Book Review: "Nobody's Girl" by Virginia Roberts Giuffre

Content Warning:

The following review discusses topics of child abuse, rape, drug/alcohol addiction, human trafficking and suicide. Take these into account when considering if and when you will read the review. Continue with caution if you hold any sensitivity to the topics mentioned.

If you know anyone who is in danger, child or adult, contact your local police station or crisis centre with immediate effect.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with their mental health, please see the resources below:

• The Samaritans - for immediate support
• Mind - to gain access to helpful support systems
• Rethink - to get help in supporting someone else

Thank you,

Annie 🩷

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Book Review: "Nobody's Girl" by Virginia Roberts Giuffre

There are a few books that I would say you probably don't want to read whilst eating, or before eating or even after you've just been eating. This is perhaps one of them. Apart from being a horrific story of survival, this book is also quite graphic and so - I won't be going into a lot of detail about the actual abuse she suffered, but I'll still be discussing it conceptually. I understand that conspiracy theories have been swirling ever since her suicide and yet, now that I've read this book - I kind of believe it was most likely a suicide. If I endured any of this I would have had a much worse reaction. If there's one thing we can understand now that she is gone is that she fought right until the end. But I cannot think of a better way to support her cause than to read this book - there is so much you don't know until you do. It gets so much darker in there.

The narrative of abuse begins with the fact that our author was sexually abused by her own father at first, something he actually vehemently denies in the preface to the text. However, the amount of detail that Virginia is able to provide of the abuse seems to be coherent with intense childhood trauma and would also explain the behavioural changes she experienced in her youth. So I am more inclined to believe her. I'm not sure why someone who went to accusing the former prince of England of sexual abuse would lie when it comes to her own father. I mean, it simply doesn't make sense. To me, she is definitely telling the truth and he is lying. (She also knows someone else who was contacted and knew about this abuse so there we are).

One thing I learnt from this book, from Virginia, is that those who were abused in childhood were far, far, far more likely to be abused as they grew up than any other group of people. She writes her story without any detail missing yes, but she also teaches us how to recognise the signs of child abuse in children who perhaps won't communicate it to adults out of fear.

On a lighter note though, Virginia also talks about her love for horses and the book Black Beauty in which she quotes the text and tells the reader how it changed her life. She grew up around horses and often went riding them bareback. Whenever she writes about her memories of the horses I definitely feel like this is her safe space. She may not have the safety of her mother to go since her mother seems cold and unforgiving. She definitely does not have the safety of her father to go to because he has committed terrible things against her. She has, though, the horses. This deep, affectionate love comes back over and over again - even to the print on her clothing when she is in one of the greatest dangers of her life. As a reader with any ounce of empathy, you genuinely cannot help wanting to give this woman a giant hug. It is too sad that nobody can now.

She runs away from home, gets abused by a man on the road with the very real threat of death around her, and then we see the road towards reading a book at a resort in Mar-a-Lago to meeting a horrifying woman who's last name happened to be Maxwell. Ghislaine Maxwell met Virginia and recruited her to do massages and then, it goes darker and darker. We are introduced to clientele and of course, the terrifying and sickening monster that is Jeffrey Epstein. Massages very quickly turn into rape and sexual abuse, it is a scary atmosphere created in the book and must have been just completely traumatic in real life. Virginia holds back no details though. She tells it exactly how it was and gives us an overview of her emotions at this time.

She is taken around the world and thinks that a girl like her - from a 'troubled' background - should be grateful for such treatment. We get an image of a young girl who gives thousands of dollars away to children she meets on a trip to Africa as they have less than her who thinks she should be grateful for being able to stay in a five-star hotel being introduced to rich and famous people. Honestly, I felt myself throw up a little at how she had been gaslit into this kind of thinking. During the abuse and the travels, our author names people she sees on flights and details how Maxwell and Epstein were both psychotic, talking about how they basically made her believe that they were her only option at a successful life. She names people like Stephen Hawking (I remember hearing this for the first time and I think I was so shocked, I couldn't figure out what that meant. But now, I am sure I know what it implies about him).

As we continue through the book we get to sections where Virginia is obviously beside herself with shame after being made to recruit other girls for Epstein. She feels like she is one of the people to blame in the fiasco and of course, we know that this is not the case. We see her say it in different ways several times over: she was only trying to survive, she wasn't thinking about really living, just surviving to the next day. In this amount of hypervigilance for so long, one cannot help but feel terrible for her position. There was nobody around her who could quell her pains and, throughout the ordeal, she had to show her family she was being a successful and independent person. This was not the case as our narrator was falling apart every single day in a new way.

In the midst of the narratives about these horrific times, we also get a modern look at Virginia, her husband and her children. She cares for her children so much whilst also being acutely aware of the horrors of growing up female. I think that women who read this book will definitely sympathise with the fact that there is definitely a culture of pedophilia that underscores how girls are raised - whether it is presumed from other people or the fact that some girls are taught from an early age that the most important thing they can be is pretty, helpful and quiet. Virginia constantly reinforces that staying quiet could be the worst thing a growing girl could ever do as it almost automatically puts her in harm's way.

Virginia talks about drug and alcohol abuse, an ectopic pregnancy and the fact that once, she woke up in a pool of her own blood and was taken to the hospital by Epstein. Epstein then lied to her about her own condition and eventually, when she did find out there was a whole new sense of shame and bewilderment to deal with at that age. The more of a painting we get of these two pedophiles, the more grotesque they become. There are few other people I would refer to as monsters. She talks about the fact that the doctors she would go to were assigned by Epstein and Maxwell in order to get her put on medications such as Xanax and yet, in her spare time in order to numb the pain, she was taking a huge amount of drugs. She took ecstasy and dropped acid, smoked weed and god knows what else. All she wanted to do was make the pain go away. I cannot even begin to imagine the extent of her pain.

There are many people mentioned on flight logs, going around with Epstein and on the infamous island - but one of the things that I took away from this book is the character of our author herself. She was definitely a person who fought and fought for the victims and against the horrors she endured. I think we all hope she has found her peace, but I don't think that we should stop fighting. We wouldn't need the infamous and elusive 'list' if we just believed the girls. And Virginia definitely shows us that it is almost strategic that society does not believe the girls - it suits the men involved. Now, we are beginning to see the floodgates open, now we are starting to believe. Andrew has had all titles taken away and gosh, does it feel good to see this hasn't drifted away from the public eye.

Let us continue to demand that people are held accountable.