satire
Humor and satire to make you laugh. Everyone loves a good innuendo.
Sex in Shoes
Variety is the spice of life. From Netflix to the bedroom, from original TV content to leaving shoes on during sex, we all want to try something new, and we want to try it now. A generation of instant gratification, has made leaving shoes on during sex part of a bucket list that includes the mile high club and threesomes. No man will ever complain if his lover wants to strip down, but if you're trying to spice things up, sometimes it's fun to leave an article or two on. Especially if that article or two includes stilettos, thigh high stockings, or a garter belt.
By Filthy Staff10 years ago in Filthy
How to Last Longer in Bed
Isn’t it crazy how completely opposite men and women are when it comes to the big O? To give a woman an orgasm is to give her a gift she has always wanted yet is often hard to find. Despite vagina diagrams, verbal direction, and YouTube videos, women still have a difficult time reaching orgasm from their partner, and that’s if they do at all. It is a mission that takes skill, patience, and usually a few prayers.
By Jus L'amore10 years ago in Filthy
Socks and Sex
When it comes to socks, it’s always better safe than sorry. You don’t want to risk unsightly blisters or uncomfortable chaffing. While some people may go without socks their whole lives, others just can’t seem to think of anything else. This one of a kind Q&A covers issues like the importance of socks to the proper positions and even swapping socks. In short, this covers everything you ever wanted to know about socks! However, this sound advice can also be applied to sex. It seems that socks and sex have more in common than we thought.
By Filthy Staff10 years ago in Filthy
The Worst Date I’ve Ever Been On
He took me to a beautiful French restaurant in Los Angeles for dinner on a crisp fall evening in 2007. He had approached me at the coffee shop the week before and asked me out, after chatting me up while we both sipped pumpkin spice lattes. He was friendly and sported the salt and pepper hair that hinted he was probably a touch older than the men I usually dated, but I agreed to a date because I wanted to give it a chance.
By Liz LaPoint10 years ago in Filthy
Earth's Erotic Pollution
If you can’t see any connection between sex and our polluted planet, it's only because you haven't met Professor Quilp. But you'll be hearing a lot about him here. His name is going to become a household word, like Dr. Spock. I mean it. What Salk did for polio–well, that's what Quilp is doing for erotic pollution.
By Henry Gibson10 years ago in Filthy
LGBTQ Slang Everyone Should Know
One of the most annoying things in the world is hearing a word or phrase and realizing you have no clue what it means, especially when you're out with LGBTQ friends. Sometimes it can be frustrating to feel left out of the convo. As a gay man, I’ve used and heard slang that most heterosexuals wouldn’t recognize if it slapped them in the face. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of blank stares when I’ve used them. Even worse, too many people who don’t properly understand what the slang means use it in a negative way, often as a way to attack the LGBTQ community. But don’t fret, it’s time to get informed. With my help, you can be in the know when it comes to LGBTQ speak.
By George Gott10 years ago in Filthy
Ping Pong Sex Advice
All you need is a couple of balls, a paddle, and some stamina. Are we talking about a game of ping pong or a rowdy round in the sack? You may never know, similar to the mystery that will ensue when you read over these questions submitted to a sensuous ping pong player. This Q&A covers everything from contracting a disease to partner preference, while participating in ping pong that is! But these innuendos can be interpreted as sex advice as well. But hey, we’re not the first to make a connection between sex and the age-old sport of ping pong! In Balls of Fury, Master Wong cautions us, "Ping Pong... is not the Macarena. It takes patience. She is like a fine, well-aged prostitute... it takes years to learn her tricks."
By Filthy Staff10 years ago in Filthy
Thoughts She Has During Shower Sex
What’s hotter than shower sex? Well, according to most of the female species, just about anything is sexier than trying to do it in a stand up tub. Perhaps part of our apprehension is due to the skewed fantasy men envision when it comes to shower sex and their impossible expectations. Men see their woman standing under a hot stream of water; skin soft, clean, and slick. He imagines her massaging her long mane of hair and moaning out in ecstasy as she does so. Of course she is able to move and reach positions like a prima ballerina and her makeup is perfectly intact.
By Jus L'amore10 years ago in Filthy
Guide to Leg Body Language
More than half of communication is delivered through body language, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re all speaking the same language. The way you cross your legs, tilt your head, or even blink can give off a message that you may or may not be intending to give. Ever heard the phrase, "Women are from Venus, men are from mars?" Women and men are rarely on the same page, so it should come as no surprise to any of us that body language can be as tough to interpret as any other foreign language. Think she’s being coy? She’s probably just bored. Ladies, think you’re being confident? Surprise! You’re actually a frigid bitch! How do we level the playing field when men and women look at the world so differently? You tell both sides of the story. Men and women take note, we can all learn a little something about non-verbal communication and what exactly it is that we are saying.
By Emily McCay10 years ago in Filthy
Porn Star's Thoughts on Penis Size
Porn stars are a good judge of dick. After all, that is what they do for a living. For the purpose of entertainment, bigger probably is better. The camera, which is said to add 10 pounds, has more to capture and it adds to the excitement. But does it add to the excitement of the woman on the receiving end of the big prize? First we have to start with what is an average sized penis. Men, don’t be scared. According to studies, 45 percent of you think that you have a small one. Kind of makes you wonder how big the other 55 percent of you actually are. Another interesting fact, even if your dick appears tiny when you are soft, the stretching potential upon reaching an erection isn’t a direct correlation. You want to know the hard averages? The average size for an erect penis is 5.6". The average circumference is 4.8". Take that information for what it is and remember that a woman cares more about how you treat her—erections come and go, but jewelry lasts forever. Just saying…
By Bea Norton10 years ago in Filthy
DIY Sex Toys for Women
Though it might be hard to imagine, sometimes a dick can get a little boring. Especially if it’s little. What is a woman to do when she just isn’t getting what she wants out of her man? Let us take a look around and discover all of the wonderful, unusual, and weird things you can have sex with. There are phallus shaped items everywhere you look; but please don’t try to fuck the top of a skyscraper, that could end really badly. Men, if you see some of these items lying around the house, maybe it’s time to step up your game a bit. But don’t you worry, ain’t nothing like the real thing, baby. She is bound to come back to you soon enough, and when she does, make sure she comes hard. No one wants to be permanently replaced with a popsicle. There is nothing wrong with experimenting from time to time. Changing things up can sometimes be a good thing. And if something goes terribly awry, feel free to seek medical attention to make sure you didn’t cause any permanent damage during the throes of self-induced passion. In the end, however, no matter how fun it is to try these things out, you still need a warm body to spoon when your done…
By Bea Norton10 years ago in Filthy
