Wisdom & War

There was nothing but darkness. All around me went black. I still recall the ringing of sirens in my ears, shattering glass and the stomach wrenching sound of bones being crushed. It smelled like blood, fury and death. Yet to my dismay, there was not a single thing in sight.

I’m not sure what time I woke up this morning. It didn't matter, I wish I had never slept at all. I can't stop dreaming about the accident and the last time that I would ever see again. Dreams were teases; when my head hit the pillow I could see what wasn't real while when I had awoken, my reality remained dark. Even though monsters haunt my dreams, it’s still good to see something, anything. It's been months since the crash and I still feel like a stranger stumbling around aimlessly in a dark world. I could feel the sunshine, I just couldn't see it. I just can't stop thinking of how I’ll never see flowers again. I’ll never see the moon or stars either. I’ll never see into someone's eyes for the first time and feel that lightning strike again. Sometimes I wish it were me instead of Nicholas.

I at least dress myself now. I also own more sunglasses than all of the Kardashians combined. School wasn't really working out for me either. I needed 24/hr around the clock care and on top of that they wanted to make me homecoming queen out of pure pity. When I told them to shove it up you-know-where, the less these fakers came to my “rescue”. I’m not a helpless situation that needs to be handled, so please don't treat me like one. They say your other senses get stronger when something dreadful like this happens. Or maybe they just say that so you could feel better about a crappy situation, like how they say it's good luck if it rains on your wedding day or if a bird craps on you.

My foster dad begged me to go back to school, he said it’ll be good for me to get back into the world. Sometimes I feel as though I'm from a different time. Life in ancient times seemed so much cooler…and mystical. This modern world is so boring. I know he means well and I know I can't see his tears but I can hear them from the shaking in his voice. He’s not my real dad but he really is a good guy. I just don't have the heart to deny him so I agreed to go back on Monday. I had two days left of being alone. How could I walk through those halls and know all eyes are on me? How do I sit at the lab table Nicholas and I used to share? It felt like just yesterday we were mixing the wrong chemicals together and making a mess of everything. God, I’d give anything to go back to that day, anything. I still don't remember a car hitting us, but what I do know is that we definitely hit something. My therapist says my dreams about "monsters" attacking the car is my mind's own way of coping with what really happened. Everybody keeps telling me to move on. Oh Nicholas. I’ll see you again one day my friend, figuratively of course.

My new “helper”, aka Nurse Tina, is taking me to school today. Yet, I confess something about her energy felt...familiar. When all my things were packed and ready to go I couldn't get myself to get into the car. I’ve had anxiety about getting into cars recently. She must have noticed my sheer panic and told me it was alright and to take all the time that I needed. I suggested that we could just walk to school instead, it was a nice day out anyways. She was hesitant but with her firm tone was overall welcoming to the idea. It was a warm but breezy Monday. I bet the sky was a soft blue with wisps of powdery clouds. Everything felt good for a moment, as if none of the past 6 months ever happened and I was on a normal walk. I closed my eyes, for just a minute, to appreciate the warmth and cool breeze on my skin. Tina's gentle hold of me became more aggressive, and our slow pace began to speed up. I asked her what was going on. Breathing hard she demanded me to keep running. Shaken from my daydream, I noticed the sound of crunching leaves between more than four feet. It was louder and closer than before. Tina quickly asked if I knew any places to hide and I somehow spit out that there was an old farm on our path to school. Finally catching my breath, I felt hay beneath my feet and I knew we made it to the barn. Being as quiet as I could with my heart beating out of my chest, I asked Tina who was chasing us. Panting she replied, “something that shouldn't be here”. I couldn't believe what was happening. Trying to control my emotions, Nurse Tina started chanting in this weird language; as if things couldn't get worse. This whole thing was a nightmare, I was helpless and in the dark. The sound of heart crushing stomps outside the barn faded away for a second when all of a sudden the woosh of wings flew overhead. Tina screamed, “The Owl! The Owl has come!”. I knew what I was hearing but I couldn't make sense of any of it.

Tina spoke but it wasn't to me; I know I’m blind but I’m certain we were the only two in the barn. She must be talking to the owl or she's just absolutely insane. I thought maybe I should make a run for it but whatever was waiting outside the barn might be worse than a psycho nurse. She grabbed my hand and out of pure surprise I followed without resistance. Nurse Tina then proceeded to tell me, very quickly and frantically, to touch the owl and all would be revealed. My first thought was, I was going to be the girl who was blind and one handed. Yet something inside of me told me to trust her even though my mind was screaming to run. Intense bangs on the barn doors made me jump out of my skin. Tina said there wasn't much time, so I did what I had to do. I reached out slowly and touched the softest feathers I’ve ever felt in my entire life. At that moment I felt a shock up and down my spine. I was beyond dizzy and felt as if every one of my cells and organs were on fire. My body was vibrating as I fell to the ground. I must have been out for only a minute but it felt like an eternity. So many images and feelings flooded my consciousness. I felt like I was drowning in an endless, yet mighty sea. The rotted smell of dead animals pulled me back from the depths. As I opened my eyes I swore I was still dreaming. I saw the barn, the big red doors, the old wooden beams, and stacks of hay as high as the peaked ceiling. I saw Nurse Tina, tall and sturdy as an oak tree. She had dark purple hair that shined like wine. I pictured her to look more hard yet she had a soft way about her; the curve of her lips and her glowing porcelain skin made her eerily beautiful. As I was taking it all in, the reality hit me. I could see. I didn't just see her, I could also see her skelton, all her organs, blood and veins. Something wasn't right. Ok, actually a lot of things weren't right but I figured I was still in shock. Turning my head I saw another woman standing besides me. She wore white and golden armour. She looked divine and radiant. On my left was nurse Tina, bowing. I still wasn't sure what was happening, until the woman of light spoke. She said “The owl you have touched was me, Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and War. You were chosen long ago to be the child I never had and to be blessed with my powers. You are destined to fight the creatures of the forgotten world. The past is coming to reclaim the present, you must be a hero to the modern mortal world. The car accident that left you without your friend and without your sight was no accident. It was the Minatuar who jumped into your car's way. You were lucky that your sight was taken, for if the one who was promised was compromised in any way the prophecy would remain unfulfilled; leaving the monsters of the past to rise without resistance. This led the Minatuar to go without finishing what he started. Good thing, my darling, he didn't know I was coming for you. I was waiting for the right time to shed my owl feathers and change into my human form. He needed to be convinced the prophecy failed for me to reveal myself to you. I hereby bestow onto you my powers and give you my ability to see when others cannot”. She assured me that she knew it was a lot to take in and believe in such a short amount of time, minutes to be exact. With the last bang on the door we all had a sense that time was running out. I needed to make a choice. Take a leap of faith and believe or get torn apart. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew in my heart she was telling the truth. In that instant I saw Nicholas' sweet face and I knew what I needed to do.

The barn door busted open with hay and wood exploding like a bomb. I finally saw the truth, right before my green enraged eyes. There it stood, horned, hairy and 10 feet tall. It was the monster that killed Nick. It was grotesque, hefty and vicious. It’s razor sharp teeth begged to tear me apart. Time froze while millions of war scenarios rushed into my brain. Different forms and plans of attack kept coming until one scenario finally stuck out. Before I even began to comprehend what was happening to me, my body took control and carried out every action and move that only skilled and blessed warriors could unleash. I was on the ground one minute and in the air the next. I was swift, ruthless and victorious. My skin felt as if it were imperishable. In my sturdy glowing hands was a sword conjured of ancient and exquisite form. I saw the Minatuars heart beating inside of his puffed up chest. I knew exactly where to strike. In a burst of lightning, I slit the Minotaurs throat and ripped out it’s monestrous heart. Bloody and victorious, I had never felt so high. I felt as though I could conquer the world.