Book Review: "Aftermath" by Rachel Cusk

Welcome back to another episode of 'books I read on my phone' and Rachel Cusk's Aftermath is one of them. This book is about the separation and divorce the author had from her husband which definitely had me asking 'why did she marry him?' and 'why is he such a piece of shit?' But if you know me then you'll also know how I do not understand how people have the capacity to go out and spend time with another human being, let alone actually get married to one. It sounds like my idea of hell. As Sartre wrote in his play No Exit, 'Hell is other people'. But, I do enjoy Rachel Cusk's writing - and this is another example of why she's so articulate...

First and foremost, the author tells us about her and her husband's separation and how he had come to loathe her entirely. Rachel Cusk often explains how she has never had to be reliant on a man for financial freedoms and honestly, this can hurt men's egos. Whether this be your father, your brother or your husband, men will always try to control a woman's financial anything. As women, we know the risks we run of having access to our own money and happiness and Cusk articulates it beautifully as proving that she can be her own 'whole'. Her writing is often straightforward, complete with strange metaphors about rocket ships and the Internation Space Station, but there is also a melancholy about her position. She already knows her life won't be the same - she just doesn't know whether it will be better or worse.

When she talks about the change between her and her husband, she speaks in terms of gender. The fact that she makes her own money and does all the chores means that he often lacks purpose. She goes back into her own childhood and talks about how her own father often blessed the household with his absence, noting how having her father around often made things worse. She has this universality in female experiences in which many women have men in their lives that make things worse for them to exist, whether that is through constantly pushing them around or intimidation. Cusk describes this experience with phone calls in which her now ex-husband starts demanding money and horribly, time with the children half of the time. Cusk's response that they are her children as they came from her body makes her partner angry and he starts spurting non-existent laws to her as to appear as the 'rational' one even though she is the one maintaining her composure.

Stories of Clytemnestra litter the novel and her daughters' interest in Greek Mythology is often interesting to read about (seeing as it is rare to have children that are interested in more things that the internet). She recounts her mother's birthday and taking her children to the park in a way that is coloured like the book is not when her husband is in the narrative. But as the children begin to grow, it is clear that their views are being skewed by the 'male ideals' (a version of the male gaze that the author discusses earlier on in the book). They are very young, but often stand in front of the mirror wondering about whether they look fat. Now, if you know me then you'll know how I could never understand why women make a physical effort for men. I mean I own so many different shades of red lipstick which are all quite expensive - I'm not putting one on for someone who can't tell the difference between dark cherry and crimson. Rachel Cusk really put up with a lot of shite in this marriage.

With more parties and marriages analysed, Rachel Cusk seems to conclude that there is something special about women taking care of other women. It is less just about separation but rediscovering female bonds. I'm not going to lie though, I don't much like other women either - but I understand how it is perhaps more valuable to have women around than men if you of course, don't trust or value the opposite gender any longer as too many of them have made too many mistakes. What I can say about this book though is that it was an immersive read which ended on such an incredible and calming note - something I particularly enjoyed.