Squirrel Girl vs Batman

So this article might just be to piss off Batman fanboys but I am also unequivocally correct. This is something I’ve been saying for years but I feel like it's important to actually back up my claims. So here we are, why Squirrel girl and Batman are the same. They are the same character, they are equally ridiculous and the victories they possess make no sense whatsoever. And as an added bonus why Squirrel Girl would beat Batman.

Now I can already feel blood boiling but here’s the reality; Batman gets his ass handed to him on a very regular basis. Bane makes a hobby out of kicking the crap out of the Dark Knight. Wonder Woman, Jason Todd, Deathstroke, The Predator, Lady Shiva, Prometheus, The Reaper, Bronze Tiger and Supes have all beat Batman to hell. Of course there’s more than that but these are the cases that have either happened repeatedly or just to the point where there is no ambiguity and therefore bat fans can’t make the argument that he wasn’t really beat. And I can already hear the fanboys…”But with prep time” first of all if you are counting on prep time to save your favorite hero then I hate to break it to you but your favorite hero actually sucks, and second of all that’s the dumbest excuse anyone has ever used ever.

Squirrel Girl however has not only never been beaten but she has defeated cosmic villains like Thanos, and Galactus as well as Kraven the Hunter, Doctor Doom, Deadpool, Wolverine and Whiplash. A lot of these are due to her opponents overconfidence. Alternate versions of the character even make her worthy of lifting Mjolnir making her Squirrel Thor. She is literally the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. So Batman can have as much prep time as he wants but Squirrel Girl can not lose and would absolutely demolish Batman. Due to the Dark Knights arrogance mostly, and the fact that she is simply more creative and resourceful then he is. And the best and most hilarious part about that, is it's ridiculous. It's just about as ridiculous as an orphan in a bad halloween costume beating any superpowered being literally ever.

Now I know this might not be the most popular of articles, but you simply can’t argue with facts. One character is powerless and equipped with nothing but brains, arrogance and money. He regularly gets his ass kicked. The other character actually has powers and has never lost a fight, fights against people who always outmatch her. There is no denying who would win in a fight between the Dark Knight and Squirrel Girl, Doreen wins hands down and with very little effort on her part. The real point of this article is to point out that these two characters are actually the same. It’s absolutely ridiculous that Squirrel Girl has the feats that she has, it's absurd that she's defeated some of the biggest and baddest of Marvel characters. Exactly as it is ridiculous for Batman to have the feats that he does. It makes no sense that he has been able to take down the entire Justice League. In reality (I know that’s a weird thing to say when discussing comics) an emo rich dude in a batsuit is not taking down Superman no matter how brilliant he is or how much money he has. Wonder Woman would beat him into a sludgy substance faster than he can process what’s happening to him. And I swear if I hear “with prep time” one more time I am going to lose my mind.