Jurassic World Rebirth Review: Dinosaurs, Dollars, and Dead-Eyed Spectacle

⭐ Star Rating: 2 out of 5

Jurassic World Rebirth

Directed by: Gareth Edwards

Written by: David Koepp

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Jonathan Bailey, Mahershala Ali

Release Date: July 2, 2025

Published: July 4, 2025

A Franchise Fossil Polished for Profit

Jurassic World Rebirth is a prime example of the modern blockbuster-as-product. It’s engineered to please everyone—families, teens, global audiences—without ever taking a real risk. The result? A film that is impressively watchable and utterly forgettable.

The film checks every box: action, comedy, child-in-peril subplot, and a diverse cast (though the story still pivots around white leads, as Hollywood habit demands). It’s safe, shiny, and totally sanitized.

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Scarlett Johansson Tries to Cash Out

Johansson plays Zora, a mercenary with a killer résumé and an empty bank account. She’s offered a billion-dollar payday by a cartoonishly evil pharma bro who wants her to extract miracle dinosaur blood from a restricted island.

She recruits a crew: a scientist played by the current “It Guy” Jonathan Bailey (doing the standard “quirky glasses-wearing genius” bit), and some mercenary friends, including Duncan Kincade, played by Mahershala Ali. None of them are bad. None of them are great. They’re just… fine.

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Why Is There a Gas Station on Dinosaur Island?

Somehow, Jurassic World Rebirth finds space for blatant product placement. The research base on the dino island features a fully stocked gas station, complete with name-brand chips, sodas, and even an ice cream freezer that becomes a hiding spot from raptors. The logos are so prominent they deserve a spot in the opening credits.

This kind of synergy may make studio marketers proud—but it also turns the movie into a feature-length commercial.

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The Stakes Are Manufactured, Not Felt

Midway through the movie, the mercenaries rescue a family whose boat capsized—because we apparently need a moral compass moment and a child to care about. It’s screenwriting 101: throw a kid in danger, and your audience will follow. But the manipulation is so transparent, it barely registers emotionally.

Everything in Jurassic World Rebirth works on a technical level—editing, VFX, pacing—but none of it resonates. It’s like watching someone assemble IKEA furniture with precision, then expecting applause.

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Final Thoughts: A Hollow Spectacle That Prints Money

Director Gareth Edwards (Rogue One, The Creator) is capable of awe and ambition, but here, he’s been tasked with avoiding offense and delivering thrills on a strict schedule. He succeeds—but at what cost?

Jurassic World Rebirth is not a disaster, but it’s not a triumph either. It’s a billion-dollar placeholder—a movie built for trailers, global markets, and merchandise, not for memory.

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⭐ Final Rating: 2 out of 5 Stars

It exists. It earns. It does not offend. And by next summer, you’ll forget that Jurassic World Rebirth ever happened. It's the kind of blockbuster you end up asking a friend if they remember having seen it and it takes a minute to remember. Jurassic World Rebirth is a perfect widget. It does exactly what it promises. All audiences should be satisfied by it, especially if they don't know the magic of the original Jurassic Park, a film that both defined the wonder of cinema while delivering genuine thrills and indelible moments that its subsequent sequels have failed to recreate despite bigger and bigger budgets and stars.

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Want more brutally honest takes on today’s biggest releases?

Catch the latest episode of the I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast, where we dig deeper into Jurassic World Rebirth and other summer blockbusters.

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Tags

Jurassic World Rebirth, Scarlett Johansson, Gareth Edwards, 2025 Summer Movies, Dinosaur Movies, Blockbuster Review, Medium Reelscope, Jonathan Bailey, Mahershala Ali, Jurassic Park Franchise