Even beating out Tucker and Dale V. Evil and Zombie Land. It was just fan-fucking-tastic. New word of the day kitties..."Cocktopus." Let that swim around in your cranium for a little while. I'm basically just waiting for an excuse to call someone that.
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in Horror
