Your Sexuality Belongs to You

I was 34 years old when I masturbated for the first time.

Before that, I spent decades devoted to my religion, with the conditioned belief my body belonged to my husband. I accepted the teachings that sex and pleasure were something to receive from him. I quoted scriptures and taught lessons in church all about this ‘holy’ concept.

Then, I discovered the secret my church and most religious organizations don’t want anyone to know…

My sexual pleasure belongs to me.

When my eyes were opened, I came to learn the product religion sold to its members is salvation. Yet, to keep us within their control, they need to save us from something… our own unworthiness.

They create the problem they need to save us all from. They teach us to believe we are unworthy, dirty, sinful, sexually — depraved humans in need of salvation from our carnal desires.

In order to keep us all in line and faithful, they institute rules on our sexual lives. They lead us to believe we must keep all of our sexiness reigned in and under tight control.

*Don’t have sex until you’re married.

*Have sex only for procreation.

*Sex should be between a man and a woman.

*Don’t masturbate.

*Don’t have oral sex.

*Don’t have sex with anyone other than your spouse.

*Don’t watch or participate in porn.

*Don’t think or fantasize about anyone other than your spouse.

*Don’t talk dirty or swear.

*Don’t have sex in weird positions.

*Don’t use anything kinky or strange.

*Don’t talk to anyone other than your spouse about sex, because it’s sacred.

DON’T. DON’T. DON’T.

Religion knows one behavior will keep us obedient to their organization and that is to deny ourselves and our own pleasure. Deny and commit to the church.

If sexuality is confined to organizational rules and controlled with shame, we will look to the church for the salvation of our sexual depravity.

We will need repentance for the ‘carnal’ (translation: natural) desires of our soul which long for sexual pleasure and fulfillment. These desires are healthy, but religion does not want us to understand this.

What they don’t want us to know is… you matter. Your sex belongs to you.

If we realize this truth, they will lose our obedience (and our money.)

If we unlock the key to sexual freedom by finding pleasure in ourselves and sharing sex with others without shame, we won’t need the church. They are afraid our eyes will be opened.

This is what I discovered. I learned the secret they didn’t want me to know…

My body and sex belong to me.

My sexual pleasure is mine and under my control. No organization or person owns my body or my sex. I discovered the joys of pleasure without shame or control from anyone else. I unlocked a passionate, shameless person able to love freely. I learned how to own my pleasure and how to give and receive love.

Then, I uncovered the biggest secret of all…

Shame-free sex with myself and others is transcendent, life-altering, and worshipful.

This is the real key to eternal life.

Religion took the ‘product’, repackaged it, and offered it as a heavenly reward in an unknown after-life, only attainable after mortality of shame and self-denial.

I became free as I embraced my love of myself and my own body. I no longer felt unworthy or embarrassed of the erotic, sexual desires which are my birthright. I let go of the product religion sold and became free from the grip of control held over me.

I discovered the truth. Self-love is the key to freedom.

For as we love ourselves, we can experience true bliss and eternal life here, in the now…

On Earth.

*originally published by the author on Medium.