satire
Humor and satire to make you laugh. Everyone loves a good innuendo.
What Her Shoes Say About Her Sex Life
You can tell a lot about a woman by the shoes she wears. Just as a man’s car can hint at the kind of man he is—(big car, small penis?) a woman’s choice of footwear can give you more than a vague idea of the kind of ride you are in for.
By Ailish Delaney9 years ago in Filthy
Why You Should Talk to Your Lover About Poop
When two people fall in love, it is not uncommon for them to go through a lot of grueling and time consuming tactics to primp and impress their new lover. This is not an unreasonable routine. Everyone wants to feel confident in their appearance, especially when a new love interest comes along. Blemishes are caked with layers of makeup, hairs are shaved and waxed and plucked over and over again, while deodorant and perfume and cologne are used tirelessly to mask the unpleasant odors that come with having a human body.
By Filthy Staff9 years ago in Filthy
How to Date Your Friend's Sister
You’re an older kid—you have that college boy, sweat, and cheap cologne smell. When you went over to your friend's house for a post-soccer-game hangout turned sleepover, she walked to the bathroom across the hall in a gray oversized t-shirt, stopped in the door frame, and smiled that brace-filled grin.
By Filthy Staff9 years ago in Filthy
How to Become a Male Porn Star
Every. Single. Day. At least one guy will tweet me asking, "How do I get into porn?" The short answer is, "You don’t." But for those of you that actually might have the drive, perseverance, and sheer talent to be a male porn star, Imma break it down for you.
By Samantha Bentley9 years ago in Filthy
In Defense of Polygamy
According to most upholders of sexual morality and the sacred institution of marriage, the case for polygamy is as dead as the dodo. Plural marriage, they say, may be all right for primitives, heathens or the educationally benighted, but for civilized contemporaries? Unthinkable!
By Filthy Staff9 years ago in Filthy
Porn Sex Vs Real Sex
One of the questions I am frequently asked is how my partner copes with me doing porn. My answer is simple: "it’s a job." My personal sex life and my set sex life are both amazing, but for very different reasons. I'll put it this way—out of almost 1,000 scenes, I have orgasmed for real maybe four or five times. In my personal sex life, I orgasm every time, and sometimes more than once. I’m greedy like that.
By Samantha Bentley9 years ago in Filthy
Sexual Innuendos in Pokémon
In a world where the adorable faces of Jigglypuffs and Clefairys roam free, you might be surprised by the lack of innocence behind the scenes of the Pokémon universe. While the show and games were presumably created for a younger crowd, the adult fanbase is enjoying it just as much. Have you ever looked closely at Cloyster? Or accidentally spouted out the name of a Pokémon instead of asking your girlfriend to bed? It wouldn’t be the first time, as the fine line between sexual innuendos and Pokémon culture continues to blur. Sex and gender has always been an implicit topic throughout the Pokémon world. While each creature is labeled with a gender, the two sexes almost always look the same. Rather than simply smile awkwardly as Kakuna uses harden, however, Filthy is uncovering the hidden sexual messages behind your favorite pocket monsters. So zipper up your Gyarados but let your Poké Balls hang free, welcome to the sexy world of Pokémon.
By Filthy Staff9 years ago in Filthy
Living with a Small Penis
Something hideous happened to me at school, when I learned that all men were not created equal. It knocked the stuffing out of my self confidence. Until puberty penetrated the playground, life had been a breeze. Suddenly, the most unlikely boys in school took to unfurling enormous, pliable hoses and waving them around in the back row of the geometry class for all, except teachers, to see. I was horrified. The owners of these impressive appendages seemed also to be taken by surprise. And I was left to the wayside with my small penis.
By Filthy Staff9 years ago in Filthy
Best Fruit and Veggie Pick Up Lines
One liners are the bread and butter of those who have very little game or a whole lot of confidence. Despite their natural cheesiness they can often be quite hilarious (and therefore effective). Most of us have heard a few pick up line favorites from “hey girl, do you have a quarter I can borrow, because I promised I’d call my mama when I fell in love” to “did you fall from the sky, because you are an angel” to more inappropriate versions like, “did you spray your pants with Windex, because I can see myself in them.” I know, total barf. However, there are people out there who are convinced they will hook the love of their life with one creative line.
By Jus L'amore10 years ago in Filthy
Confession of a Female Pornographer
Writing pornography required (in the past) a sturdy typewriter, but today, a trusty laptop, a reasonable familiarity with the English language, and a nodding acquaintance with copulation. In my hayday, I published 32 paperback pornographic novels in four years. When I started, the shift key on my typewriter broke over 16 times, because orgasmic groans are always written in the upper case. Today, you just hit caps lock as you make your way around your MacBook Pro’s home row. I started spelling come c-u-m, and decided to make myself an anchorite.
By Florence King10 years ago in Filthy
